-------------------------------------- ICQ History Log For: 7621470 Keight Started on Sat Apr 15 01:41:35 2000 -------------------------------------- Keight 5/30/99 9:35 AM Haven't rec'd the email yet. Shary2 5/30/99 9:36 AM hold on ... I'll copy it into an icq Shary2 5/30/99 9:37 AM This may be hard ... or it might be too late ... but if you find more of the letters you mentioned that you had written to Vic, THROW THEM OUT WITHOUT READING THEM! That is over. Move on. Let go. And this message if for me too :-) Keight 5/30/99 9:37 AM I just got 4 emails Shary2 5/30/99 9:37 AM all from me? Keight 5/30/99 9:38 AM You are right. It is hard to do because I am not sure if it is some notes that I wrote on classes or something and by the time I realize it is a note I wrote him, I have already gotten into it. But I will try to stop myself from continuing because you are right. I don't need to go over the past, especially when it makes me feel so bad. Keight 5/30/99 9:39 AM Yes all 4 are from you. Let me read them and get back to you. Shary2 5/30/99 9:39 AM ok Keight 5/30/99 9:40 AM You thanked me for the hug and for sharing it; you asked me to copy the jokes; you thanked me for copying the jokes and the 4th was your suggestion to not read the notes I wrote. Thank you for all of them. Shary2 5/30/99 9:41 AM sure. I couldn't think what all I had sent :-) Keight 5/30/99 9:41 AM How are things going for you? Shary2 5/30/99 9:42 AM An awful lot of stress. Just gotta take it a day at a time. Keight 5/30/99 9:45 AM Don't let yourself get ill from the stress. Nothing is worth that (experience speaking). Shary is the most important and without her, you don't survive. I have been getting sick to the stomach since I have even started thinking about having to clean out the garage and all the junk that Vic has collected over the years. The hard part is that he asked me before he died not to throw out his stuff. Shary2 5/30/99 9:46 AM send me a chat request from this if you have a few minutes Keight 5/30/99 9:46 AM Now when I do, I think of that and wonder if I should, then I ask myself if it has any meaning for me. If not, I either "garage sale" it or toss it. But I have to keep feeling everything out that way and that makes it hard too. Shary2 5/30/99 9:47 AM I understand. Have been through that several times lately. Keight 5/31/99 4:52 PM Hi, sent you a short email Shary2 5/31/99 4:59 PM I'll go look right now. Keight 5/31/99 4:59 PM Not much, just a quickie. Shary2 5/31/99 5:00 PM I'm pretty much ok. Still on an emotional roller coaster, but at least I know where I'm going and I know it's a good move. David is coming tomorrow to get the cats. Keight 5/31/99 5:02 PM That doesn't help steady the roller coaster. I know it is OK, but it still isn't easy. You will just have to get another kitty when you get to TN to keep you company at night (or maybe a puppy). This little Bear that I just got is such a doll and so much company. Shary2 5/31/99 5:03 PM I do plan to get a kitten. Keight 5/31/99 5:06 PM That will help. Do you know what Mabon did this AM? He kicked me out of bed, pulled all the covers off of me and made me get up to take a shower and get ready for work. Can you believe that? Shary2 5/31/99 5:07 PM He sounds like so much fun. Keight 5/31/99 5:08 PM He really is. It was like being kids again. He likes to play and have fun, which is so different from Vic, who was always so serious. Shary2 5/31/99 5:08 PM That's good for you. Keight 5/31/99 5:10 PM It really is. It just feels so different. I look forward to every phone call and "being" with him. We talk about everything from movies, to sports, to news, to weather, to travel, to what we did together before, to his wife and things they did. It seems like there is never enough time to talk about everything we want to. Shary2 5/31/99 5:11 PM When will you see him? Keight 5/31/99 5:32 PM I go to Chicago on Aug 17-22. But he is talking stronger and stronger about coming to Spokane before that. He has to get the money to either drive or fly. I am trying to get the garage cleaned out and have a garage sale to send him some money to come here. Shary2 5/31/99 5:33 PM Sounds like you are both pretty anxious. I don't blame you. Keight 5/31/99 5:45 PM I know I am and I think he is too. Especially after some intimate things we do and say. I just sent him a "story" that came out of our playing this morning. I hadn't planned on writing one, it just evolved and was pretty good (if I do say so myself). Shary2 5/31/99 5:46 PM I'd love to read it. Keight 5/31/99 5:47 PM I will email it. give me a sec. Shary2 5/31/99 5:47 PM thanks Keight 5/31/99 5:48 PM You should get it pretty soon. At least I sent it. Let me know what you think. Shary2 5/31/99 5:49 PM Just got it. Will let you know when I have read it. Shary2 5/31/99 5:52 PM WOW!!! That was good :-) Keight 5/31/99 5:54 PM I am mailing it today. He should get it in a couple of days. It really sneaked out of somewhere inside of me. I hadn't meant to write a "story". Shary2 5/31/99 5:55 PM I can understand. Some of the best things I wrote to Andy were totally spontaneous. When I would just start writing without having a plan about where I wanted to go. Sometimes I was real surprised when I read what I wrote. Keight 5/31/99 5:57 PM It really is surprising. He told me I should write for a living. I don't think I could write much. It is only when it comes from inside that it turns out so neat. Maybe if I get in touch more with what is inside of me, I could write more. You could too. We should write together and see what we come up with. That could be fun. You are a really good writer. I would like to be a proof reader for some publishers. That would be fun to me. Shary2 5/31/99 5:58 PM You would be an excellent proof reader. I need inspiration to be able to write. Keight 5/31/99 5:59 PM But you have a lot of inspiration when you really think about it. Shary2 5/31/99 6:00 PM My imagination is a little quiet right now. But that's just temporary. Keight 5/31/99 6:02 PM You bet your sweet bippy it is only temporary. You got one h _ _ _ of an imagination. Shary2 5/31/99 6:03 PM Time heals all things ... including imagination :-) Keight 5/31/99 6:06 PM That is right and you have an opportunity to learn some marvelous lessons about yourself and Andy in the interim. What a wonderful thing. I really mean it. You have learned so much about yourself from David and Andy so far. Think what more you will learn and how much more you will grow. That is how I view what is going on with Mabon and me. Did I tell you the insight I got the other day? Shary2 5/31/99 6:07 PM no you didn't Keight 5/31/99 6:07 PM It was in a dream state (not asleep or awake, but in between) "You have paid the piper, now it is time to hear the music". I took that to mean that Vic was the piper and Mabon is the music. Keight 5/31/99 6:07 PM Now I did Shary2 5/31/99 6:07 PM beautiful Keight 5/31/99 6:08 PM I thought it was pretty neat too. Shary2 5/31/99 6:08 PM gotta make a phone call Keight 5/31/99 6:08 PM I gotta go home, so talk to you tomorrow. Keight 6/1/99 1:55 PM Are you here? Shary2 6/2/99 4:27 AM David just left with the cats. Keight 6/2/99 1:15 PM How are you feeling? ((((((((((((( SHARY )))))))))))))))) I think you might need this. (I know I would) Shary2 6/2/99 1:17 PM I feel good about the cats. Got a nice note from Lin this morning that says they're doing fine. Got emails from Andy last night saying to send him my schedule. Doesn't mean I'll get to see him, don't think I will in fact, but at least he asked. Keight 6/2/99 1:19 PM What makes you think you won't see Andy? Shary2 6/2/99 1:19 PM just a feeling ... or maybe fear of disappointment Keight 6/2/99 1:27 PM Just listening to what you have said about what he says..it feels like he really does care, but is just too tied up to do anything about it right now. But when he finishes Laughlin, he would be open to communicating. That is my feeling only and based on only a small bit of information. But I felt like this last week when you were telling me about what was going on too. You are the only one who knows what is going on and how you feel about it Keight 6/2/99 1:28 PM What do you know about Aquarius and Scorpio relationships? Shary2 6/2/99 1:36 PM Scorpio and Aquarius are squared which normally means butting heads. Usually good for sex. Aquarians can be very cold at times, and can tend to run hot and cold for no apparent reason. Remember it is an air sign so they can go around with their heads in the clouds. It is also a fixed sign ... persistent or stubborn. Keight 6/2/99 1:37 PM Just thought I would ask...Mabon is Aquarius and I am Scorpio. What about Aquarius and Aries? Shary2 6/2/99 1:38 PM 60 degrees, generally favorable, not sure of any specifics Keight 6/2/99 1:39 PM Thanks. My rising is Aries. I don't know what his risiing is, but his sun is Aquarius. My Moon is Pisces and again I don't know what is Moon is. Shary2 6/2/99 1:40 PM get his birth time and place and I'll find out for you Keight 6/2/99 1:41 PM OK, I think I can do that. I know he grew up in Billings, MT, but am not sure that is where he was born. I will ask him. Thanks for the assistance. Shary2 6/2/99 1:41 PM np Keight 6/2/99 1:42 PM How is your day going? You are leaving at what time tomorrow for Portland? Shary2 6/2/99 1:44 PM around 4, I think. guess I'd better check :-) Just looked up the weather so I'd know what to pack. High 50's, possible showers. In June! Keight 6/2/99 1:46 PM We have been having cloudy, cold, rainy weather the past 3 days. Highs in the 60's and lows in the 40's. I almost froze when I got home yesterday because I had my window open and two fans going. I turned the fans off and slept like a baby. I like it cool. Shary2 6/2/99 1:47 PM I'm packing so in and out of the computer room. Keight 6/2/99 1:48 PM NP Are you taking a taxi to the airport? Or is someone going to take you? Shary2 6/2/99 1:50 PM Mary will take me. Keight 6/2/99 1:51 PM That is great. I wondered if that is who would take you, but I wasn't sure is she could get away to do it. Shary2 6/2/99 1:53 PM Nothing to get away from She is still staying here and the job isn't 100% definite yet. Keight 6/2/99 1:55 PM Oh, I thought she was already working as manager. Is she living at the complex she is supposed to manage? Does she know when it will be definite? Shary2 6/2/99 1:56 PM She will get an apartment there. Not sure when she starts yet. Apparently the person who does the hiring is waiting on references. Mary will leave here when I do if she isn't working by then, and she will have to return to PHX and stay with her daughter until something comes up. Keight 6/2/99 1:58 PM I bet you already asked her if she wants to go to TN..>? Shary2 6/2/99 2:01 PM nope, would be more difficult for her to find a job in a small town Keight 6/2/99 2:01 PM How big is Clarksville? Shary2 6/2/99 2:02 PM I just know it's small. I'll have to ask Rodona. Keight 6/2/99 2:04 PM When we lived in Rockford, WA it was 450 population. Spokane is about 200k. Puelbo was 120k. Spokane and Pueblo are about the size towns I like. Not too big, but big enough. Shary2 6/2/99 2:09 PM 1995 was 90,000 pop. Keight 6/2/99 2:16 PM Well, that was really interesting. Sounds like a really nice place to be. The temp is a little cooler than Phx or Lv, but sounds great. Shary2 6/2/99 2:17 PM I'm sure I'll like it. My house is only 3 or 4 years old, has 1500 square feet, and is in a newer subdivision. Keight 6/2/99 2:18 PM That sounds great. You said it is a rental? Could you have an option to purchase if you decided to stay? Shary2 6/2/99 2:19 PM I don't know. But Rodona and Joseph will probably move in 3 to 5 years. If I'm still there at that time, I'd likely leave too. The downstairs is going to be our office. Keight 6/2/99 2:21 PM Where would you go from there, say if you and Andy don't get together and you haven't found someone else? Shary2 6/2/99 2:24 PM Don't have a clue. Depends on what I'm doing at that time. Maybe Andy will get together and retire to a wonderful little Greek village :-) Keight 6/2/99 2:28 PM That sounds very romantic. That would be the very best scenario of all. That is where I will place my money. In the mean time, you keep writing your "stories" to him and you might sneak in the little 5-question game you play so well and maybe he will open up whatever he hasn't told you yet. Mabon is really open and honest about everything I have asked him so far. But there are some things I haven't covered yet. Keight 6/2/99 2:29 PM I have not approached the subject yet except as a hint as to my belief system. He is Catholic and doesn't believe in metaphysics (as far as he knows) Shary2 6/2/99 2:29 PM Andy would have to teach me Greek. And I know he loves Rome so we could go there too. And he loves the sidewalk cafes in Paris. As long as I'm going to fantasize, I might as well include Paris :-) Shary2 6/2/99 2:30 PM (as far as he knows) that's the key phrase Keight 6/2/99 2:31 PM You better believe it. As long as you are there, you need to see and experience it all. I hear they have some beautiful caves over in the Greek area. You can explore them while there. Shary2 6/2/99 2:32 PM Andy does crossword puzzles in Greek and Italian! Keight 6/2/99 2:33 PM I know it is. I don't think he has experienced any of it. He doesn't believe in herbal remedies because of the medication he is taking and doesn't want anything to interfere with it. He doesn't like most vegetables, so a well rounded diet or using foods to heal is out of the question. Like you said, he is a bit hard headed. That is OK with me, but could be a problem when I say "eat this" or "drink that" to be well. Keight 6/2/99 2:34 PM You haven't had him teach you, yet? What a beautiful language to listen to. And do they ever make good lovers. You are so lucky. No wonder you don't want to give it up easily. I wouldn't either. Does he have an older brother? or really good friend? Shary2 6/2/99 2:35 PM no brothers or sisters ... just an 18-year-old daughter and a mother and lots of cousins Keight 6/2/99 2:41 PM Just thought I would ask...Maybe I could be as lucky as you and find someone who is as good as a lover as he is to you (but not a work-a-holic) Shary2 6/2/99 2:43 PM and open and honest ... we still have that bridge to cross Keight 6/2/99 2:46 PM That's true. But right now, I would settle for the lover and friend. (that is terrible, huh?) "Maybe I am just a dirty old lady". The rest would have to approached when it gets here. Honesty and trust are the basis for any serious relationship. But Greek and Italian would be hard to ignore. Shary2 6/2/99 2:47 PM you've got that right :-) Keight 6/2/99 2:50 PM Besides covering my head with a paper bag, what would be my chances of finding such a combination as Greek/Italian lover? Probably 0 to none. Shary2 6/2/99 2:57 PM tee hee ... you're making me laugh! I'll be gone for a few minutes. Keight 6/2/99 2:57 PM OK, just run out on me when I get on a roll. See how you are? TTYL Keight 6/2/99 5:47 PM Going home..TTYL Have a beautiful evening.... Keight 6/3/99 11:31 AM just sent you an email..How's it going today? Shary2 6/3/99 11:32 AM talking to Lin Keight 6/3/99 11:32 AM Phone or ICQ? I can wait, no hurry Shary2 6/3/99 11:32 AM phone Keight 6/3/99 11:33 AM OK, like I said, no hurry. TTYL Shary2 6/3/99 11:52 AM off the phone ... packing for ptld good time for break from computers ... bad carpal tunnel doing reiki on it and will massage with aromatherapy formula Keight 6/3/99 11:57 AM When did you get carpal tunnel? Didn't know you had it. I am surprised I don't have it, for all the years of computers I have done. Maybe I hold my mouth just right. Shary2 6/3/99 11:58 AM from Louise Hay: carpal tunnel -- anger and frustration at life's seeming injustices who, me? :-) Keight 6/3/99 12:00 PM Ouch, when the shoe fits......Do we have a lesson here? Frustrated with life's injustice? Not Shary.... Shary2 6/3/99 12:01 PM no, never! :-) Keight 6/3/99 12:07 PM Didn't think so...So how do you massage injustice? You can Reiki the situation. Do you think that (in general) TRUST is an issue for you to work with? I know you trust, but when it comes to really important "stuff", do you trust the universe to help you, and do you trust that you can let go of control and allow things to happen for your best interest? Shary2 6/3/99 12:10 PM i really can't answer that honestly right now so much is up in the air, unsettled, but somehow it will work out my highest good can't type without pain ... will try to check back in before i go Keight 6/3/99 12:18 PM That is OK..I will send some energy also to your "situation" TTYL Shary2 6/3/99 12:19 PM thanks Keight 6/3/99 12:19 PM You rest now. Keight 6/4/99 3:48 PM Hope you are feeling better....Will talk to you tomorrow..Have a great evening and trip to Portland....I guess I won't talk to you tomorrow because you will be gone. So I will talk to you sometime on monday. Have a great visit with your family. (((((SHARY)))))) Keight 6/7/99 8:40 AM Let me know when you get home.......... Keight 6/7/99 2:41 PM I should have thought of this earlier. What time is Andy coming over? Shary2 6/7/99 4:09 PM I don't know. He doesn't know. Keight 6/9/99 9:31 AM Are you on ICQ? I just sent an email Shary2 6/9/99 9:32 AM got to run out with mary to her NEW APARTMENT! She got the job -- just in the nick of time. whew! will let you know when I get back. I'm in LOVE and it feels so damn good! ttyl Keight 6/27/99 5:43 PM Bye for today. Talk to you tomorrow Keight 6/29/99 7:19 AM GOOD MORNING Shary2 6/29/99 7:19 AM Mornin' ... How are you doing today? Keight 6/29/99 7:22 AM Doing Terrific. Life is a glow and the fires are lit. How about you? Shary2 6/29/99 7:24 AM Went for a beautiful morning walk -- perfect weather (well, a little humid) and saw gorgeous flowers, 2 bunnies and lots of birds. Did I send you the poem Andy wrote me? Keight 6/29/99 7:25 AM Sounds like a dream morning for you. No you didn't send Andy's Poem. Would love to read it. Shary2 6/29/99 7:34 AM You asked for it :-) Roses are red Violets are blue Pretend I am there Deep inside you. Keight 6/29/99 7:36 AM That's neat...shows he has wishful thinking. (Too bad wishful thinking isn't the same as teleportation) I know where you and I would be teleported to. Shary2 6/29/99 7:37 AM He's been more communicative the last few days. But he went from Thursday to Sunday with almost no sleep. Keight 6/29/99 7:39 AM That going without sleep is not healthy. I just can't imagine doing that. I would have passed out from exhaustion long before Sunday. It is not any wonder why he has problems communicating. Shary2 6/29/99 7:52 AM You're right. His mind gets fuzzy after awhile and he can't even think. I want it to be over! Keight 6/29/99 8:16 AM I have a midi from Rockapella...Do you want it? Shary2 6/29/99 8:17 AM Please! Keight 6/29/99 8:18 AM OK, Here it comes. I just called Mabon and played it for him too. Keight 6/29/99 8:21 AM Boy, that took a while to get there. TN must be a lot farther away than LV Shary2 6/29/99 8:22 AM Funny lady! I'll listen to it in a minute. The office is full of people right now. Keight 6/29/99 8:23 AM Office? People? I thought you were working from your home....Don't understand Shary2 6/29/99 8:25 AM The living room is our "office". I'll take pictures and put them on a website. We have someone here painting, and Lynda (jdoes admin stuff for Rodona) is here. And Rodona and me. Keight 6/29/99 8:26 AM Oh, I understand now. I thought you meant customers type people. That is pretty neat. I can imagine what a different atmosphere it is than the ones you have recently gotten out of. Shary2 6/29/99 8:27 AM It's busy and noisy and ALIVE :-) Keight 6/29/99 8:28 AM Better than being relatively quiet and secluded. But I can also imagine that it could become a bit overwhelming at times too because you were used to quiet seclusion. Shary2 6/29/99 8:29 AM I get my quiet time at night. I'm enjoying the activiity ... at least for now. I can always go up to my room if I need a few minutes by myself. Keight 6/29/99 8:31 AM You have such a wonderful sense of priority. I have a hard time keeping my prioritie straight and allow myself to get sucked up into things before I realize it and then have trouble pulling myself out of it. You have a beautiful way of pulling yourself out before it becomes a problem. Would like to learn that from you. Shary2 6/29/99 8:33 AM That's a lovely thing to say. Shary2 6/29/99 8:35 AM I've tried several times to do that with Andy ... pull out of the relationship before I get "dumped". But just haven't been able to. There has always been that little shred of hope that it mioght work and I just haven't been able to walk away. Now I'm glad I didn't. It isn't perfect, but I do think he really cares for me. Keight 6/29/99 8:36 AM I pick things up too slowly and would like to learn to recogonize problems before I get involved in them so deeply. I have always admired your ability to see things like that and know what is right for you to do and then do it. It takes me so long to get to that point. I truly feel that Andy cares a great deal for you. I am glad you didn't walk away from that situation. Shary2 6/29/99 8:37 AM The joy of loving him outweighs the pain I sometimes allow myself to feel when things are going the way I would like them to. Shary2 6/29/99 8:40 AM Ooooh, I like that sound byte. Keight 6/29/99 8:41 AM When you feel that pain and share it with me, I feel it with you. But I also feel it from his side and (I guess) intuitively know that he truly loves you. It is hard to describe, but I know you are doing what is best for you. You deserve the very best. You know they say that the best things in life are enjoyed much more when there is some pain involved. Keight 6/29/99 8:41 AM Nice, huh? I like it too. Shary2 6/29/99 8:41 AM Do you really belive he loves me? Even when he doesn't think he does? Shary2 6/29/99 8:42 AM I'd like more of them. Keight 6/29/99 8:44 AM I believe so. It is only based on what you tell me, because I have never talked with him personally. But in the things he does and says, it is there. He shows it in so many ways. But when you are so involved in the feelings of the situation, it is harder for you to see. But since I only know what you tell me, you are also telling me that he truly loves you. You are just afraid to believe it yourself because you are afraid of being hurt. Shary2 6/29/99 8:45 AM I think if I could believe that he loves me, that I would be the happiest woman on the planet. I come close to that just believing that he cares a lot for me :-) Keight 6/29/99 8:48 AM Did I tell you that Rockapella answered my questions the same day I asked them? (yesterday) I was surprised. Barry Carl is married and has two daughters. Oh well, I guess I am going to have to settle for Mabons boots under my bed. I told him that he had been replaced by Barry Carl. He tried to make me jealous, but it didn't work. Now he is telling me that he is having lunch Thurs with a woman he used to work with..... Shary2 6/29/99 8:48 AM Is he trying to play mind games with you? Or is he teasing? Why the lunch? Keight 6/29/99 8:52 AM It is a woman he used to tell that he would rather walk behind her because the VIEW was better and that he wanted to get into her drawers (where she kept candy). He thinks I am going to be jealous. I told him I was glad he was having lunch with her and that maybe (since she is divorced) he might strike up a relationship with her and not have to hit the dating scene after all. Shary2 6/29/99 8:53 AM How does he react to those comments? Keight 6/29/99 8:57 AM I guess she called him and asked him to lunch. (My feelings) He may be a little jealous of me and wants that male superiority so he tries to make me jealous too. I don't get jealous. I had dinner with an old high school friend I ran into, and he did the same thing. (tried to make me jealous). David said we would have a better relationship if I were the male and he were the female. I have to admit.... Shary2 6/29/99 8:58 AM interesting Keight 6/29/99 8:59 AM that I do have a twinge of jealousy, but I won't let him know that. The reason I don't want him to know, is that he wants to keep this a friendship and that would let him know that I feel much deeper about it than he does. He won't admit he is jealous either. It just shows in his actions. Keight 6/29/99 9:00 AM I like the way you ask a question that I just answered and sent. It is so ironic. You and I are in total sinc most of the time. Shary2 6/29/99 9:00 AM yep, fun isn't it? Keight 6/29/99 9:00 AM You betcher sweet bippy it is. Shary2 6/29/99 9:01 AM Rodona and I are so much alike and can practically finish each other's sentences (do, in fact, sometimes) and Joseph can't believe it. He's so funny. He just shakes his head at us and laughs. Keight 6/29/99 9:03 AM It is fun. I am really happy that you found a friend that is so good for you and with you. Your whole attitude has changed. Much brighter, positive and happier. Very nice change. Shary2 6/29/99 9:05 AM I agree :-) Shary2 6/29/99 9:05 AM This is what Andy knew would happen and why he encouraged me to come here. Keight 6/29/99 9:08 AM He is a very wise man and very caring about you. That is how I know he loves you. If he didn't, he would not have even cared if you finally left David. He could have kept you there and still have had his "jollies" with you if he didn't really care about you. But once you made your choice, he was right there for you. He didn't try to encourage you to stay with David, so he wouldn't have any responsibility to you and could still have his wants. Shary2 6/29/99 9:08 AM Thank you :-) Keight 6/29/99 9:09 AM taken care of. And when it came time to do the Laughlin job, he was genuinely concerned about your safety and would rather let you go thatn keep you there just for himself whenever he could get to you. So you see the love that he is showing you? Shary2 6/29/99 9:10 AM I asked him if he sent me here to get me out of his way and he got so pissed! That was a couple of weeks ago when we were having some communication problems. Keight 6/29/99 9:13 AM I remember you telling me about that. Again, he showed you how much he cares. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gotten upset. You are a rare lady and he knows it and I feel he would do anything for you that he could. Sure his job is important to him (probably raised that way), but you have him hooked and he couldn't get away if he thought he might want to. Hooked by your honesty, loving and caring ways and your allure. Shary2 6/29/99 9:18 AM God, I hope you're right. Cause I sure am hooked :-) And he knows it too. Keight 6/29/99 9:21 AM All I can tell you is what I "feel", but it is based on what you tell me, and so it is something that you really also KNOW. It is just harder for you to see it, being so deeply involved. I know that from my own experiences. That is why you and I help each other so much. You see for me and I see for you. Shary2 6/29/99 9:27 AM Rodona gets get agravated at Andy sometimes but also believes he cares a lot for me. Has never doubted that, even when I have. Keight 6/29/99 9:31 AM So when you start to feel like maybe he doesn't love you, then talk to one (or both) of us and let us help you find your balance. You are such a wonderfully strong person but you sometimes allow your (old) feelings of low self esteem take hold and feel you aren't good enough to keep him loving you. Get rid of those old tapes. Age makes no difference, it is the man that is important. You love him, not his Love Making or Youth.... Keight 6/29/99 9:33 AM however young that is...and you are the person he loves. He has really been a lot more open and honest with you than most men would be. He let you know what he held important and where you stand in his life. And maybe you come second, but it isn't a very distant second. You are a very lucky person. Shary2 6/29/99 9:36 AM Boy, you sure know how to say the right things. Keight 6/29/99 9:41 AM Most women would give their right arm to be in your place, to have a man like Andy, to be able to write fantasies and have him fulfill them, to know where they stood with their man, to have the freedom to be who she is and be able to communicate like you do. If Mabon and I don't get together, I could only dream of finding what you have. Mabon is my Andy (at this point). Keight 6/29/99 9:44 AM Having a man that may not want to say "I love you" but shows you in so many wonderful ways. What a beautiful relationship. That is something I want more than life itself...to have someone who can SHOW his love for me. The words are nice, but not necessary. The actions show more than words could ever say. But you actually have both. Not I LOVE YOU, but he tells you he cares, he tells you things that say ILY louder than words Shary2 6/29/99 9:47 AM I'm smiling :-) Thanks. Keight 6/29/99 9:50 AM Glad I could make you smile. I need to get some work done, so I will talk with you later. I think I might also write a "story" for Mabon and share it with him tonight. Shary2 6/29/99 9:53 AM me2 ? Keight 6/29/99 9:56 AM Tell you what..I will write one for Mabon and you write one for Andy and we can share later. You know what just went through my mind, when I wrote the last sentence? Instead of "we can SHARE later", we can swap stories and send each others stories. Then see what would happen. Oh, I am SSSOOOOOOO Bad. Talk to you later. Shary2 6/29/99 9:58 AM tsk, tsk :-) Keight 7/1/99 7:40 AM I don't blame you. That can be dangerous if he drives, and just for his own health. I certainly would want it to be over for his sake. It would be nice for you too, because you wouldn't worry so much about him and would be able to see him more. He may have a lot of money, but if he can't live long enough to enjoy it, what's the use of it? Keight 7/1/99 7:40 AM Hi, How are things going for you? Shary2 7/1/99 7:45 AM In a meeting -- many challenges today. Will get back to you when we solve some of the more pressing problems. Keight 7/1/99 7:47 AM I can wait.....No hurry Shary2 7/1/99 8:16 AM sorry. Got lots of problems today and we've got chats going with 4 other people trying to solve them. If I don't get back to you it will be because we're up to our asses in alligators, not because I forgot :-) I sure hope the new medication solves the problems. ttyl Keight 7/1/99 8:16 AM That's OK...I Understand "Alligators" ttyl Shary2 7/1/99 12:05 PM Hi ... Been working on a cgi problem for 8 hours. Just found the solution but still have to work with it for a couple more hours to put the knowledge into practice. Keight 7/1/99 12:08 PM That sounds serious..what is CGI? You are so knowledgable. It is funny how far you have gone from the lady who just entered data, but didn't know the system to this total computer whiz. And here I am, just entering data and don't know the internet system. Seems ironic to me. Shary2 7/1/99 12:10 PM common gateway interface It's what you need to have an interactive form. We've been out of business today because the server we've housed our cgi on went down and we had to find a way to do it that couldn't be done :-) Keight 7/1/99 12:15 PM See what a whiz you are. I am impressed and loving it. Are you going to be and running today, do you think? Shary2 7/1/99 12:15 PM Not today. It's already 3:15 here. Might be able to mail tonight. Keight 7/1/99 12:20 PM What a bummer to have to wait so long to do your mailing. I know what you will be doing tonight....instead of sleeping. Do you still have problems with the CFS? Or have you found a way to work with it? Mickey (Harry's Sister) has CFS and she is looking for any help she can get. Shary2 7/1/99 12:25 PM I don't mean to sound trite about it at all, but the truth is that I don't have time to think about it. I do take good supplements, but don't do anything else. Most of the time I'm ok. Andy might get to come see me in a couple of weeks, or have me meet him in New Orleans. He has to go to LA to look at some transponders. Would be a quick trip. Keight 7/1/99 12:29 PM Oh, how lucky you are. How can you be so calm about it? Well, I guess working so hard on this CGI problem could distort your excitement...Man, I would be elated if I were going to see Mabon in a couple of weeks. I am already getting excited about August coming up in about 6 weeks. Now you have to admit that this is a sign of deep love. (I know the "maybe" is there, but I like to stay positive) Shary2 7/1/99 12:35 PM I just found out this afternoon and it came out in a 3-way with Andy, Rodona and me when we were trying to solve another problem. Haven't really had time to think about it yet. I'll probably be awake all night once it hits me :-) Keight 7/1/99 12:54 PM Copy that...I am excited for you and (once it hits) can imagine what it will do for you. That is the NEATEST! ! ! Keight 7/2/99 12:11 PM Hi Thanks for the "Proverbs" Love them. Are you up and running? Have you have time to comprehend your upcoming visitation? Keight 7/2/99 12:12 PM I am taking down the email.It causes problems with ICQ (or vice versa) and I am going to try running them individually. Shary2 7/2/99 12:17 PM The shoot sounds like fun. Nope, haven't had time to think about Andy's visit. We had a fierce storm last night. Had to shut down the computers for the night. First time they've all been off since I got here. Keight 7/2/99 12:19 PM The shoot was fun. I watched them do Bob's make-up and how they did the lighting and panning of the camera. Also saw how easy it is for someone to forget their lines (like in the bloopers on TV). It was really neat. Do they have tornadoes where you are? Shary2 7/2/99 12:20 PM Yes, there was a storm warning for us and a tornado warning just south of us. The house literally shook when it thundered. Keight 7/2/99 12:22 PM Wow, that would be a bit scary. But they build the houses to withstand quite a bit of weather like that, don't they?? Did you hide under the door sill or in the basement? Shary2 7/2/99 12:23 PM I just went to bed and read. We didn't lowse power but everytime the thunder was real strong, it made my phone ring :-) Keight 7/2/99 12:24 PM Did you answer it? It may have been the Universe trying to get ahold of your attention, you know. Shary2 7/2/99 12:25 PM tee hee hee Keight 7/2/99 12:26 PM Whaaaaaat? Do you have plans for the 4th? Shary2 7/2/99 12:26 PM We're going to the post (Fort Campbell) for the fireworks display and will probably have a cookout at Rodona's and Joe's. Keight 7/2/99 12:29 PM That sounds like fun. Donna (a friend of mine) invited us up for a BBQ and then another friend invited us to her apartment building to watch the fireworks. Shary2 7/2/99 12:29 PM Sounds nice. Wiill Dawn go with you? Keight 7/2/99 12:32 PM I think she is going - at least she is invited. Shary2 7/2/99 12:33 PM I'm looking forward to the fireworks. Keight 7/2/99 12:36 PM I love fireworks. This willbe the first time in a VERY long time that I have seen them and only the second time that I will have watched them from a really good vantage point. Beside we may turn out to have a party there in the meantime. I don't know anyone who will be there, except one person. But maybe I could meet someone there who would like to be a friend. Shary2 7/2/99 12:37 PM I really don't have much opportunity to meet anyone here but just having Rodona's family keeps me from being lonely. Keight 7/2/99 12:38 PM Mabon did not have his lunch with his ex-coworker yesterday. He said she called and postponed it until next week. Yesterday AM he started trying to "get friendly" and I wouldn't let him because I didn't want him all excited before meeting her. I told him, it may want him to jump her bones right there and then. Shary2 7/2/99 12:38 PM what did he say? Keight 7/2/99 12:39 PM It sounds like she is a really nice person. I like the way they have taken you in as a part of their family. It is good to know that you are being taken care of (so to speak) and don't have to be alone. Hope you know what I mean. Shary2 7/2/99 12:40 PM Andy has said the same thing. He seems to be truly glad that I'm happier here. Of course if I get to see him soon, I will be estatic, not just happy. Keight 7/2/99 12:41 PM He laughed and agreed with me. I asked him if he thought I would be jealous and he said he didn't know. But I think he was trying to see if I would. He said Mary was very jealous and I let him know that I am not the jealous type. I told him, "I don't get mad, I get even." Keight 7/2/99 12:41 PM I am surprised that you haven't gotten that way already. I would have had my heart in my throat, no matter how much work I had to do. Shary2 7/2/99 12:42 PM I'll let you know if I get to talk to Andy tonight. I think I sent you the last story I wrote. Shary2 7/2/99 12:43 PM It's way too indefinite to get overly excited yet. Keight 7/2/99 12:44 PM Which one was that? You sent the one about the new outfit...was there one after that? You were going to write one and I was going to write one and we were going to exchange. I never got mine written and haven't received yours. Shary2 7/2/99 12:45 PM Did I send the one about going to Vegas to meet him? Keight 7/2/99 12:56 PM That was the one where you had the new outfit (and I couldn't get the link to work) and he said it was nice. Shary2 7/2/99 12:57 PM Did you get installment 2 of Mt Charleston after the 3 mudslides and 2 B-52's? Keight 7/2/99 12:57 PM Nope, I didn't get that one. Shary2 7/2/99 12:58 PM I will send it in a few minutes. Keight 7/2/99 12:59 PM I will leave the email on for a while. If it causes problems, I will have to take ICQ down too. But we will corss that bridge when we get to it Shary2 7/2/99 1:00 PM I'm getting ready to send it right now. Shary2 7/2/99 1:02 PM It's sent. Keight 7/2/99 1:02 PM Great I will go get it and be right back Keight 7/2/99 1:07 PM And I bet bet he wanted to go to bed...right? Keight 7/2/99 1:07 PM No????? I wonder why Shary2 7/2/99 1:09 PM We had a discussion way before we met the first time and he asked me if I like oral sex. I said yes, very much, up to a point. So, when I wrote about being uninhibited about 3 drinks, he said "does that mean you swallow?" He was teasing me so that's why I wrote the story the way I did. Shary2 7/2/99 1:10 PM He wrote back and said it's my story so I have to finish it my way. He wasn't about to make the choice. He's such a chicken! I haven't decided yet where to go from there. Keight 7/2/99 1:12 PM That is one thing I told Mabon I would not EVER do. I asked him to please be sure that he NEVER ejaculated in my mouth or tried to hold me down when I had him in my mouth. My uncle used to do that and I gag. Vic, one time, tried to hold me down and I NEVER did oran sex with him again. I am not sure I can do it with Mabon, but he likes it so much. Keight 7/2/99 1:12 PM We do it on the phone, but I don't know if I will be able to in person. I have told him that already. Keight 7/2/99 1:13 PM At least in a story, you can do whatever you want. It is what happens in real life that counts. Can I ask you a REALLY personal question (about you and Andy)? Shary2 7/2/99 1:15 PM yes, of course Keight 7/2/99 1:17 PM It sounds (in some of the BTS) that you have anal sex. Is that what you do? or am I missing something? You talk about his entering you from the back, but you are bent over. Is there a way to enter the cervix from the back? There are some things that I have never experienced and am really curious. Shary2 7/2/99 1:20 PM That is the one thing I have told Andy that I will NEVER do :-) He has never had anal sex with anyone and I did once with Dick and hated it. Andy is so huge that I would die. But I love vaginal sex with the guy behind me. It is a very different feeling as the pressure points are so different. And the curve of the penis is the opposite of intercourse from the front. VERY NICE! When Andy and I are together >>> Shary2 7/2/99 1:21 PM I spend a lot of time giving him oral sex. He loves it and thinks I'm really good at it. One time when I went to Vegas to see him and we were in a hotel, we were watching Jerry Springer on TV in the morning and I spent every commercial with my head under the covers :-) Keight 7/2/99 1:32 PM Thank you for clarifying that for me. I don't like anl sex either. Vic did it once and I hated it also. But I might see if Mabon would try this other. He probably has never done it himself. It could be a real learning experience for both of us. How did you ever discover this position? I need to send you copies of my Mayan Calendar. You would love it. It has quite a story behind it. Keight 7/2/99 1:33 PM Each month is a different position (with mayans). Merrilyn McDonald knows the woman who created it. This woman created the calendar, but needed the artwork done by someone else. She needed pictures for the artist to draw from. So she commissioned her best friend and her brother to pose for the photos. Her friend was elated to pose with her brother because he is really good looking. Shary2 7/2/99 1:34 PM It must be interesting :-) I found I liked that position with my first husband. I think we probably discovered it by him cuddling around me, getting a hard-on, and just wiggling around till we got "connected". Probably didn't start out with that in mind. Keight 7/2/99 1:34 PM Although the positions are a bit compromising they wore swim suits while being photographed. Shary2 7/2/99 1:34 PM Fascinating. Keight 7/2/99 1:36 PM Well, that is interesting. I like to be cuddled from behind too, but I don't want anal sex, and when Vic would start to "rise" I would turn toward him. Mabon and I cuddle back to belly. But he also does not like anal sex. So this would be an interesting way to progress in a more natural way. Thank you for sharing that with me. Donna was telling me about a new technique I am going to try with Mabon. It is called a "Hum Job" Shary2 7/2/99 1:37 PM Tell me about that. Sounds most interesting! Shary2 7/2/99 1:50 PM tell me .... tell me Shary2 7/2/99 1:58 PM OK... you have me on the edge of my chair! Keight 7/2/99 2:13 PM I did tell you about the hum job....Hum with your mouth on the dick and it drives them crazy. Hum on the balls, hum in the groin, hum wherever. They can hum on us too and it would surely be nice. Think how it would feel to have Andy "hum" on your nipples or other "special" places. Just to think about it gets things stirring. Shary2 7/2/99 2:14 PM Well, yes it does :-) Keight 7/2/99 2:23 PM I was a "Baaad" girl this AM. I started teasing Mabon when I knew I didn't have time to "finish" and then left him hanging "cause I had to take a shower and get ready for work." But I did it purposely. Hoping that tonight he will be turned on and ready to have fun. It was really hard for me to do that, but it felt good to be in control of the situation. That is terrible, I know. But sometimes I like to have control (Scorpio) Shary2 7/2/99 2:27 PM Andy is very willing to yield control in bed ... but nowhere else. Keight 7/2/99 2:29 PM Well, at least he lets you have control somewhere and you know where it is. That allows you to do whatever you want. That is a good place to have control, because in the long run it may wield control in other areas. I like the saying "A man chases a woman until she catches him." Keight 7/6/99 8:06 AM It is like oral sex, only you hum with your mouth over the end of the penis and it causes quite a vibration for them. I can imagine what it would do to them. It sure tickles my lips to hum with nothing in between. Humming could work on all parts of the body. Keight 7/6/99 8:12 AM Someone sent a URL of nudies. I opened it before checking to see who it was from. I thought it was from you and I usually just open things from you because I know you only send good things. When I realized this wasn't from you, I deleted it. Just sent you an email. I closed the Outlook so I can use ICQ. Shary2 7/6/99 8:13 AM i'll check my eamil Shary2 7/6/99 8:14 AM can't get into aol till i finish a download Keight 7/6/99 8:30 AM Later if OK...I will be here most of the day. I am going to lunch with a friend (around noon) and will probably go home around 4:30 or 5 PM. Keight 7/7/99 7:42 AM Hi, how are you doing? Did you get my email from yesterday? I took down Outlook so ICQ can run. Shary2 7/7/99 7:43 AM Hi, I got it but haven't gotten to read it yet. Have not slept since Monday night. Mexico server is down. Lost our cgi-bin. Sad conversation with Andy. Will take a break this afternoon and read my mail. Keight 7/7/99 7:45 AM Maybe when you take a break you can fill me in on the conversation with Andy. Sounds like you have had your fair share of problems. Let me know when you break. Shary2 7/7/99 7:49 AM You know how I am. Can't really talk about it when it's fresh. But basically we're just not making any plans. Will continue to communicate but with no plans or goals for after laughlin. He is so stressed with work, and I can't stay on this roller coaster. It may just taper off rather than flame out. Will have to wait and see. Keight 7/7/99 7:52 AM I know how it is about talking about things while they are fresh. But I have found talking with you has helped so much. The roller coaster ride should not be a part of any relationship. You will do what is best for you. Just know that you have my (((((((hugs))))))))) and support. Shary2 7/7/99 7:52 AM thanks Keight 7/7/99 7:54 AM You are a really special person. Always remember that. It sounds like you need to get some rest yourself. Shary2 7/7/99 7:55 AM yep, I will, but couldn't sleep now. And need to solve some more problems before I can even think about it. Keight 7/7/99 7:55 AM Just take care of yourself. You can't earn that green stuff, if you are ill. Keight 7/11/99 6:38 AM Hi-What's happening? This is the first time in a long time that I have had my home computer on. I had 42 email messages. They are the ones you send me at work and then I forward them home and delete them from my work computer. Some things I don't really want anyone else to read, if you catch my drift..... Shary2 7/11/99 6:46 AM Hi ... I'm here but icq'ing with andy about work. Keight 7/11/99 6:47 AM OK, talk to you later.. I have a Toastmaster picnic to go to soon. You have a great day and will probably talk to you tomorrow from work. Keight 7/12/99 12:47 PM Did you get my last ICQ Message or my last email? I don't know if I am having problems with this system or what. Anyway, Hi and How are you? I have to quickly share this with you...Mabon told his step-daughter about me coming out to stay with him for a while. She said she was glad and if we got married it was OK with her. I know it made him feel better, because he didn't know what she would say. Shary2 7/12/99 12:48 PM wow! That's a big step. Keight 7/12/99 12:49 PM Also, talked to Kay Schaff last night and she was asking about you. I told her that you and David had divorced and that you had moved to TN. She didn't understand why, but I explained a short bit to her and she said to tell you HI for her. She would like to know if she can get some of the cream she got from you somewhere in PHX? I guess it is probably the creamy base for the lotions. Shary2 7/12/99 12:51 PM I don't have any way of getting it here. Besides shipping would be awful. But tell her hello for me. I'm wondering what I'm doing here too! Business is not going well. The one good thing is that Rodona and I are in this together. If I were alone right now, I'd be a mess. Keight 7/12/99 12:51 PM I was certainly relieved. It was a truly giant step for him. He hasn't told anyone I was coming out. His brother knows we talk, but that is all. It really made me feel good when he told me this AM. He told her last night. We still talk every AM from 4-6 and at night from about 6-8. Shary2 7/12/99 12:51 PM I envy you. Keight 7/12/99 12:53 PM That doesn't sound good. Is it the programs or the way "they" are trying to stop you from doing what you do? I certainly wish you being able to beat the odds and making things work. Shary2 7/12/99 12:54 PM There are so many things that it is impossible to put out all the fires at the same time. I jokingly said today that I'm going to take my marbles and go home, and Lynda (our admin gal) said "And just where is that Shary?" Reality check!!! Keight 7/12/99 12:56 PM OOOOOO, please don't envy me. You have so much to be thankful for and no need to ever envy anyone. You are in a gray area right now. But things will work out for you. You are strong and intelligent enough to find all the right solutions. Draw on the Scorpio power you have for strength. That is what you need right now, is to grab hold of your own strength. You scare me when you use the 4 letter E word. Shary2 7/12/99 12:57 PM Sorry. It's just that I miss communicating with Andy. I give myself mixed signals a thousand times a day. Let go. Hold on. Back and forth. Keight 7/12/99 12:59 PM Ouch, the "home" thing was a low blow. You are home wherever you are or choose to be. You are floundering a bit, because all the security has been pulled out from under you. But where you are, is where you are and that is home. You do like I do and confuse yourself with all the what if's. Believe me I thoroughly understand that. I do it so much myself. But you know what? You are the one to always make me look at what I am doing, Keight 7/12/99 1:01 PM and take a good look at what is really important. You are floundering without roots or ties to hold you and it is scary. But you have the strength to find out what Shary wants to do and make it happen. You don't need the ties, and if you do then you need some that are strong enough to be there consistantly. Not like the ones you have had so far. That person is there for you, you just have to get unbusy and find him. Shary2 7/12/99 1:01 PM Joseph was here (Rodona's husband) and he laughed and said for me to just go upstairs :-) I went with the family yesterday to see Star Wars. It was a nice break. Shary2 7/12/99 1:02 PM I don't have a clue where to look. Shary2 7/12/99 1:03 PM I don't know whether I need to let go of andy before I can find someone else, or if I need to find someone else to be able to let go of andy. Shary2 7/12/99 1:03 PM I really do love him, but think I deserve to be treated better. Keight 7/12/99 1:07 PM I have been told to listen to my own advice and now I am telling you the same thing. All the wonderful advice you gave me before, you need to listen to now. The right person will find you, but you need to be available and as far as Andy (who?) goes, Don't worry about which is the horse and which is the buggy, just let whatever happens right now happen. Don't put yourself in such a traumatic spin. Don't try to judge the situation. Shary2 7/12/99 1:08 PM thanks - I know you're right. I'm ok most of the time, but sometimes the sadness just comes over me like a wave and I feel like I'm drowning. Keight 7/12/99 1:09 PM You will go crazy. Relax, write what is in your heart and let it go. Then make yourself open to going places and meeting new people where you are. You said you like the area and want to stay. If that is so, then get acquainted with it and the people. You are beautiful, full of vitality and lots of fun Shary2 7/12/99 1:10 PM I'm working at it. :-) Keight 7/12/99 1:18 PM You are a very strong person. When you get down, draw on that strength. You know you have my love and support. I just wish there were someway I could wrap my hands around and take away the pain and confusion you are feeling. Shary2 7/12/99 1:21 PM Thanks for your support. It means a lot. Keight 7/12/99 1:32 PM Hi, Did you get my email yesterday? I sent it from home. Keight 7/12/99 1:32 PM There was a husband who wore abbreviated shorts without anything under them. When he squatted down to talk to women, he fell out of the leg of the shorts. When he stood up, he looked like he was reaching to shke their hand. It was really funny. The sad thing is that he wasn't particularly good looking either. It was funny, but sort of sad too. His wife didn't speak to him much during the entire day. Keight 7/12/99 1:32 PM You mean a lot to me. You have been able to pull me out of some really low places in my life and I will always be grateful. I wish I could come visit you and we could go out "looking" at/for "men" together. Since we are both foot loose and fancy free. You would have appreciated what I saw yesterday at the Toastmasters Picnic. Keight 7/12/99 2:47 PM Catch you tomorrow. Going home now. Talk to you Tuesday. Only 5 weeks from tomorrow and I will be on my way to Chicago. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. Keight 7/13/99 7:45 AM Hi...How are things this AM? I guess your AM is almost over with by now, since it is almost 9 AM here, it is probably around noon there, Right? Shary2 7/13/99 7:47 AM Hi ... It's 10:45 here and Rodona brought me a giant french vanilla cappuccino this morning. We've been working since 6:00 and things are going much better today. Keight 7/13/99 7:52 AM So, you are only 2 hours ahead of us. I thought you were at least 3, if not 4 hours ahead. The cappucino sounds delish. I found a scrumptious slushie that is 1/2 mocha and 1/2 french vanilla. OH, it is sinfully good. Shary2 7/13/99 7:53 AM we're on central time Keight 7/13/99 7:55 AM So is Mabon. He has a sore just below his navel and went to a surgeon yesterday. It is an absessed stitch from a surgery he had last year and he the doctor tried to remove it yesterday, but couldn't get it. He has to go to the hospital tomorrow and have it removed. He is really sore today from what they did yesterday and not looking forward to having it done again. Shary2 7/13/99 7:56 AM doesn't sound like fun at all Keight 7/13/99 7:57 AM I wish I could be there with him. He needs a ride to and from the hospital, besides it is always nice to have someone waiting when you get out of something like that. Beside, I would just like to be there with him, period. I am really getting excited about going in 5 weeks from today. Shary2 7/13/99 7:58 AM The time will go by so fast. Keight 7/13/99 7:58 AM I sent him a fantasy yeseterday, do you want to read it? If so, I will send it email. Keight 7/13/99 7:59 AM It has already been going by fast. I have already started setting some clothes aside that I am going to take and we have been making plans about what we are going to be doing. It is so much fun. I told him last night, I feel like a teenager getting ready for a first date - excited and scared at the same time. Shary2 7/13/99 8:01 AM That's exactly how I felt in September when I met Andy. He told me when we were together last month that he was scared too that first time. Keight 7/13/99 8:04 AM It is an exciting feeling. Now we are both starting to bring up things that could happen so we are together, but can't make love. I think I told you that the doctor put me on estrogen/progesterone pills? Well, I started my first "spotting" last Tuesday, Sunday it developed into a full blown period and is still a heavy flow. He asked when I would have the next one. (about the time I go to Chicago) I will "strangle" that doctor if that happens Shary2 7/13/99 8:05 AM I don't blame you! Keight 7/13/99 8:06 AM Now he is having this surgery and (right now) can't stand any pressure on it. What if it doesn't get better and we can't do anything. I mean I feel just like a teenager, with all the stupid worries. It is actually fun, though. Keight 7/13/99 8:10 AM Did you want to read the fantasy? I feel so good inside since we have been talking. It is like the person I used to like is starting to peek out. I am having fun with life, people and starting to really feel alive again. Mabon worries about me, he lets me know he cares, not by saying "I care", but in the other little things he says. He lets me open up and say what I am feeling, even when it makes him uncomfortable. Keight 7/13/99 8:16 AM I feel like I can say what is bothering me when there is a problem and he listens and cares and tries to do something about it. That is so strange and new to me. It is really wonderful. I know you and Andy have had some experiences similar to what we are going through. That is one reason I know I can share this with you. Shary2 7/13/99 8:21 AM I was so self-conscious. I had a new sexy teddy that andy had sent me the money for and I was scared to death to put it on. Shary2 7/13/99 8:22 AM yes, by all means, send it Keight 7/13/99 8:34 AM Did he like it? I feel like that with some of the things I am planning on taking. I have a skirt that buttons all the way down the front. I told him about it and he asked if he could unbutton it with his teeth. That really sent butterflies throughout the whole body. I had never even thought of that. I was thinking about just his hands unbuttoning it and that was exciting enough. Keight 7/13/99 8:34 AM I will send it email. Shary2 7/13/99 8:35 AM oh my! with his teeth? that's an interesting picture :-) Shary2 7/13/99 8:36 AM thanks! Keight 7/13/99 8:36 AM I know it really sent me into orbit. I have a teddy. I wonder if he will unsnap it with his teeth? Oh my there go those sily butterflies. I sent the email and as a file because I forget you don't read that file. So I sent it again. Shary2 7/13/99 8:36 AM will read it during a break Shary2 7/13/99 8:38 AM i can read .doc files -- just not some of the others you have sent Keight 7/13/99 8:38 AM You can read it anytime. He hasn't received it yet. I told him I was sending it. He asked if I was trying to get him turned on. I said yes. He said he was going to have to start grabbing women off the street, if I keep it up. I said they wouldn't be half as much fun as me. Shary2 7/13/99 8:39 AM sounds like you 2 have so much fun Keight 7/13/99 8:39 AM Oh. Well, anyway, you have two copies then. Shary2 7/13/99 8:40 AM better than none :-) Keight 7/13/99 8:41 AM We really do. It is amazing that we talk for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night and never run out of things to talk about. We talk about everything from personal things, to politics to sports to animals to whatever. He said we used to do the same thing when we were together before. That is what he liked about our relationship then. Shary2 7/13/99 8:41 AM andy and i did that when we were together, but not now Keight 7/13/99 8:43 AM I guess so. Did I tell you that he finally told his stepdaughter about me coming out and staying with him? He was afraid to tell her because he thought she might be hurt. She gave him her blessings and support. That made him feel better and his telling her made me feel really terrific. It means that he is making a committment of sorts to us. Shary2 7/13/99 8:44 AM yes, you told me and i think it is wonderful Keight 7/13/99 8:45 AM There is that special person for Shary just waiting for the right time to appear. Maybe like a fantasy story, he will be coming around a corner and you will bump into each other and just know that this is it. Or maybe not that corny, but it will happen. Shary2 7/13/99 8:47 AM I think I told you that both david and lin see a relationship for me in TN. But lin said to be careful because i will get involved with someone without knowing he is married, but that there will be someone else who is the right one. Keight 7/13/99 8:47 AM He says he is really starting to look forward to me coming out there, he is making all kinds of plans from what to fix for meals to where to eat out to where to go for rides to sitting by the lake and watching the sunset behind the Chicago skyline. It is really exciting. Keight 7/13/99 8:49 AM No, you didn't tell me that. I feel like that is what will be. I hadn't felt like there would be a married man involved, but I am confident that you will find a "perfect" love for you. You deserve the very best. Shary2 7/13/99 8:50 AM Well, let me act like a pouty little girl for just a minute: I don't want what's best, I want Andy! Now I got that out of my system :-) Keight 7/14/99 8:18 AM That was Cute. I like it when you pout. Then, if you truly WANT Andy, go for him. You don't have to listen to anything anyone else says. You have a lot invested in him, you know what he has to offer, and you know if you can or want to put up with it. One thing is that you CAN'T change him. You can only change how you feel about things. Keight 7/14/99 8:21 AM Good Morning - Just trying to find something to keep my mind busy while waiting to hear how Mabon is doing. He is going to have surgery this AM to remove the infected stitch. I know it isn't really serious surgery, but I still worry, because of all the other problems he has had. Wish I could physically be there with him, but being there in spirit will have to do. Keight 7/15/99 12:20 PM HI...I just sent you a couple of emails because you didn't have ICQ up earlier in the day. Shary2 7/15/99 12:22 PM We're doing a lot of testing today so will be on and offline frequenty. An hour ago I was about ready to move to Portland and spend my middle age taking care of my dad, but things are starting to look up a bit. Keight 7/15/99 12:23 PM Whoa..that must have been pretty bad. Glad things are beginning to look up from there. Seems like the only way to go from there is up. Shary2 7/15/99 12:29 PM I haven't cried today so it must be getting better :-) Keight 7/15/99 12:31 PM That is certainly a positive point. Maybe you can get a small chuckle out of the second email I sent you. It is Dilbert Quotes for Actual office memos or situations. Note the companies involved. Enjoy. Shary2 7/15/99 12:48 PM thanks -- will take a break in a bit and read it Keight 7/15/99 12:51 PM I need to get going. You take care and you will have this computer thing licked in no time. The other "situation" will just have to let time tell. Love you, (((((((((SHARY)))))))) Keight 7/26/99 7:22 AM Hi, Shary - Did you change the way you are spelling your name, or have I always had it wrong? I replied toyour email - (There wasn't anything there.) Shary2 7/26/99 7:30 AM That is my "special acct" and I spelled it differently on purpose since my spelling is rather unique. I meant to forward something. Will send it next time I get in that acct. Keight 7/26/99 7:32 AM OK. I thought that I had mised out on something important. Your name is beautiful, just like the person it represents. How was your weekend? I have received replies from 3 guys from snap.com. hey all seem really nice and we have started sending emails back and forth. One of them has ICQ and so I have him set up too. This is fun. Shary2 7/26/99 7:34 AM I could have gone for a drive around the area with one guy yesterday, but didn't want him to pick me up at home and be in a car with a stranger. We have a coffee date for Wednesday. I'm not real excited about it. Keight 7/26/99 7:49 AM Well, at least it is a start, even if you aren't thrilled with him, it could lead to meeting someone else later on. Let me know how it goes. I don't blame you for not wanting to go for a ride with a stranger. That just isn't safe anymore. Keight 7/26/99 2:48 PM Even thought I am finding "men" to write to, Mabon is still my pick of "druthers". I am not really looking for a permanent relationship, but it would be nice to have someone local to visit with. I can imagine that you feel somewhat the same, except you have the added confusion about where you and Andy are in that relationship. I am going to email you a question I have and it will take more than this window has to offer. Shary2 7/26/99 2:49 PM I found a real cutie on SNAP! I emailed him and he emailed me back asking for my pic. He's only 49 (perfect for me, but might not think I'm perfect for him). Keight 7/26/99 2:51 PM I like snap.com too. I had problems with digitalcity in sending replies. I don't know if it is our server or what. Snap.com has some pretty neat guys though. Your picture is beautiful and if he doesn't like you, he is crazy. Keight 7/26/99 3:53 PM I am meeting him (Kevin) at the Crossroads Restaurant at 8 PM tonight. My stomach is turning inside out, butterflies are all out of formation and I am scared spitless. Shary2 7/26/99 3:53 PM Check this out. http://www.classifieds2000.com/cgi-cls/ad.exe? 144+C180+A0+R3377238+Q254369976 Keight 7/26/99 3:55 PM OK, going there now. Shary2 7/26/99 3:56 PM Have fun. Shary2 7/26/99 3:56 PM Just enjoy yourself. Relax. Take a deep breath. Keight 7/26/99 3:57 PM It says that the url could not be found - host was not found Shary2 7/26/99 3:58 PM drat! Did you paste in both parts? It got split in ICQ I think. Keight 7/26/99 3:59 PM I put in www.classifieds2000.com/cgi-cls/ad.exe?P144+C1 0+A0+R3377238+Q254369976 Is that right? Shary2 7/26/99 3:59 PM did you try it from the url icq i just sent? Keight 7/26/99 4:04 PM Just got there. Give me a second to look....Very nice. But do you want to have more children now? Nice looking, tho. Thanks for the advice about breathing deep, if i can just do it. I am having trouble breathing at all, let alone deep breathes. Shary2 7/26/99 4:05 PM Oh, god, no kids, no way, But I told him that and he still asked for more info. Keight 7/26/99 4:09 PM I didn't think you wanted more kids. Good thing he is still interested. Really looks nice ! ! ! Are you going to meet him? I almost feel like I am going to wet my pants. I talked with Kevin on the phone and he sounds really nice. I am so scared. This is just a friendly meeting, right? He probably won't like me and I won't have to worry about it anymore, right? I need to leave work now. Will talk to you tomorow and let you know what Keight 7/27/99 9:31 AM Good AM to you. Well, I did it. I met "Kevin" and he is really nice. He took me in his car to Zips and we had a drink and talked. We got ther are 8:30 and at 10PM he asked if I knew what time it was. I got home at 10:30 PM. That is so late for me, but it was really fun. He is a nice man, had serious relationship problems and is still dealing with his emotions. Not going to be a relationship, but could be a friendship. Shary2 7/27/99 9:32 AM wonderful! what does he look like? were you comfortable going in the car with him? Keight 7/27/99 9:34 AM He is about 5'7", black hair (he just had died), mustache, goatee, but nicely taken care of. He was so nice. He bought the drinks, laid things out on the table and I felt really comfortable. Yes I felt at ease in his car. I had no "bad vibes" from him, you know? We met at one restaurand, that I didn't know was closed. That is why we went in his car and left mine. Shary2 7/27/99 9:35 AM is he going to call you? Keight 7/27/99 9:36 AM His son said to tell me he was an ax murderer at night and he mentioned that in an email. Well, he said it again as I was going to his car and I said I know, that is why I am just shaking in my boots. Actually he works with the police academy in teaching gun safety. He is extremely intelligent and likes deep conversations about abstract concepts (which I love) It was fun. Shary2 7/27/99 9:37 AM why do you feel it couldn't develop into a relationship? Not that it should, friendship is a valuable thing, but I'm curious why you say that. Keight 7/27/99 9:38 AM Didn't say. We did agree to continue to communicate. We will just have to see what happens. I don't think I am his type and I don't think he is my type, but we can still email and ICQ. See what happens from there. Shary2 7/27/99 9:39 AM sounds like a very nice meeting i'm supposed to have coffee with bob tomorrow but rodona -- and her car -- will be gone not sure what i want to do about that yet Shary2 7/27/99 9:39 AM i just sent andy an email that puts me out on a BIG TIME limb! will send copy to you Keight 7/27/99 9:41 AM He "feels" like he has too much "baggabe" to get rid of. He is still in love with a woman who dumped him and totally destroyed his heart. He has a lot to process to get rid of that and I don't want to deal with it in a relationship Keight 7/27/99 9:41 AM Would love to see your email to Andy Shary2 7/27/99 9:43 AM sending it now -- we have had almost no "personal" communication for days -- feels distant and strained i'm tired of being on an emotional roller coaster so decided to give it one last shot and see how he deals with it setting myself up here, and I know it, but it's kinda like pulling a tooth :-) Keight 7/27/99 9:52 AM So he as two chances, slim and none,,,is that what I am hearing? If he says yes, what are you going to do? Cut it off or carry a torch? And if he CAN'T get there? or doensn't WANT to? You really are setting yourself up. Shary2 7/27/99 9:56 AM there's a chance he won't be able to get away for quite awhile but i didn't put any time limit on it any response is going to be a better indicator of how he feels than anything i've gotten lately if he says he doesn't want to, then that's that if he can't then i won't really know if it's real or an excuse, but we'll see how he responds it's time to shake it up a bit Keight 7/27/99 9:58 AM You absolutely right. I know it must be driving you crazy. It would me. You know I support you and I truly hope he is "the" right guy for you and will respond the most positively for you both. Shary2 7/27/99 9:59 AM it's dying by attrition right now -- both of us distancing because the other is, I think this should bring some life -- or death -- to it seeing him in vegas is not the issue, really -- just a vehicle Keight 7/27/99 10:00 AM You know I said that 3 guys responded to my answers to their ads? I met one last night and one of the other two wants me to go to Cabo San Lucas in January. He has such a sense of humor. Keight 7/27/99 10:00 AM That is true. You certainly need closure if that is the way it is going to go. Or something positive to hang on to if it is meant to be. Shary2 7/27/99 10:02 AM I've been terrified of pushing it because i'm scared it will end, but i know that it is useless, harmfull, and ultimately more painful to hang on if there is nothing to hang on to. So today i took the bull by the balls so to speak. Keight 7/27/99 10:08 AM I bet that BULL said OUCH. You are so right. And it is best to know what is going on so you can get on with your life. I know you can't really get serious about meeting someone else until you resolve this with him. Tell me more about Bob, speaking of meeting others. Can you take a bus to some place where you can meet him? Or even a taxi? Shary2 7/27/99 10:11 AM I'm not very excited about him, but he does seem to have a good sense of humor. He's fun to chat with for a few minutes. He's 57, 5'8 or 9 I think, fairly slim, not good looking, but not butt-ugly :-) That's how andy described himself to me before we met. He said "I'm no god, but I'm not butt-ugly either." Keight 7/27/99 10:14 AM But you like his BUTT so it can't be too ugly. Well, maybe Bob could at least be a friend and you may meet someone else through him. But you can't really be free to get to know him, with Andy in the background. Keight 7/27/99 12:34 PM Those are just way too funny. Thank you so much for sharing them with me. I have already shared them with half the word. Leet me know if and when Andy replies to your email. Shary2 7/27/99 12:35 PM I sure will. We've had more communication today than in a long time. All business but it feels better than it has recently. It's almost as if I can feel his energy sometimes through the computer, more than what he says. Keight 7/27/99 12:37 PM That is a true connection. If he turned you down and breaks off, I want you to remember what you did with David....untie all the cords. You need to do that wiht Andy, but probably even more so. With David some of the cords had been undone some years before. With Andy all the cords are tight. Shary2 7/27/99 12:40 PM yes, they are Keight 7/27/99 12:43 PM That will be the only way to really release him, that and untying your cords from him. But let's hope it doesn't come to that. You still seem like you "belong" together, whatever that means. Remember that you have been told about the differences you and he have to work through. Shary2 7/27/99 12:45 PM I'm going to be here alone for the next couple of days so this is probably a very good time or a very bad time to do this :-) Keight 7/27/99 12:48 PM If he answers positively, it should be great. If not, it could be torture. You can always call me on my cell phone and talk 509) 951 3544. It is on most of the day. I turn it off at night when I get home, which is usually quite late (just before I go to bed). Dawn moved out last night. She has her own apartment and took her bed and clothes and stayed there. It sure is nice. She will finish moving this weekend. Shary2 7/27/99 12:49 PM glad to hear that :-) Keight 7/27/99 12:50 PM Me too. I even sang in the shower this AM because no one but me and the dogs would hear me. (I sing terrible) Keight 7/27/99 1:07 PM Have you decided what you are going to do about going to meet Bob tomorrow? Shary2 7/27/99 1:08 PM nope -- forgot all about it! guess I better do something :-) Keight 7/27/99 1:10 PM Let me know what you decide. Shary2 7/27/99 1:11 PM I am leaning toward to letting him pick me up here and going someplace close for coffee. My pendulum says I will be safe with him but I will not enjoy his company much. Keight 7/27/99 1:13 PM I found that my instincts have been pretty good up to now. I think you have the same good insticnts, probably even better. Go with what you feel. Shary2 7/27/99 3:01 PM well? Keight 7/28/99 8:10 AM Hi, I am back up and "running" Shary2 7/28/99 8:12 AM Now, I don't remember what I was going to respond to your email :-) Keight 7/28/99 8:13 AM Oops, that's a bummer. Sorry for the interruption. Open your mouth and stick out your tongue........No I can't see it there either. You must have swallowed it. Just wait until you "burp" and it will be there again. Shary2 7/28/99 8:14 AM hahaha Keight 7/28/99 8:15 AM Thought that would get a chuckle from you. Good to see you laugh. I shared that swim suit story with so many people so far. It was absolutely hilarious. I still laugh over it. Shary2 7/28/99 8:15 AM I know what it was. I just gave Bob directions so I'm committed now. Oh, well, at least he has a convertible :-) Should be a nice break. I'll definitely let you know. Shary2 7/28/99 8:16 AM Got something else from Lin this morning that I'll forward to you. She sends the best stuff! Keight 7/28/99 8:17 AM CONVERTIBLE ! ! ! ! How come you are so lucky? I'd go no matter what he was like, just to ride in the convertible. I am still trying to get Harry (my boss) to take me for a ride in his fire engine red volkswagen convertible. Shary2 7/28/99 8:19 AM This is a dark blue Honda Del Sol. If nothing else, that will make it worthwhile. I'm going to take a 15-minute pool break before it gets any hotter and then shower and do my hair. Be back in awhile. Keight 7/28/99 8:20 AM You are beautiful just like you are. How hot is it there? We are getting up into the high 90's today (98 I think) and it is hot here. Have fun. TTYL Keight 7/28/99 1:11 PM Welcome back How was it? Shary2 7/28/99 1:12 PM boring Keight 7/28/99 1:13 PM Too bad. How was the car? Was that at least worth it? Shary2 7/28/99 1:13 PM We did not have a conversation -- we just took turns talking. Shary2 7/28/99 1:13 PM Nope, it started to rain before he got here and he had the top up. Shary2 7/28/99 1:15 PM The only times we came close was when I responded to something he said and gave him an opening to say something else. He was better looking than the picture, looks very much like Robin Williams, but did not enjoy the hour and a half. Made myself give it that much time since he drove almost an hour to get here. Keight 7/28/99 1:19 PM Well, at least you know. He was probably so dumb-struck by your beauty that he couldn't think straight. You certainly did more than necessary to get the ball rolling. So far I have been lucky, because one of the guys I have been communicating with is such a kick. The one I met, will not be anything and that is OK. The third one hasn't written anything today, but I had been getting an email daily from him. But he sometimes writes later Shary2 7/28/99 1:20 PM I just got a letter from a guy that sounds fascinating! I'll forward his letter to you. And if I can find his pic, I'll send it to you or send you the link. I think I found him on SNAP. Keight 7/28/99 1:20 PM in the day. Don't know much about him. But Butch called me last night and we talked for an hour on the cell phones before I realized how long it had been. And we have been "talking" all day today. He is pretty neat. If only one of the three turns out to be a good friend, then it is worth it. Keight 7/28/99 1:21 PM That SNAP is pretty neat, I think Shary2 7/28/99 1:23 PM go check your email -- the pic is there with the letter Keight 7/28/99 1:24 PM Will do. I have to look something up for "boss" and then will check the email. TTYL Keight 7/28/99 1:27 PM Nnnnniiiicccceeee looking man. Haven't read the letter yet, will do that in a minute or so. Shary2 7/28/99 1:29 PM Let me know what you think after you read the letter. I'm going to try to find his original ad that I answered. Keight 7/28/99 1:30 PM OK, I will let you know Shary2 7/28/99 1:31 PM I haven't even read it all yet. Did a quick skim, wrote him a brief note and sent my pic, and said I'd write more this evening. Keight 7/28/99 1:32 PM Now I will be able to get back to it. Keight 7/28/99 2:36 PM He sounds scruptious. He is intelligent, handsome, cultured, well traveled and sounds like he knows how to have fun. Shary2 7/28/99 2:37 PM Andy and I are having an ICQ fight right now. Grrrrrrr! Shary2 7/28/99 2:39 PM very interesting he is sure pushing my buttons - and very much on purpose - but it's basically a good conversation, I think Keight 7/28/99 2:41 PM So what is he looking for? Shary2 7/28/99 2:42 PM will get back to you getting intense, but it is ok Keight 7/28/99 2:43 PM OK Shary2 7/28/99 2:47 PM we're mixing business and personal and it is crazy and we are fighting but I think it is productive as hell !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I HATE to fight Shary2 7/28/99 2:52 PM it's calming down now -- he said if no one pushes on me I am not at my best and he has appointed himself to be the pusher -- we're starting to relax a bit :-) Keight 7/28/99 2:55 PM wow, what is going on....I can feel the energy all the way over here. Let me know how you feel when it is all over with. Shary2 7/29/99 1:16 AM so far I feel pretty good and it is getting better - I think Keight 7/29/99 9:08 AM So how did you and Andy end up your "conversation"? I had problems with the system yesterday, just when we were chatting. I had to take it down, up, down, up, down and still didn't get it fixed. They are working on it now. But at least ICQ works. Keight 7/29/99 9:09 AM I can't get into Outlook to pull up my emails and I know there are some there. Shary2 7/29/99 9:09 AM We icq'd off and on most of the day. It ended on a positive note and we've already had some communication today. He is finally sleeping now. Shary2 7/29/99 9:09 AM I have to run next door and tend to my laundry. Be back in about 15 minutes. Keight 7/29/99 9:10 AM Glad to hear that. I am still voting for you to be together. But whatever you choose, I will support. I only want for you what is best for you. But I like the relationship you have with Andy, when you can have one. Keight 7/29/99 9:10 AM TTYL Shary2 7/29/99 9:19 AM I found a nice thing with Bob -- so it wasn't a total loss. I think we can enjoy sharing jokes by email. Keight 7/29/99 9:22 AM That sounds like fun. I like just keeping in touch via email with a couple of the guys. (that is if the email were working), which right now it isn't. They had the server at 100% of capacity this AM. They are trying to get it fixed now. Keight 7/29/99 10:45 AM Have you gone back in to look for any other snap.com ads? That Gene realy sounds terrific. Have you contacted him anymore? Keep me posted about him. Did I tell you I am meeting "Butch" on saturday for a picnic at a lake? He is in a wheel chair, which mean nothing about him, but he has the same type of sense of humor as I do. He is really fun to talk with both on email and in person on the phone. Keight 7/29/99 10:48 AM It is still no competition for Mabon. He is right now, number one in my heart. I guess I am pretty much of a one-man woman. I wrote to Mabon today that he needs to really think about what he wants, because when I leave there on the 22nd I want to know where I stand. Do I look for someone else or will he and I be together? We will see what happens. Keight 7/29/99 10:50 AM Butch wants me to go to Cabo San Luis in January with him and down to California (one day soon). He knows I am going to Chicago to visit Mabon, but I haven't yet said why or what our relationship is. Not sure I will say until I get back. It may not be necessary to say anything. He has a 16 year old daughter and an 18 year old son, just divorced his wife of 19 years. Shary2 7/29/99 10:53 AM I wrote a nice long letter to Gene and sent my pic but haven't heard back from him. I haven't had time to look at any ads the last couple of days. Shary2 7/29/99 10:54 AM It sounds like you are making some nice contacts. Keight 7/29/99 10:58 AM I think I have been very lucky with the ones I have met so far. Is it this week that Rodona is gone or next week? Shary2 7/29/99 11:03 AM They'll be back home tonight. Keight 7/29/99 11:12 AM So you have had some time alone with them gone? Did you use some of the time for SHARY? Shary2 7/29/99 11:13 AM I doubt that andy and I would have had the breakthru we had yesterday if i had not been alone. Keight 7/29/99 11:14 AM Glad that happened like it did. Need to go to lunch. be back soon. Keight 7/29/99 1:38 PM Welcome back Shary2 7/29/99 1:39 PM was I gone? Keight 7/29/99 1:40 PM you were off icq when I got back and you just came back up? don't you remember being gone. I thought I was forgetful. Shary2 7/29/99 1:45 PM i don't even know if I'm confused Keight 7/29/99 1:46 PM Me either. What's up? Shary2 7/29/99 1:46 PM I haven't heard from Andy yet so I hope he's still sleeping. Keight 7/29/99 1:48 PM You sound a bit worried. Did you two say anything about your email to him? I mean did you get that straightened out? Shary2 7/29/99 1:54 PM I'm not worried. I really hope he is sleeping. He was going to set the alarm for 4 hours and do more work on our server but he has been a zombie for days. We haven't talked about when or where. He won't want to even think about it until he has the servers working the way they need to. Keight 7/29/99 1:55 PM Then he is really trying to help you guys get back up and running, besides his regular job? That would be enough to make someone sleep a good long time. Shary2 7/29/99 1:56 PM He is spending 3 to 4 hours a day getting us set up. That won't continue. But we will still need him for some tech support. He is not charging us a thing, and he turned down $5000 a month from someone for the same thing. Keight 7/29/99 2:16 PM Wow, that is super terrific of him. But do you think he has a vested interest in helping you? Shary2 7/29/99 2:23 PM I think he wants me to be successful - that seems to be important to him. Keight 7/29/99 2:32 PM That is probably because he is such a workaholic himself that he "needs" you to be successful to keep his respect for you. That may not sound exactly like I mean it, but it is like if you are successful, you share the same work ethics he has that is important to him. Does that make any more sense? Shary2 7/29/99 2:41 PM That does make some sense. He has said from the beginning -- when I was still with David -- that he wants to see me be financially independent. And he knows I have the ability so he gets very hard on me when he thinks I'm not working smart. Keight 7/29/99 2:43 PM And if you are financially independent in your own right, then he wan't have any reason to think or feel that you are just after his financial securities. Has he ever had someone try to take him to the cleaners, financially? It sounds almost like he has. Shary2 7/29/99 2:44 PM I don't think that's it. He just wants to see me strong. He must care a lot to put so much effort into it :-) Keight 7/29/99 2:45 PM That is how I feel. But doesn't it make sense that if you are financially secure, you wouldn't be after him for his money? You would be after him for him. That could be very important to him, to know it is truly him you want and not his money. Shary2 7/29/99 2:47 PM I don't think he feels I have any serious interest in his money. He is very secure in my love for him. Shary2 7/29/99 2:48 PM But he wants me to feel successful and good about me. Keight 7/29/99 2:55 PM Well, I could be reading this all wrong. I am sure you know better than anyone. It was just an observation (or actually feeling) based on some of the things you have said. I am not sure exactly which things it was even. Well, like I said, I support you at all times no matter what you decide to do with or without Andy. You are too special of a person to see someone hurt you at all. Shary2 7/29/99 2:57 PM Time will tell -- maybe :-) For now I'm feeling very good about him. How long will it last this time? Rhetorical quesion. Keight 7/29/99 3:17 PM Right....I got to go give a man a jump....his car just died. bye Keight 7/30/99 8:43 AM Hey, Hi. Keight 8/1/99 8:28 AM Good Morning...Dawn and I are going to breakfast and when I get back will you be available to talk? Shary2 8/1/99 8:29 AM give me a shout -- I'm sure I will be. Keight 8/1/99 8:30 AM Terrific...talk to you then, Got lots to tell you. Dawn says "HI" Shary2 8/1/99 8:30 AM Hi to her 2! Anxious to hear. Keight 8/1/99 8:31 AM Great...back in a short Shary2 8/23/99 8:36 AM can't open chat -- you try Keight 8/23/99 8:37 AM OK Keight 8/23/99 10:06 AM Sorry I had to go, but Kay came in and wanted to tell about how it was here, how she has been and then find out about my trip. We have been talking this whole time. She just left my office. It sounds like you have met a couple of mneat guys. But be sure to go with your gut instincts, when you think there is something gone awry with any of them. Just have fun and see what happens from there. That is what I am doing. Shary2 8/23/99 10:07 AM so fill me in -- been thinking about you all week Keight 8/23/99 10:10 AM It will be easier if I put it on an email (more room) than on these short screens. But the gist of it is that Mabon and I will always be friends and that is all. And Butch is meeting the girl he has been corresponding with for the past year and may choose her over me. So who knows what will be happening in the near future. But I will put the details in an email for you. It isn't all as simple as it looks. Shary2 8/23/99 10:13 AM I'm listen for my "You've Got Mail!" eagerly. Keight 8/23/99 10:13 AM It is coming. Shary2 8/23/99 10:14 AM thanks! will save comments till I read it. Shary2 8/23/99 10:17 AM tell me when you send it :-) just in case it doesn't call me Keight 8/23/99 10:19 AM Will do. Keight 8/26/99 8:29 PM Hey, Girlfriend.....What's up? Keight 8/26/99 8:32 PM You are up really late (by your time) aren't you? Or maybe you are just doing some mailing and it looks like you are on ICQ...It is 9:20 here now. I just got home from Toastmasters and was checking my email. Boy, I had a ton of it. Haven't checked it since before leaving for Chicago. Keight 8/30/99 9:17 AM I sent you an email earlier...just to remind you to send the info on Andy and Cordell Keight 8/30/99 11:29 AM Did you send me an ICQ URL? Shary2 8/30/99 11:37 AM no, i sure didn't Keight 8/30/99 11:39 AM Someone sent me an ICQ sex.net URL and I thought it might be from you. Pictures of one of the guys you are contacting. I don't recognize the ICQ number but thought it may have come from one of your other accounts I don't have on my list. I have no idea where it came from. I guess I will delete it. It didn't work anyway. Thanks for letting me know it wasn't you. Shary2 8/30/99 11:42 AM there is a program that some of the porm mailers use to send icq messages -- i get them all the time and just delete all incoming url's unless they come from someone on my contact list sorry i've been so busy today -- not going to slow down for awhile either Keight 8/30/99 11:42 AM That's OK...Thank you for the information.. Whenever you are free, let me know. Keight 8/30/99 6:58 PM Hi, it is pretty late there isn't it??? I was just going to go to bed. I am still talking with Butch for a minute or so longer Shary2 8/30/99 6:59 PM Yep, It's 10 and i'm beat tonight. Will send pic of cordell tomorrow and maybe talk about the thing with andy. Keight 8/30/99 7:01 PM Sounds good to me....Get some sleep tonight Shary2 8/30/99 7:02 PM nite Keight 8/30/99 7:03 PM Good night and sleep sweet pretty lady..... Keight 8/31/99 6:54 PM Hi - Are you online???? I know you must be busy. Keight 9/1/99 8:47 AM Hey, Hi - I sent you anICQ last night from home, but you didn't respond before I went to bed. How are things going for you? I hear you talked with Butch for a bit. He thinks you are really special, to be such a good friend of mine. I think so too. Thank you. Shary2 9/1/99 8:47 AM I told him we'd been there for each other a time or two. Keight 9/1/99 8:48 AM He was impressed by you tho. What did you want to tell me last night? Shary2 9/1/99 8:49 AM talking with andy now -- will get back to you asap Keight 9/1/99 8:49 AM That's fine...TTYL Shary2 9/1/99 1:20 PM I had a quick icq exchange with andy. Nothing important. He's meeting Rodona at the airport in a few hours. I'm trying to get a lot of organizing done before she gets back tomorrow night. Wish you were here to help me :-) Shary2 9/1/99 1:20 PM Hi -- I'm taking a lunch break in front of the computer. Keight 9/1/99 1:30 PM I would love to be able to help you .... that was always fun for me... I miss it...So what is going on with you and Andy??? I know you have been talking business, but you said there was more than that too. And what about the rest of your romantic life? Shary2 9/1/99 1:31 PM testing Keight 9/1/99 1:31 PM OK...do you still want to chat? Shary2 9/1/99 1:32 PM yep if you have a few minutes Keight 9/1/99 1:32 PM OK...waiting for you to reply then Shary2 9/1/99 1:34 PM hang on -- going to different computer Keight 9/1/99 1:34 PM OK...do you want me to initate a chat session? Shary2 9/1/99 1:34 PM try it Keight 9/1/99 1:35 PM OK Here goes... Keight 9/2/99 5:49 PM HI, Did you get my earlier email before I left work? Shary2 9/2/99 5:51 PM Yes. Would you like to call me for a quick 5-minute update before I go next door to watch a movie with Joseph. I can't type fast enough to tell you what a slimy son of a bitch Andy is. Keight 9/2/99 5:51 PM Sure...Give me the number again. Shary2 9/2/99 5:52 PM 931-431-6711 Keight 9/8/99 11:55 AM Hey there, Hi there, Ho there....I see you just logged onto ICQ...What is going on in your world? Shary2 9/8/99 11:56 AM I've been on the other computer all day -- sent you an ICQ from there. Shary2 9/8/99 11:56 AM How are you doing today? Keight 9/8/99 11:58 AM You sent one from Shary?? I didn't receive it. I don't have ASPEN on this ICQ list, if you sent it from ASPEN...I am OK today...I emailed Butch and we have agreed to talk either on the phone or face to face. I told him how I felt about the TRUST being broken and that we could remain friends. Anything else would have to be rebuilt, if that is possible. I said I just don't know at this point if it can. Shary2 9/8/99 11:58 AM How did he respond? Shary2 9/8/99 12:01 PM Remember that TRUST is a crucial factor in FRIENDSHIP, too. Andy wrote me an email telling me he'd like for us to remain friends. I wrote back and said, "Andy, I look forward to a continued business relationship. Shary" Keight 9/8/99 12:02 PM He said he never should have said that he didn't know if he loved me, because he does love me very much, but he has cold feet about what to do about it. So we have agreed to talk and see what can be worked out. He didn't want to do it on email or ICQ. I told him that he would have to make the call as to when and how we talk. Now it is up to him, Shary2 9/8/99 12:03 PM No, it is still up to you. Do not give him that much control as to say it is up to him. Keight 9/8/99 12:05 PM Good for you. He was really a creep toward you and deserves nothing more than that. You are so strong I just have to admire that in you... Maybe I am being weak in talking with him, but I really don't want to totally lose him either. I still love him. Maybe if he had done something like what Andy had done, I would be able to say screw it too and let it go. But right now, I just can't do that. Shary2 9/8/99 12:05 PM I understand. I let Andy play his games with me for a full year. I am not being critical of you. Just hoping maybe some of what I've learned will help you too. Keight 9/8/99 12:06 PM I don't think of it as giving him control so much as making him responsible for the contact. I think that if he wants to talk then he should take the action as to when and how we do that. I admire his not wanting to do it on ICQ or email because of the impersonal part of it. Shary2 9/8/99 12:07 PM Yes, I definitely agree. Keight 9/8/99 12:07 PM I am keeping in mind what happened to you while this is going on. Isn't it amazing how things have happened with us, so many like circumstances at around the same times???? Shary2 9/8/99 12:08 PM Yes, it is. Very interesting. Shary2 9/8/99 12:09 PM I don't feel he is like Andy, but you are a lot like me. Take control of your own life. We've let other people pull our strings for way too long. Keight 9/8/99 12:09 PM I don't feel like I have responsibility in this situation, and it is compleetely up to him to resolve it. I have the final say as to whether or not I agree or want to get back to anything more than friendship. And I will definitely exercise that right. But he needs to take the action as to communicating about it. Shary2 9/8/99 12:10 PM Let me know what he does. Have you heard from Mabon? Keight 9/8/99 12:11 PM That is SO true. I swore that I would NEVER be in a relationship where I felt unloved or unwanted. And I Won't. But if this is a misunderstanding, then I want to at least give it a chance to work out. If I feel like I am being jerked around, I won't continue with this at all. I have stepped back and taken a look at how I feel and why and what I need and want to make it any different. He will have to provide the changes or it won't work. Keight 9/8/99 12:15 PM He called Sunday night to tell me that he broke is pinkie finger playing "Run the Bases" with some kids and adults half his age. I told him he was too old for that kind of "shit" and he agreed. That is about all we talked about. He told me what he had been doing, never asked about my weekend or what I had been doing. So it was left at that. He is still a friend and Jeff's GodFather. He didn't say anything about enjoying my visit or anything Shary2 9/8/99 12:16 PM What was the real reason for his call? Keight 9/8/99 12:18 PM Just to tell me he had broken his little finger....That was the first thing out of his mouth and we talked about it for quite a while. Then we talked about other things he has been doing. He likes to talk about himself. Why do you ask? Shary2 9/8/99 12:19 PM It's just interesting that he didn't ask about you or mention your visit. I guess he just needed a listener. Keight 9/8/99 12:21 PM I think that is all he has ever needed. Someone to listen to him talk other than his dog. He gets really lonely (not just lonesome). He needs someone to talk to not with. Shary2 9/8/99 12:22 PM I met a guy like that, remember? I went out for coffee with him -- never talked to him again. Keight 9/8/99 12:25 PM Yeah, I remember...but it is hard not to talk to Vic's cousin and Jeff's GodFather. I just have become his listener and know there is nothing more than that there,. I am OK with that. I know other people have needs and if I can be there for him, just that much then it is OK with me. Shary2 9/8/99 12:27 PM I didn't mean you shouldn't talk to him. It is a very different situation. It's just that it reminded me of that guy. Don't even remember his name. Keight 9/8/99 12:32 PM I don't remember his name either. Men can sure be a pain in the rear at times. Why can't we just find the right guy the first time and not have to go through all this rig-a-ma-roll??? I know there is supposed to be some fun in the process, but I don't think that hurt feelings, being used, and all the other "shit" shouldn't be a part of it because it isn't fun. Maybe there are lessons to be learned, but I can do without some of them. Shary2 9/8/99 12:33 PM yes, me too Keight 9/8/99 12:34 PM So, what about Cordell? He brought your cards back to you and then what has happened since then? Shary2 9/8/99 12:37 PM He cracked his head open last night. Had to go to the clinic but didn't need stitches. Has been sleeping most of the day. Gets up every few hours to take more aspirin and IM me. He is so sweet. Keight 9/8/99 12:42 PM How on earth did he crack his head open? If he is sleeping that may not be good. Don't they say not to sleep after you hit your head because it could be a sign of concussion? Shary2 9/8/99 4:11 PM Look at what I sent Cordell. http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box6849d/zx 7fvdhdzeaknb.htm Keight 9/8/99 4:13 PM That is so cute. I bet he really enjoyed it, but do you think it made him laugh so hard it made his head hurt worse?? Shary2 9/8/99 4:13 PM Oh, dear, I didn't think of that! :-) Keight 9/8/99 4:14 PM It is just my weird sense of visuals.....I bet he really liked it. Did he reply back? Shary2 9/8/99 4:16 PM Yes, I've talked with him a couple of times since then. He's feeling better, but it still hurts. Keight 9/8/99 4:18 PM I imagine it will hurt for a while.. Is he staying awake any longer? That would worry me, because I always heard not to let anyone who has injured their head go to sleep because they can go into a coma. Maybe there isn't anything to that, though. Shary2 9/8/99 4:19 PM A doctor told me that's an old wives tale. That was when one of my kids got hurt. Keight 9/8/99 4:22 PM That is what I meant. Sometimes, we hear things like that and never know if it is real or not. I am glad it is a wives tale and not a problem. With you sending him cards like that, it may take him longer to get better, though. If not from the laughing making it hurt more then from the love of the attention. Really, though that was a very nice thing for you to do. I am only being smart assed. You are always very thoughtful. Shary2 9/8/99 4:25 PM I think he's coming tomorrow to take me on some errands. I said I'd take him to lunch. Keight 9/8/99 4:29 PM That is pretty neat. Even though he is not feeling up to snuff, he is taking you on errands and then you are going to lunch. He must really like you a lot. Do you think that a little of what you feel about Cordell could be what Butch is feeling about me. That he isn't ready for a serious relationship and that he is not ready for my love? It almost sounds similar. Shary2 9/8/99 4:32 PM I like Cordell, have fun with him, enjoy the attention, and have given some consideration to going to bed with him. But I hope Butch feels more than that for you. I have never told Cordell I want any kind of serious relationship. Cordell is so sweet, but he is not the brightest guy I've ever been with. We don't have enough in common to have a lasting anything. But for now we can have fun together. Shary2 9/8/99 4:33 PM I'm worried about him getting hurt, but if he starts to get too serious I'll just have to break it off. Shary2 9/8/99 4:44 PM I'm worried about him getting hurt, but if he starts to get too serious I'll just have to break it off. Shary2 9/8/99 4:44 PM I don't mean to sound cold about it at all. If I didn't really like him I wouldn't spend time with him. But I don't want a long-term relationship with him. Keight 9/8/99 4:45 PM Sorry Netcom went down again...I hate that.. Keight 9/8/99 4:47 PM I understand what you are saying....I just thought I saw a glint of maybe what Butch is feeling....That is not to say I am right. I guess I am just clutching at straws, because I really don't KNOW what he is feeling and thinking. Anyway, I think you and Cordell can have a lot of fun together and you should. As long as he is treating you so nicely, why not? Shary2 9/8/99 4:47 PM I want to be very, very certain that I don't treat anyone, ever, the way Andy treated me. Keight 9/8/99 4:49 PM You won't...You can be sure of that....it isn't a part of who you are. He is an asshole and was from the beginning. It was just hard to see because you don't have that quality in you (and neither do I) so we didn't pick up on it. You would never do anything like that to anyone. I think that our backgrounds almost guarantee that too. (REIKI and metaphysics) Shary2 9/8/99 4:51 PM There is no question that Cordell wants to take me to bed, but he has been understanding. I told him I'm just not ready. Keight 9/8/99 4:53 PM It is great that he respects that. It shows that he really is a gentleman. That is hard to find these days. Shary2 9/8/99 4:54 PM He even said if I want to stay with him the night before I catch the plane for Portland, he'll let me have his waterbed and he'll use the guest room. He works nights, but is able to be home between calls. Keight 9/8/99 4:55 PM What a neat thing to do. When are you going to Portland? I forgot. Shary2 9/8/99 4:56 PM On the 23rd. Keight 9/8/99 4:59 PM for how long? Are you excited? Is your Dad OK? I wish you could come to Spokane or I could come to Portland and have a quick visit. Man, I miss seeing you. Too bad we can't just teleport to wherever we want to be and visit whenever we want to. Shary2 9/8/99 5:00 PM Wouldn't that be nice? I'll be there from Thursday till Tuesday but we'll be at the beach Friday thru Mon. That's really what I'm going for. Keight 9/8/99 5:01 PM Are you going to watch the whales? Shary2 9/8/99 5:02 PM They are frequently there this time of year. And Depot Bay is a whale watching spot. I certainly hope to see them. Keight 9/8/99 5:07 PM If you can, take some photos I would like to see them if you can get them to sit still long enough to photographed, What a wonderful trip you will have. Did I tell you I have 4 other guys I am emailing (from personal ads), just since this last weekend? Shary2 9/8/99 5:07 PM No, you didn't. Are they all in your area? Shary2 9/8/99 5:08 PM Russ just sent me a picture. I'm downloading it now. Keight 9/8/99 5:12 PM Yes. (1)Tom who is a contractor that builds two homes per year and then does odd jobs the rest of the time, has 2 teen daughters and 2 dogs, a cockatiel, tarantula, snake and he isn't sure what else. He seems really nice. (2) Ron who has a dog and hasn't said what he does for a living, but likes honesty and openness and it doesn't matter about looks. (3) Mike who just went to OR to do re-enactments of 1800 war times Keight 9/8/99 5:15 PM at a fort and he should be getting back in town tonight and I should hear how that went. (4) Mike Sturgis who is retired Navy / Postal employee and rebuilds cars for shows. He is working on a baby blue and white Ford Convert that he said he would take me for a ride in. He is leaving tomorrow for a couple of weeks for Oakland and then RENO for a vintage plane air show. He has no children and seems really nice. Shary2 9/8/99 5:16 PM What a pleasant sounding bunch of guys. Keight 9/8/99 5:17 PM (5) Aybars from Turkey that started ICQing me a while back has gotten ahold of me again. It has been fun and get a little confusing at times when I am talking with several different people all at once and can't remember what I said to who on the last ICQ or email. I have started printing out the emails so I can remember what I last said to each person. There are so many different thoughts going on at once. You know how that is. Shary2 9/8/99 5:19 PM confusing, but fun Keight 9/8/99 5:20 PM They are all nice guys, so far. Of course, I haven't met any of them. The one retired guy I have talked to the most on ICQ. He has a great sense of humor, is 52, loves to travel, hopes to see every state before he can't travel any more, takes photos and wants to have the beautiful memories when he can't travel. He is just starting to use the computer internet and has trouble typing at times, but he is a lot of fun to talk with. Keight 9/8/99 5:20 PM I knew you knew what I meant. Shary2 9/8/99 5:20 PM Want to see Russ? Keight 9/8/99 5:21 PM You bet I do. Shary2 9/8/99 5:21 PM I'm going to send the file by icq. It'a a bmp. Let's see if this works. Keight 9/8/99 5:22 PM OK Shary2 9/8/99 5:26 PM It's acting stuck. Keight 9/8/99 5:26 PM I see that...do you want to resend it? Shary2 9/8/99 5:27 PM yes Keight 9/8/99 5:30 PM The testing came thru, but my message didn't go out and the file is stuck...do you want me to cancel it and you can retry? Keight 9/8/99 5:36 PM I hope Netcom doesn't time out again.. I don't know what I can do to make it not do that. Shary2 9/8/99 5:40 PM Is it hung again? Keight 9/8/99 5:40 PM It looks like it stuck again Shary2 9/8/99 5:40 PM Drat. Can you open pictures at your netcom address? Keight 9/8/99 5:41 PM Yes, because Butch has sent me some,,,his are jpg files. does that make a difference? Shary2 9/8/99 5:42 PM a .bmp should be ok. Is it kschaff@ix.netcom.com? Keight 9/8/99 5:42 PM the address is correct. Shary2 9/8/99 5:43 PM ok ... I'll icq you when it finishes uploading. Keight 9/8/99 5:43 PM OK Shary2 9/8/99 5:44 PM about 2 minutes Keight 9/8/99 5:44 PM OK Shary2 9/8/99 5:47 PM It has been sent. Let me know what you think. Keight 9/8/99 5:47 PM Where did you send it? Shary2 9/8/99 5:48 PM kschaff@ix.netcom.com Keight 9/8/99 5:48 PM OK...that is where I am looking now. It is just coming in. Shary2 9/8/99 5:48 PM ok Keight 9/8/99 5:49 PM I will let you know when it gets here. Shary2 9/8/99 5:49 PM ok Keight 9/8/99 5:51 PM I like that one too. He almost reminds me of the dad on Happy Days (Can't think of his name) Shary2 9/8/99 5:52 PM I know who you mean though. His friends tell him he looks like a chubby Robert Wagner. Keight 9/8/99 5:52 PM He looks gentle and kind. Well, I guess that could be too. What do you think of him? Shary2 9/8/99 5:54 PM He seems quite nice. He works at a bank. Has been there for 35 years. He is 58 years old. He's short - only 5'8" and weighs 190. His wife died of cancer 2 years ago after 30-some years of marriage. He loves to dance. Keight 9/8/99 5:56 PM Why is 5'8" short? Do you like taller men? I like them about the same height maybe a little taller. Although some of the guys I have been talking to are around 6', so I guess I shouldn't say a thing. Shary2 9/8/99 5:56 PM 5'10" is perfect for me. Cordell is 5'9" and that is comfortable. I don't like to dance with anyone over 5'11" or 6' at the most. Keight 9/8/99 5:57 PM He sounds like a really nice guy and looks like he could be really a lot of fun too, as well as kind and gentle. Shary2 9/8/99 5:58 PM I may see him this weekend. Keight 9/8/99 5:59 PM Is he the new one? What might you do this weekend? Whatever it is I am sure it will be fun. Shary2 9/8/99 6:00 PM I want to go to Riverfest -- music, food booths, crafts -- at the riverside park. He wants to go with me but may have to go to Chattannoga to see his daughter. If he can't go I might ask Tom, the C/W dance teacher. Keight 9/8/99 6:03 PM That sounds like a lot of fun (with or without someone, but much more fun with) Dawn and I went to Pigout in the Park this last monday and it was fun. They had food booths from all over town restaurants. They had music that filled the entire Riverfront Park and other booths for crafts, palm readers, etc. It was fun. We took two of the dogs and they loved the ducks and geese in the river. Shary2 9/8/99 6:04 PM I have to finish pulling some leads and then I'm heading to bed. Really tired tonight. Keight 9/8/99 6:06 PM I think I had better get some laundry done. I haven't done any laundry since before I wen to CHicago and have worn just about everything in the closet. I haven't worn anything dirty yet, but may have to soon if I don't get the laundry done. We are both on the same wave length...I was just writing this when you sent yours Good night and dream sweet. TTYL Shary2 9/8/99 6:06 PM happy dreams Keight 9/8/99 6:06 PM Thanks .... talk to you tomorrow Shary2 9/9/99 4:12 AM I'll try again now. Had to reboot. Keight 9/9/99 6:54 AM Good AM to you...Mike left me an ICQ message - he is gone on his trip and will get back to me when he returns. He seems like a really nice guy. I have a question tho...when they put in their ad that they want "adult chat", just what does that mean? Does it mean that they don't want to meet you, and so you don't do or say anything about getting together? I was sort of leary that it meant they wanted lewd talk and wasn't sure if I should answer Keight 9/9/99 6:55 AM But Mike seems really nice and has said he would take me for a ride in his convert. So it sounds like he would like to meet me. And he says he enjoys talking with me. So I guess we will have to see what happens. Shary2 9/9/99 7:15 AM Normally "adult chat" is the same as "cybersex". I wouldn't consider meeting him until you had a clear feeling for where he is coming from. Keight 9/9/99 7:23 AM Well, so far nothing has been said even hinting at sex. He is the one with the convert and going to Reno for the air races. He seems real nice so far. Shary2 9/9/99 7:25 AM How old is he? Do you have a pic? Keight 9/9/99 7:27 AM He is 52 and no I don't have a pic...I don't have pics of any of them...I am going to see if Butch can take a photo I have with VIc and crop me out and make up a photo I can send out. Shary2 9/9/99 7:28 AM good idea -- didn't you say he has a digital camera? That's easier. But the other would be ok too. Keight 9/9/99 7:30 AM Yes, he has a camera and was going to take photos of me, but we didn't do it. I can send him the photo and not go up there, if he doesn't want to see me Shary2 9/9/99 7:31 AM He has a scanner? Keight 9/9/99 7:37 AM Yes, he has a scanner and he knows how to crop photos. I have seen him doing it with some photos sent of his ex-wife for her boyfriend. Shary2 9/9/99 7:38 AM That's neat. Send it to me when you get it. Keight 9/9/99 7:44 AM I will do that. He said he would. I just have to mail it to him Shary2 9/9/99 10:02 AM Just heard from Russ. He's coming to Clarksville to take me to Riverfest. Keight 9/9/99 6:45 PM Wonderful...You should have a really great time.....When are you going Today Sat or Sun? Keight 9/10/99 12:27 PM Good Day, Beautiful Lady...So what is going on in your bright side of the world???? Shary2 9/10/99 12:28 PM Cordell drove to Clarksville to take me to lunch and took me to get groceries this afternoon. I told him I'm going to Riverfest tomorrow with friends -- didn't tell him it's a date. Keight 9/10/99 12:28 PM How did he react to that? How is his head doing? Shary2 9/10/99 12:30 PM His head is ok now. He didn't seem to have any problem with it. He works this weekend. Keight 9/10/99 12:32 PM So he couldn't take you to Riverfest anyway, right? It is this weekend, isn't it? Shary2 9/10/99 12:33 PM Right, tomorrow. I'll see Cordell next weekend. Keight 9/10/99 12:38 PM You just have it made in the shade...lucky Lady.....I am going to St Maries tomorrow afternoon to talk with Butch. I need to have him either "shit or get off the pot"...I need to know what to do. I have been looking in the personals and the 4 who have answered haven't even shown an interest in meeting. (except Mike and he is out of town for two weeks). Everyone here keeps telling me I don't need to have a man in my life, but Keight 9/10/99 12:40 PM they don't seem to understand that ; no, I don't NEED a man in my life, I WANT a man in my life. I want someone to share with. I can have fun by myself and I like to be alone with myself on occasion (they can't say that), but I want to have a man to share fun times with, to make love with, to wake up in the AM with, to laugh with. My jokes are funny and I laugh when I am alone, but they are so much funnier when there is someone to share them Shary2 9/10/99 12:42 PM I understand totally. Keight 9/10/99 12:43 PM with. You have always seemed to understand how I feel and we usually have the same ideas about most things. I can't help loving Butch any more than I can help breathing. You know how that is. Yesterday was a really bad day for me..I had asked him to do the photo and he agreed to do it. Then he sent me a dozen roses (cyber) and a very beautiful poem. It hurt so bad and I started crying so hard. I called him up and told him Keight 9/10/99 12:45 PM "don't do that" and he got all upset, he didn't think he was out of line and it won't happen again, etc. He thought I was mad, when I was just so deeply touched and it hurt so bad because I am not supposed to love him. But he said he DOES LOVE ME. So I didn't know what I was supposed to do. That is why I am going to talk with him tomorrow, try to get some kind of understanding about what is going on. It won't be a sexual encounter, but should Keight 9/10/99 12:46 PM be almost as rewarding if we get things worked out. I sent him an email today explaining how I feel and what I want to talk about. Do you want to see the roses and poem he sent and my letter from today? Shary2 9/10/99 12:47 PM yes, I would love to see them Keight 9/10/99 12:48 PM OK, Let me go see if I can get them sent to you. Shary2 9/10/99 12:48 PM thanks! Keight 9/10/99 12:50 PM I sent them. Let me know what you think.... Shary2 9/10/99 12:52 PM I just read your letter. Am looking at the poem now. Shary2 9/10/99 12:55 PM You did a beautiful job of expressing your feelings. I hope he really honors that. Whatever happens, you should have a clearer idea of how he really feels after meeting with him. Keight 9/10/99 1:01 PM I hope to. I just can't continue not knowing what is happening. I either need to move on or stay where I am. I can only handle one relationship at a time and being hung in the middle, I can't create a new one with the guys in the ads. Shary2 9/10/99 1:04 PM That's why I really couldn't get very interested in anyone as long as I thought I have a glimmer of hope with whathisname. Keight 9/10/99 1:15 PM I knew you would understand how I feel. I just wish Kay and Donna would understand and accept my feelings instead of telling me I don't need anyone. Let me decided if I WANT someone or not. You have been such a good friend and I really appreciate you for who you are. Shary2 9/10/99 1:15 PM We have a good thing going :-) Keight 9/10/99 1:19 PM That's right, Pretty Lady, we sure do......When are you going to the Riverfest - in the AM or Afternoon? I bet you will have a really great time.....Do they have rides and a carnival too? Do you go on the rides if they do have them? We have a really neat amusement park at Silverwood ID with a rollercoaster called "tremors" that goes 160 feet drop and then underground. Never been on it, but would love to go. Shary2 9/10/99 1:25 PM I don't do roller coasters! There won't be a carnival at Riverfest. Just music, food booths and crafts booths. Shary2 9/10/99 1:26 PM Cordell wants to take me to Gatlinburg next month and there are rides there. I like some rides very much, but not roller coasters or ferris wheels. Keight 9/10/99 1:37 PM I don't know about how I would feel now on them, but I used to love to ride those rides. It would be fun to at least try one now and see how I do on them. Sounds like you can have all kinds of fun with these guys...they all like different things. What a deal you have. Now if I could just get things in order here and start having fun again..... Shary2 9/10/99 1:52 PM Russ just called. He seems excited about tomorrow. Keight 9/10/99 1:56 PM How about you? Are you excited? You really haven't said much about it....what gives? Shary2 9/10/99 2:07 PM He sounds very nice and I am looking forward to meeting him. I'm not really excited, but I am looking forward to it. Keight 9/10/99 2:07 PM How about if I change places with you, you talk to Butch and I will go to the Riverfest? Shary2 9/10/99 2:08 PM No way, Lady! Keight 9/10/99 2:09 PM Ah, Shucks ! ! Shary2 9/10/99 2:10 PM But we'll both have lots to talk about tomorrow evening or Sunday :-) Keight 9/10/99 2:11 PM That is true...I will probably get on the computer sometime sunday....Want to hear all about Russ and Riverfest Keight 9/13/99 7:28 PM How is it going??? So you had a bit much to drink last night...as long as it was good and you had fun, what the heck?? !! So Cordell is still being standoffish?? Well, that would be his loss if he doesn't get ahold of you. Glad you had fun with Russ. Is he as gentle as he looks and does he look like Robert Wagner? Keight 9/13/99 7:29 PM Butch is in Lewiston the rest of this week training on a new program they are doing a conversion to in November. He will have to take this training and then be able to teach everyone else at his plant how to use it. He is good at computer stuff, but doesn't look forward to this because conversions are such a pain, usually and he doesn't think this will be any different. Keight 9/13/99 7:32 PM I don't know if I told you about the jerk I almost went out with this last weekend. But I told him to forget it (in a nice way) and he wrote me back a nasty email (about how I was just screwing with him and I would never know what I missed) I told him that what he did was not necessary and not to contact me again. Hope he doesn't. Keight 9/13/99 7:50 PM Going to bed..TTYL Shary2 9/14/99 3:40 AM I got all your IM's this morning. Isn't it nice to be able to tell someone to get lost? I did that yesterday too :-) What kind of work does Butch do? Keight 9/14/99 5:12 PM He is a buyer for Potlatch Corp (a timber/lumber company). Has been with them for 16 years or more. Really likes his job and they like him, so he is fairly secure. Besides Andy, who have you told to take a flying leap? Shary2 9/15/99 6:40 AM A guy who I was ICQ'ing with. Keight 9/16/99 6:20 PM It has been a while since I heard from you. Shary2 9/16/99 6:20 PM hello Keight 9/16/99 6:21 PM Hi, what is going on in your part of the world...has Floyd been to visit you or did he skirt around you? Shary2 9/16/99 6:21 PM We just got a bit of wind. No rain at all. Keight 9/16/99 6:22 PM Sounds like you were lucky....How is business? You said there were some dips the other day....Better now? Shary2 9/16/99 6:23 PM Rodona is in Chicago and hopefully will have exciting news when she gets back tomorrow. In the meantime we just keep on keepin' on. Shary2 9/16/99 6:25 PM I'm going to stay with Cordell Saturday night. I hope I'm not out of my mind. Keight 9/16/99 6:25 PM That is the best any of us can do...at least in this old world. There has to be a better way and maybe someday we will find it and share it with each other. Keight 9/16/99 6:27 PM You do what you feel is best for you and if that is doing something that is way out, try it because it may be fun. That is what I am doing and it is great fun. I am not taking anything too seriously (even Butch) I am having fun and if it goes anywhere, OK and if not OK Too. Shary2 9/16/99 6:28 PM We'll see where it goes. I'm going to be real honest with him and tell him I am not looking for a long term relationship. We may move next summer because Joseph might get transferred to San Diego or Virginia to get his masters degree. Keight 9/16/99 6:29 PM That is all you can do. Being straight forward and honest is always the best thing to do. Shary2 9/16/99 6:31 PM He really is a sweet guy. We're going to a movie Saturday evening and to the state fair on Sunday. He said he would either take me out to breakfast or cook breakfast for me. I hope we have fun together. Keight 9/16/99 6:32 PM I hope you have fun too. But sometimes expectations can ruin a really good time, so hope neither of you have expectations of the other. Shary2 9/16/99 6:34 PM I think we both have a fairly relaxed attitude about it. Keight 9/16/99 6:34 PM I have a couple of photos that Butch took of me at his place that I will send you tomorrow. I have them on my computer at work and not this one at home. Shary2 9/16/99 6:35 PM good, because I can't get your other pic Keight 9/16/99 6:36 PM That is good. You should have a really great time. I will send the other one again too Shary2 9/16/99 6:36 PM thank. I'm going to go to bed now. Have to get up early tomorrow to get Tyler off to school Keight 9/16/99 6:37 PM That is right, you get to play "mommy" while Rodona is gone....have fun and dream sweet Shary2 9/16/99 6:38 PM nite Keight 9/16/99 6:38 PM TTYL Keight 9/17/99 11:54 AM HI,,,I had ICQ up earlier, but you weren't on so I took it down....When is Cordell picking you up for this weekend? I am going to have dinner with Dawn tonight and then head out to St Maries. I will be back Sunday to go to the Fair and Demo Derby. I have been hinting to the guys I have been emailing to see if they would volunteer to take me to the Derby or at least meet me there. We will see what happens. Shary2 9/17/99 11:55 AM don't go away -- be back in about 3 minutes Keight 9/17/99 11:56 AM You got it Shary2 9/17/99 12:56 PM shout if you come back online Keight 9/19/99 12:10 PM HHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOO - I am online Shary2 9/19/99 12:10 PM hi Keight 9/19/99 12:11 PM How was the weekend with Cordell? You are home early aren't you? Shary2 9/19/99 12:13 PM Rodona got a contract we need to really get to work on. Cordell understood. He brought me home about 1. I had a good time. He's a nice man. Keight 9/19/99 12:19 PM Is it one she got while in Chicago? Glad you have a new contract, that will help you feel better about having more income. I know you work really hard all the time (well most of the time) and deserve the best. Cordell sounds pretty neat. Did you have fun at the fair? Shary2 9/19/99 12:21 PM We had a very lazy morning. Didn't try to go to the fair. I wanted to take a bath and he brought me coffee and chocolate chip cookies while I was in the tub. Keight 9/19/99 12:23 PM Wooowwww...That would be nice. What a Sweetie..... Shary2 9/19/99 12:23 PM He really is. And a considerate lover too. Keight 9/19/99 12:26 PM How nice. That is really important in building trust. I know how considerate Butch is and it really makes a difference. Well I had better get going...Dawn and I are going to the fair. It starts at 3 PM and it is 1:30 now, but it takes quite a while to find parking and then I want to look around the fair a bit too. Talk to you when we get back home Should be around 6 PM or so Shary2 9/19/99 12:29 PM have fun Keight 9/19/99 12:29 PM Will do,,,,will contact you later Keight 9/19/99 5:55 PM Hi, again...just got home. The Derby was excellent. I have a sore throat and not much voice left, but it was worth it. There was even and lady driver. She was good, but she didn't win. Actually, she went out fairly early in the race. But she was a good driver. It was just a bad break the put her out. Shary2 9/19/99 5:56 PM Sounds like you had fun. That's great! Keight 9/19/99 5:57 PM Had a blast. Are you really busy now? Shary2 9/19/99 5:58 PM Challenged more than busy. Frustrated because I can't solve the problems. Keight 9/19/99 5:59 PM That doesn't sound like fun....what are the problems? Software or hardware or contractual? Shary2 9/19/99 6:01 PM Yep! We can't fullfill a contract because the software isn't working and I'm going to through the hardware in the swimming pool :) Keight 9/19/99 6:02 PM Well, the contract and software could probably go with the hardware in the pool and then you could pretend you are a lifeguard and try to jump in a save it all....... Shary2 9/19/99 6:02 PM I'd rather go to bed and read! Keight 9/19/99 6:03 PM Oh, but a swim sounds so relaxing and could lead to a great sleep. Shary2 9/19/99 6:03 PM But the pool has been closed for the year. Keight 9/19/99 6:04 PM Well, shucks....that isn't fair. Are you getting excited about going to Portland>>>>that is this next week, the 23rd, right? Shary2 9/19/99 6:05 PM I'm very excited. And I am ready for a vacation. Keight 9/19/99 6:06 PM You have had a lot going on in your life lately...you should be ready for a vacation. How long will you be gone? Shary2 9/19/99 6:07 PM 6 days including travel days Rodona will take me to the airport early Thursday morning and Cordell will pick me up late Thursday evening. Keight 9/19/99 6:11 PM That sounds like it will be a nice long vacation. Usually a week is enough when you fly . It gives you 5 full days and two partial days. How long is your flight there? It took me 8 hours with a 3 hour layover in SLC to come home from Chicago. It took 12 hours to get to Chicago with a 1 hour lay over in PHX Shary2 9/19/99 6:11 PM It's 4 or 4 and a half to Vegas and about 1 and a half from Vegas to Portland. My layover is an hour one way and 40 minutes the other. Keight 9/19/99 6:13 PM That isn't bad flying time at all. It is nice that Cordell is going to pick you up. Did you get the photos of me that Butch took last weekend? I can't remember if I sent them to you. I was going to. Shary2 9/19/99 6:14 PM nope, you must not have sent them yet Keight 9/19/99 6:14 PM OK...let me see if I can find them while I am thinking about it and send them email.... Shary2 9/19/99 6:14 PM thanks Keight 9/20/99 12:53 PM I just emailed both of his letters to you. I have him on ICQ now and waiting to hear from him. He has his little N/A up right now. Shary2 9/20/99 12:54 PM who? This is the first message I got and don't know what you are referring to. ??????????? Keight 9/20/99 12:57 PM Oh, I sent one that I have a new guy from the personal ads and I emailed the letters he has sent me. He is a real charmer and could prove very interesting. I had set up email.com for personal ad responses and then forgot about it. There were two letters in there from different ads. I replied to both of them and this one wrote back. I emailed to you his two replies. The second one has my reply to his first letter. Shary2 9/20/99 12:58 PM Did you email to dd915? There is nothing there. I am going to icq you an image file and then will tell you about it. Keight 9/20/99 12:58 PM yes I did email to dd915 Shary2 9/20/99 12:59 PM can you resend? Keight 9/20/99 12:59 PM Sure Shary2 9/20/99 1:00 PM I'm going to try one more time to send this file. Keight 9/20/99 1:02 PM Still not coming through...want me to abort??? Shary2 9/20/99 1:04 PM yes. I'll email it. Shary2 9/20/99 1:09 PM I lost my aol connection. Don't know if the picture got sent or not. Let me know. Keight 9/20/99 1:15 PM What is going on with your ICQ? I tried to send a message and it would not go through. (or maybe it is my ICQ - who knows) I cancelled that one...But did you get my two emails from John Chatam? Shary2 9/20/99 1:15 PM yes, I did. Did you get the pic I emailed to you? Keight 9/20/99 1:16 PM Yes, I emailed back - So who is this hunk???? Talk to me...... Shary2 9/20/99 1:17 PM I don't know :( Someone sent me a pic a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't open it. I just figured out how to do it and I don't know who it is from! Da-am! Keight 9/20/99 1:18 PM You are Kidding???? Wow, what a hunk to miss out on who it is. Damn, is right. Whoa, what a deal that is. Shary2 9/20/99 1:20 PM I'm putting the ocean pic on my computer as wallpaper :) Keight 9/20/99 1:21 PM I would do that too. What a NICE view. Did you read the emails I sent you? Shary2 9/20/99 1:21 PM I'm doing it now. Keight 9/20/99 1:22 PM I have the ocean picture is there another one you are sending? Do I need to resend the emails from John? Shary2 9/20/99 1:23 PM No, I got the emails. Keight 9/20/99 1:24 PM OK...I guess I am confused, but when am I not confused. Are you trying to send me another email picture? Shary2 9/20/99 1:25 PM I will. Hold on just a sec. I'm sure both pics were taken in Hawaii. Shary2 9/20/99 1:26 PM Trying to icq pic. Can you get it? Shary2 9/20/99 1:26 PM OK, I'll email this one too. Right away. Keight 9/20/99 1:27 PM OK Shary2 9/20/99 1:35 PM I found him! Keight 9/20/99 1:37 PM What? How did you do that so quick? Who is he? Don't leave me hanging like this/........ Shary2 9/20/99 1:37 PM I went through "sent" mail and found one I wrote to a guy that said I can't open your image file. Keight 9/20/99 1:38 PM That was slick thinking....So who is he and when did he send the pics? Shary2 9/20/99 1:38 PM I still have to go back and find out where he came from, but at least I have his email now. Keight 9/20/99 1:39 PM That is terrific ! ! ! Don't let that one get away without at least giving him a thorough PEEK. Shary2 9/20/99 1:39 PM There is no danger of that :) Shary2 9/20/99 1:40 PM Actually he wrote to me a second time and asked if I had gotten his letter. It came through Yahoo. I'm hot on the trail now. Keight 9/20/99 1:41 PM Ha ha ha I didn't think there would be, just had to say it tho......Keep me posted on the developments....fine time to figure out who it is when you are getting ready to leave for a while.....Maybe I will just have to come to TN and keep him company for you while you are gone......(just kidding) Keight 9/20/99 1:41 PM And you are sssoooooo good when you are reasearching things...... Shary2 9/20/99 1:41 PM I'm not sure where he is from, but I WILL FIND OUT! Keight 9/20/99 1:42 PM I have no doubt that you will find out all you can about him...... Shary2 9/20/99 1:44 PM yep :) Keight 9/20/99 1:45 PM Was that YEP that I could keep him company while you are in Portland?????? Shary2 9/20/99 1:47 PM No damn way!!! tee hee hee That was yep, I'll find out about him. Keight 9/20/99 1:51 PM Oh, shucks....I was so looking forward to spending time with him while you were gone.... :=) Then I guess I will just have to be content with Butch and John. and Tom and Micheal and Mike and Ron....Shucks anyway......I was think about how different it is that you and I are playing this dating game together.....it makes it so much more fun doing it with a friend and sharing all the nuances. Shary2 9/20/99 1:53 PM Yes, it does. Keight 9/20/99 1:58 PM Thank you for being a really great friend.... I guess I will just have to leave your MEN alone. Mickey, (My boss Harry's sister) just broke up with her boyfriend. I asked her for his phone number and she says "Boy, you don't waste any time, do you?" I have been giving her a bad time about me getting with him. Shary2 9/20/99 2:03 PM That's ok as long as she broke with him and not the other way around! Keight 9/20/99 2:08 PM Yeah, she broke with him....he is nice looking, but I don't really think I would be interested in him, or him in me. It is just fun teasing her about it. Shary2 9/20/99 2:09 PM I know you were teasing. BTW the guy in the pic is John. Keight 9/20/99 2:09 PM Knew you would find him.....great work Shary2 9/20/99 2:10 PM I've already emailed him :) Keight 9/20/99 2:10 PM They don't call you SHERLOCK for nothin' ya know. Keight 9/20/99 2:11 PM That's right, don't let any grass grow under your feet......if he is even half as nice as he looks, it is a pretty good deal. Shary2 9/20/99 2:14 PM I'll let you know what I find out. Keight 9/20/99 2:34 PM I have really found a gem of a guy..want to read a couple of his emails? He had an ad that I replied to in July using a email address I had just set up for those replies in "email.com" Then I forgot about that email account. I just found it last friday and there were two letters in there. I responded to both of them. This one wrote back. He is really neat sounding. Keight 9/20/99 2:34 PM That is great.....I hope he is as nice as his pics......He sure has a beautiful smile....Go, Girl.... Keight 9/21/99 10:25 AM Hi. Pretty Lady - Please don't email me at work (keight@pcntech.com) because I got laid off yesterday at 4 PM. I am a free woman now. Right now it feels good. A couple of weeks down the road it may not feel so good. I am going to start making the jewelry again and I have a booth at the psychic fair on 10/30. I can sign up for unemployment and with a temp agency. I am not too worried right now. I am sure I can make enough to live on. Shary2 9/21/99 10:26 AM What was the reason? Wasn't it totally unexpected? Keight 9/21/99 10:29 AM No it wasn't totally unexpected. Harry has been having financial problems and Kay had told me a couple of weeks ago that he is in a really bad spot financially (since she is the accountant). He let everyone but Kay go. He can't do her job is the only reason she is still there. Lack of financial stability to keep on the employees is the reason and I can get unemployment for that. He said he would sign all the papers and help all he could. Shary2 9/21/99 10:29 AM That's good. That will give you a comfortabe interval to find something else. Keight 9/21/99 10:32 AM It also gives me time to clean up the house and get some things ready for a garage sale. I don't mind being off work. But emotionally I know it will hit me for a while, no matter how secure I feel mentally. There is a deep inner part of me I don't have control of, that reacts to things like this with stomach problems, nervous reactions, etc. But it will be fine. Shary2 9/21/99 10:33 AM I do understand. Keight 9/21/99 10:34 AM I am talking with John and had quite a conversation with him last night. He is married and I told him that I can talk to him on ICQ but that is as far as it will ever go. He said he understood and that was fine with him. Keight 9/21/99 10:35 AM I knew you would. But it will give us some time to talk as well....Did you ever get ahold of the ocean guy (Did you say his name was JOHN?) Shary2 9/21/99 10:35 AM Let me know when you are finished. Is he the one who sent the emails you sent me? Keight 9/21/99 10:35 AM Yes that is the one. We ar e on chat now ttyl Shary2 9/21/99 10:36 AM Yes, he lives in NE Portland!!! That's where my dad lives. He wants me to call him while I'm there. Don't know if we'll get to meet or now. Keight 9/21/99 10:36 AM Can you believe that? Wow. Keight 9/22/99 11:35 AM Good AM to you...Are you getting ready for Portland? Or are you already to go? I have a tendancy to wait until the last minute. You have a really good time... Have you heard from John, (portland ocean man)? Shary2 9/22/99 11:40 AM Hi ... I'm crossing things off my last minute list :) Yes, I heard from John just a bit ago and have a tentative date to go to McMinimins (a pub in NE Portland) Monday evening. He is so damn cute!!! Keight 9/22/99 11:42 AM Whoa.... how nice...I saw how cute he is....are you lucky or what....but what happens when you get back to TN? It is a bummer that he is in Portland. I know what, I will keep him company for you while you are in TN and when you come to OR, then you can have him back, OK? Keight 9/22/99 11:43 AM Don't you throw that computer at me....I am already ducking.......... Shary2 9/22/99 11:43 AM He makes my mouth water! I might get to Portland more often :) Shary2 9/22/99 11:43 AM You better duck :) Keight 9/22/99 11:44 AM Hey, I just received a file I want to send you......it is so cute.....your mouth watering reminded me of it...... Keight 9/22/99 11:44 AM I am on the floor, but I won't tell you where............ Keight 9/22/99 11:49 AM I just emailed you that joke I thought was cute.....let me know. Shary2 9/22/99 11:50 AM I'll go check it now. Keight 9/22/99 11:53 AM Tom was cleaning out his joke file and sent me a whole slew of jokes last night. So I reciprcated by sending him some of mine....Now his file is full again and so is mine. He was sending me jokes until 9:30pm last night. Some are really great....... Shary2 9/22/99 11:55 AM Your attachment came through as a HUGE encrypted file. Keight 9/22/99 11:56 AM How did that happen? I just forwarded it as I received it???? What do I need to do to get it sent??? Shary2 9/22/99 12:50 PM Can you just paste it into an email rather than sending it as an attachment? Keight 9/29/99 10:47 AM Hi, Rodonda - Is Shary due back tomorrow evening? Or is it next week....? Have you talked to her recently ? Hope she is having a great time.... Shary2 9/29/99 1:18 PM Hello ... I'm back. I flew into Nashville last night. Cordell picked me up and took me home with him. Then he gave me his van to use so I could drive home this morning. I'll keep it till Saturday when I go back to Nashville to go to the auto races with him. Keight 9/29/99 1:20 PM Hey, Girl...Welcome Home ! ! ! Glad to have you back.... Cordell really sounds like a very nice caring man.... Did you meet John in Portland??? Tell me about your trip... You are probably fairly tired from the flights tho.... Welcome home..... Shary2 9/29/99 1:21 PM I'm beat! But happy to be home. John is as yummy as his picture. We had a great time and I would gladly see him again if he is still in Portland when I go back again. Keight 9/29/99 1:22 PM Is there a reason why he wouldn't be??? Or maybe he would go to TN to be with you??? Keight 9/29/99 1:28 PM Did you have a relaxing time in Portland?? Did you see any whales? Shary2 9/29/99 1:29 PM I didn't see any whales but Mike and Denise saw one. The weather was perfect and it was so relaxing and fun. Keight 9/29/99 1:30 PM That is really great...did you get some pics..? Shary2 9/29/99 1:31 PM Not a single picture. But I got some postcards and a calendar and a placemat for me with lighthouse pics. Keight 9/29/99 1:33 PM Oh, sure.... you get all the neat stuff for you and no pics to share with me..... gee, what a friend you are.....LOL :-)) Had a great talk with Rodonda while you were gone.... Shary2 9/29/99 1:33 PM Nice! Isn't she a doll? Shary2 9/29/99 1:36 PM John is bright, a good conversationalist, fun. And very cute :) He is finishing a house in Portland and then will probably go to Arizona for the winter. He's not looking for a relationship but neither am I at this point. Unfortunately, Cordell is. Keight 9/29/99 1:37 PM Oh, yeah, she is.... we talked about what a terrible person you are and how mean you are and all that silly stuff, you know??? :-)) No, really, she is very nice and thinks almost as highly of you as I do.... but we both agree on one point. ( you made a really HUGE mistake in the judgment of the character of a certain male in your past (no names mentioned.) Keight 9/29/99 1:38 PM You can tell Cordell is looking for a more permanent relationship than you are....did you tell him you will probably be moving sometime next year? Shary2 9/29/99 1:38 PM Andy or David? Keight 9/29/99 1:38 PM Not David..... The other one..... (Nameless) Shary2 9/29/99 1:39 PM I've been almost painfully honest with him. Last night he told me he wishes I was there every night. I said "Get used to it, honey. It ain't gonna happen. Let's just have fun while we can." Keight 9/29/99 1:40 PM That is fairly straight forward...what did he say...? Shary2 9/29/99 1:41 PM Oh, that nameless one. Yep, you are both right. Shary2 9/29/99 1:42 PM He usually says something like "people change their minds sometimes" or he just looks at me all sad and says "I know". Keight 9/29/99 1:42 PM Yeah, we agreed on that one whole heartedly.... You are a very wise woman (most of the time - that was your only exception and you are allowed that much) :-)) Keight 9/29/99 1:43 PM Does it make you want to change your mind? You are strong and will do what is best for you.... I know that... want to hear me escapades while you were gone???? Shary2 9/29/99 1:44 PM No, the other one was a mistake too. Not being with him, but getting married to him was very much a mistake. Shary2 9/29/99 1:45 PM Does what make me want to change my mind? Yes, of course I want to hear :) Keight 9/29/99 1:46 PM That is true.... but it wasn't as serious as the nameless one.... he hurt you a whole lot more than David did... Keight 9/29/99 1:46 PM Cordell's remarks about "I know".... Shary2 9/29/99 1:47 PM They hurt me in different ways. And I learned from both of them. But I am truly glad Andy is out of my life except on a limited business basis. Keight 9/29/99 1:48 PM Well, monday I got laid off work.... Don't know if I had told you that or not... so now I am getting some things done around the house that I hadn't done before... but now as fast as I thought I would... Sat I opened up the avail for random chat on ICQ and was totally inundated with "new friends" mostly men.... a couple of ladies and an 18 year old in Uraguay Keight 9/29/99 1:48 PM See, I told you that you are a smart lady.... :-)) Shary2 9/29/99 1:49 PM The chat sounds like fun but I don't usually like to chat because I'm at the computer working so much. Shary2 9/29/99 1:51 PM I'm enjoying Cordell and he is a fun lover. I have no desire for an emotional entanglement with him. He is so thoughtful and caring of me and I like me a lot, but could never amount to more. Keight 9/29/99 1:51 PM Anyway, I met a man from KY that wanted nothing but ICQ sex and when I asked him if he didn't think of anything else, he asked who pissed in my cereal and took off....Oh, well.... the 18 year old in Uraguay is still writing, but not too much after I was taken totally by surprise at his age and told him "Get off my back, you aren't 18 are you?" He had sent me a pic and is very cute, but looks older than 18... Shary2 9/29/99 1:52 PM As much as I like sex, I do not like phone sex or cybersex. The fantasies for whatzisname were a very different thing. Keight 9/29/99 1:53 PM I understand that.... In a way that is how Butch and I are now... we are good friends and occasional lovers, but that is all.... He wants to look around a bit before settling down on a permanent relationship and I want to also...I think I really want a man with full control of ALL his body and doesn't have such special needs.... Shary2 9/29/99 1:54 PM Good for you for recognizing that. Shary2 9/29/99 1:54 PM I may meet Daniel in a couple of weeks. Keight 9/29/99 1:55 PM Yeah, that is how I feel too.... that is why I asked him if he couldn't talk about anything else....if not then I don't care what he does.... I also met a man from CA and he sent me pics... he has been very nice and we talk about all kinds of things and sex has never been mentioned... he is 60 and nice looking... Keight 9/29/99 1:55 PM Which one was Daniel???? I remember the name, but not the details..... Shary2 9/29/99 1:55 PM Lexington, KY ... horses ... travel Keight 9/29/99 1:57 PM Then I met Fred from Vancouver BC...and he was very nice and asked me to come visit him...so I did...Left Sunday AM and got there 3PM...we were going to have a picnic and get to know each other first and then go to his place....it is a beautiful apartment overlooking the San Juan Islands and sound.... Shary2 9/29/99 1:57 PM and ... ? Keight 9/29/99 1:58 PM Oh, yes.... That should be a fun one too.... Daniel (I will remember that now) Keight 9/29/99 2:00 PM And it was a VERY big mistake... he is one of those men who believe men are superior and women inferior..He wanted me to call him MASTER and do what he said when he said without question or argument....Well, that got my Scorpio/Taurus dander up and I said I do not believe in that concept...he also wanted me to say "fuck" when I had an orgasm so he would know...I said I do not use that word and I will not... Shary2 9/29/99 2:01 PM Yuk! Sounds like an unpleasant experience. Keight 9/29/99 2:02 PM then he went into an hour long tirade about stupid north american women and how selfish they are and don't know how to please and man and only want for themselves... I told him that I needed something on my stomach since I hadn't eaten all day and we didn't have the picnic like planned...so then he went into a lecture about my weight and how fat and ugly I am and getting fatter and uglier daily....etc.... Shary2 9/29/99 2:03 PM Whoa! I didn't think it could get worse, but it is. Keight 9/29/99 2:03 PM After that, I said I was tired and wanted to go to bed...besides after our first SEX I was bleeding and it was not time for a period....he was VERY large I would say at least 10" and bigger around than my fingers would go... I think he tore something in there... any way he said I have an infection and it must have come from Butch (I had told him about Butch.) Shary2 9/29/99 2:05 PM I do not like this guy !!!!! Keight 9/29/99 2:05 PM I wanted to leave but it was late and I didn't know where to go in BC to get a motel room...and it is another 50-100 miles back into the states to where I could get a place to stay...so I spent the night with him...nothing more happened but he lectured me the rest of the night until I went to sleep.... he really played with my mind.... Keight 9/29/99 2:06 PM Neither do I...anyway I left Monday AM (up and dressed before he even woke up) but he had to let me out of the secured building..... Keight 9/29/99 2:09 PM The trip was beautiful....The drive through Stevens Pass was the most awesome drive...it was snowing on the highest peaks, the trees were turning white, but it was only misting on the highway....the sky was mostly clear, except for the snow clouds around the mountain peaks...totally awesome When I got home I had to talk to Butch tho, and get my head back on straight...Fred said that I am incapable of giving a man pleasure during sex and that no Shary2 9/29/99 2:11 PM What a total asshole! Keight 9/29/99 2:11 PM man will ever know if I have an orgasm if I don't learn to say "fuck". Well, Butch says that I give him so much pleasure during "making love" that he feels like he could ever give me as much pleasure and that he knows when I have an orgasm by the sound of my voice and look in my eyes.... So then I felt much better... and screw Fred... Keight 9/29/99 2:11 PM YEAH>>>>That is so right.... Shary2 9/29/99 2:12 PM Chalk him up to a bad nightmare and pretend that's all it was. Keight 9/29/99 2:13 PM That is pretty much what I did...but I now will ask a few more questions before I meet someone...speaking of meeting someone, I also met a man and his wife from Italy and they want me to come to Italy and stay with them while I tour the country... Shary2 9/29/99 2:15 PM Do be very, very careful with couples and be absolutely sure what they are expecting :) Keight 9/29/99 2:16 PM Why? Shary2 9/29/99 2:17 PM Because a lot of couples are looking for a threesome. Keight 9/29/99 2:18 PM That is something I don't think I would want to do... Shary2 9/29/99 2:19 PM No, I don't think so. Shary2 9/29/99 2:19 PM One lover at a time for me. I need to be able to focus :) Shary2 9/29/99 2:26 PM What's your phone number? do you have to go offline for me to call you? Keight 9/29/99 2:28 PM 509 535 0973 and yes I do ...let me finish talking with Mike and I will sign off Shary2 9/29/99 2:28 PM Just say when. Keight 9/29/99 2:29 PM Will do Shary2 9/29/99 2:31 PM I want to send you an email before you go offline. We can talk about it after you get it, so print it out if you can. Keight 9/29/99 2:32 PM Great Shary2 9/29/99 2:38 PM I sent 3. Let me know when you are ready to talk. Keight 9/29/99 2:38 PM OK will do.... Keight 9/29/99 4:07 PM I can take down the internet connection now...if you want to call me..... I looked at the emails..... 509 535 0973 Shary2 9/29/99 4:08 PM ok Shary2 9/30/99 9:25 AM I just got this email from Daniel: you are in my thoughts all the time and you need to know this. We could be so very good for one another. Shary2 9/30/99 9:27 AM The smoother he is, the more I'd like for him to be for real, and the more wary I become :) Keight 9/30/99 9:27 AM You know something I notice about his writing ? He seems to be intelligent as well as eloquent.... and he knows how to express himself.... that is a good start and maybe why you feel a connection to him... Shary2 9/30/99 9:28 AM He is very intelligent and rather sophisticated. Keight 9/30/99 9:28 AM I understand that feeling.... especially after two experiences with smooth talkers.... But some of the guys out there are certainly less capable in the intelligence dept...know what I mean.? Keight 9/30/99 9:29 AM And lots of money ô¿ô I hope for your sake, that he is REAL and not just trying to get into your ???? (whatever) Shary2 9/30/99 9:30 AM I hope so too. Been there, done that! Keight 9/30/99 9:34 AM That is so right..... don't need that lesson again... that is what I am looking for and it is really hard to find... I thought I had it with Butch (and still sort of feel that way), but I question whether I want to live the next ??? years not having a man on top sometimes, or having to move his paralyzed arm and legs into certain positions and other things that I want a man to do.... He says some really wonderful things and makes me feel so good Keight 9/30/99 9:37 AM both inside and out.... and he gets me so turned on. I totally trust him but maybe that is because I know he can't do anything to hurt me physically.. I don't know what it is.... We are still going to make love on occasion, but I wish it was a lot more often... I want to find a man I can trust completely, who says the things that make me feel special and can do things with me... You know and understand it all, I know... Keight 9/30/99 9:38 AM You will find out what kind of man Daniel is and be able to see if he fulfills your needs... being warey is good it helps you to be discerning and a little more attentive to what he says, does and where he takes you... and what he wants.... Shary2 9/30/99 9:40 AM The main thing is of course that I am afraid he'll be another very intelligent, sophisticated, smooth talking phoney like the nameless one. But there is a BIG difference. I was head-over-heels in love with Andy before I ever met him the first time. Shary2 9/30/99 9:41 AM And I would have trusted him with my life. This time I am feeling cautious and I have no emotional ties to Daniel. Shary2 9/30/99 9:41 AM I am intrigued and fascinated but nothing more. I can walk away from him in a heartbeat if that's what feels right. Keight 9/30/99 9:43 AM That is a big difference... You will be just fine with Daniel.... You at least have your eyes wide open... You always have that choice.... It is hard for the Scorpio part not to have emotional ties to a man (in the case of the female Scorpio) because we have such a strong sex drive to be fulfilled... I am just beginning to discover that part of me and don't know how I survived all these years with Vic without satisfaction. Shary2 9/30/99 9:50 AM Gotta run. Talk to you later. Keight 9/30/99 10:00 AM TTYL Keight 10/1/99 9:46 AM Good morning, Pretty Lady.... Did Daniel call ??? Shary2 10/1/99 11:12 AM Hi .. I was out shopping. Daniel did not call last night but might have tried. We needed my phone line for a computer till almost 11. We'll see if he calls tonight. I'm getting a cat. Keight 10/1/99 11:18 AM What kind of cat are you getting...??? Shary2 10/1/99 11:20 AM I went to the shelter and there is a 5-year-old, spayed, calico female that wants me. She is very sweet. I'm leaning toward her. She has been declawed (I'd never do that to a cat) so I wouldn't have to worry about furniture, waterbed (when I can get one) or kids. Shary2 10/1/99 11:21 AM I'm also checking the ads in the free ads paper, but will probably get the calico. They charge $60 for adoption and that includes all shots and llleuk test. Keight 10/1/99 11:23 AM that sounds really great....it would be good company for you..... Shary2 10/1/99 11:25 AM She wanted to come home with me. Keight 10/1/99 11:27 AM That is the kind you should take....they have picked you and they make the best pets and companions... Shary2 10/1/99 11:40 AM She is really quite pretty too. But I have always been partial to calicos. Keight 10/2/99 10:14 AM Good day Pretty Lady - How come you aren't at the races???? Shary2 10/2/99 10:14 AM We have a work crisis. I'm not leaving till 3:00. Keight 10/2/99 10:15 AM Oh, I guess I thought it would be an all day thing... too bad about the work crisis... I won't tie you up... You just have fun when you go... TTYL... Shary2 10/2/99 10:20 AM Thanks ... have to come home early tomorrow too, but at least I'll enjoy the races tonight. Cordell still feels lousy. I'd really rather come home after the races or sleep in his guest room. He might prefer that too. Keight 10/2/99 10:22 AM You be careful not to get any "bugs" from him..... But you know how to take care of yourself... surround him with Reiki energy and yourself and know that it will be fine.... Keight 10/3/99 6:18 AM How were the races? How was Cordell and most important how are you.???? Shary2 10/3/99 7:48 AM Hi ... I just got home a few minutes ago. Shary2 10/3/99 7:49 AM I was wrong ... it was NASCAR and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Spent the entire time in the center field. Shary2 10/3/99 7:50 AM Cordell did not have to take the wrecker onto the track once the race started last night. He did on Friday night. But we were in the parade so I did get to ride around the track a couple of times. Keight 10/3/99 7:51 AM Hi, I wondered if Rhondo had set up your computer for business.... Wow, NASCAR is really great and being in the pits What a wonderful experience.... You got to ride the track in a parade.... man that is neat.... Shary2 10/3/99 7:51 AM We got back to his house pretty early so we watched a movie on HBO. I wasn't sure if he'd feel like making love or not. He didn't seem to have any cold or flu symptoms, but hadn't had much sleep for a few nights and was tired. But he woke up when we got to bed :) Shary2 10/3/99 7:53 AM I sat in the wrecker with him part of the time. He was facing the first turn. And I walked around part of the time. Got to watch them change the "front housing" (I think) on one of the cars and get in back in the race. There were 5 guys working on it at the same time and I was only about 6 feet away. Fascinating. Keight 10/3/99 7:56 AM Now, I know I am "jealous" or maybe not that but at least envious.... that is such a treat... he must drive tow truck for the races??? Does he go to all of them?? What an opportunity you have... No matter how you feel about him, I wouldn't let him go.... Besides if he is as good in bed as he is at showing you a good time, what the heck... :-) He certainly doesn't seem all that bad.... Shary2 10/3/99 7:58 AM He drives a roll-back wrecker. He's going to email me a picture and I'll forward it to you. This is the first time he's worked a race. Keight 10/3/99 8:00 AM That is terrific....thanks, at least I can share that much of it with you.... I love things like that.... we used to go to car and boat races and get down in the pits.. I personally knew many of the drivers and it was so much fun.... Shary2 10/3/99 8:03 AM Cordell said he may get to work another race and will take me if he does. Shary2 10/3/99 8:04 AM He has a brother-in-law who is a used car dealer. Cordell asked him to watch for a good used car for me that is in my price range (under $1500). That way I know it will be checked out and he won't be making a fortune on it. Keight 10/3/99 8:06 AM That is a pretty good deal... I would take it in a minute... :-) You haven't said if you heard from John in Portland since you have been back... Cordell helping you find an auto is really a nice thing for him to do... Shary2 10/3/99 8:07 AM John was leaving the same day I did and we haven't corresponded since he got back. I was just thinking about sending him a short email just to stay in touch. I'm sort of in a holding pattern till I meet Daniel. Keight 10/3/99 8:09 AM that is understandable... Shary2 10/3/99 8:11 AM If (very big "if") Daniel is for real, and if (another biggie) I like him, then I won't pursue anything else at this time. Keight 10/3/99 8:11 AM That is so wise, that is the way I am (a one man woman) Shary2 10/3/99 8:13 AM I might or might not continue to see Cordell. I think they are as different as two men could be. I know Daviel expects a "relationship", not just an occasional date. He sounds like an all-or-nothing guy. Keight 10/3/99 8:14 AM But you are an "all or nothing" lady too (at least at times) Shary2 10/3/99 8:16 AM It is going to depend on a number of things. First, of course, whether or not I am even interested in Daniel once we've met. Then, how often we'll be seeing each other. If he wants to spend a couple of weekends a month with me, that is absolutely the very most I can be away. Keight 10/3/99 8:17 AM He seemed to be OK with the time thing at least it sounded like that before... Shary2 10/3/99 8:17 AM If he wants more than that -- other than a very occasional longer trip -- then I'm the wrong girl for him. My business has to take priority. He might not be willing to accept that although he says he understands. Shary2 10/3/99 8:17 AM If he only wants to see me once a month or so, I would probably continue to see Cordell too. Keight 10/3/99 8:19 AM You really have a dilemma to work out,, but time will tell which way to go... Shary2 10/3/99 8:21 AM It doesn't feel like a dilemma. Just for the reason you say. I'm looking at possible options, but not going to try to make any decisions until the time is right. There is no hurry, although I must admit I am getting quite anxious to meet Daniel. Keight 10/3/99 8:22 AM You will pick the right one when you meet them and can evaluate which one you feel is really right for you... and either keep or let the others go... You are strong and bright... Shary2 10/3/99 8:24 AM I'm also not going to allow another Andy in my life. I am so much stronger. I will always reserve the right to walk away from a relationship. I don't think I'll ever give myself so totally again. Keight 10/3/99 8:28 AM I would hope that once you find THE right man, that you would... that is the only way a good relationship could last.... Shary2 10/3/99 8:32 AM After David and Andy, I hope I've learned to value my own individuality enough to never give it up again. A healthy relationship will allow that. Keight 10/3/99 8:33 AM That is for sure, but you still need to be able to allow yourself to give totally to another, not to give up yourself but to totally share yourself Shary2 10/3/99 8:34 AM I believe that is what Daniel expects. We'll see. I am both fascinated by and wary of him. Keight 10/3/99 8:35 AM That would be a time to be discerning and wary... Shary2 10/3/99 8:36 AM I don't know what he looks like and I'm nervous about that for some reason. Keight 10/3/99 8:36 AM You don't have a pic of him...? Shary2 10/3/99 8:39 AM No, he isn't as computer oriented as the others I've met. He doesn't even have one at home ... only at the office. I know he's 5'10" or 5'11", slightly heavyset, and with dark eyes and hair. (I think) Keight 10/3/99 8:41 AM I can see why you would have some hesitation about meeting him when you don't know what he looks like, but like you say,,, you don't have anything invested in him and can walk away at any time... Shary2 10/3/99 8:46 AM I better get at it. That's why I had Cordell bring me home early. I would love to have just stayed there and watched football today, but we have a big contract to fulfill. So ttyl. Keight 10/3/99 8:53 AM TTYL... Love you and ((((((((((((( SHARY ))))))))))))))) Shary2 10/3/99 8:56 AM Last comment before I reboot. If Daniel looked like John -- watch out!!! Bar the door and get out of the way :) Keight 10/3/99 9:01 AM :-))) Go Girl... ! ! ! Shary2 10/5/99 10:00 AM testing Shary2 10/5/99 10:01 AM did you get test? Keight 10/5/99 10:01 AM Hi, Did you get my email???? I have a message for ASPEN but it won't send... it is just sitting here... Keight 10/5/99 10:01 AM Yes and I replied.. Shary2 10/5/99 10:03 AM Aspen is being stubborn ...use this one. I just forwarded the email. Let me know if it comes thru ok because it's in color. Keight 10/5/99 10:04 AM OK, will go check right now.... be right back... Keight 10/5/99 10:06 AM How nice.... It isn't in color, but the words are very much to the point.... It sounds like he is love with you before he meets you (kind of like another situation only in reverse?) Shary2 10/5/99 10:06 AM Or else he just has a hell of a line! Keight 10/5/99 10:09 AM If that is all it was, I would think that he would make you be the one coming to him.... He is almost persuing you (not in an unhealthy way), but it is almost like a love starved young man. If it is line, wouldn't he be making you come to him??? Or maybe I have been out of the dating game too long and have it confused... Shary2 10/5/99 10:10 AM I might just be a challenge to him. I've turned him down a couple of times and told him I would not spend the night with him. But I think I'll be able to tell if he's for real or not. I really would like to go to New York with him next month. But it will depend on Friday. Keight 10/5/99 10:12 AM Friday is coming fairly fast, you know... then like you said, all your questions will be answered... IF he is honest and IF you like him, will you change your mind about sleeping with him? Shary2 10/5/99 10:13 AM If I go to NY with him I will sleep with him, but not Friday. Even if I want to. Leave 'em wanting more :) Keight 10/5/99 10:15 AM You got that right.... You will have a blast, no matter which way you choose, because you are fully aware of the possibilities... Shary2 10/5/99 10:15 AM If I go to NY, I have to do some big time shopping. I'll need a floor length dress, heels, pantyhose ... all that girl stuff. It's a black-tie dance. Shary2 10/5/99 10:15 AM And although I'm anxious to meet him, and I do hope we click, I am not emotionally involved, and I can walk away. Keight 10/5/99 10:16 AM Oh, that could be really fun to do.... Wow, what an opportunity.... Keight 10/5/99 10:16 AM That is so right, that is why you are doing this with your eyes wide open... Shary2 10/5/99 10:16 AM And that's just the beginning. He is also talking about possibly going to London or Paris or South America. He has international clients. Keight 10/5/99 10:18 AM I REALLY HOPE he is exactly what he says he is and this all works out as that once in a lifetime opportunity that turns your life around and makes you the happiest person in the world... You truly deserve it... Shary2 10/5/99 10:20 AM That reminds me of something he said on the phone the other night >>> Keight 10/5/99 10:20 AM What was that? Shary2 10/5/99 10:22 AM He said, "I want to love you, and pamper you, and spoil you just like you deserve. Did you hear that, Shary? The way you DESERVE to be." Shary2 10/5/99 10:23 AM I've not said much about Andy but he knows I've recently come out of a difficult relationship. Keight 10/5/99 10:23 AM Wow, That is really quite a commitment.... Shary2 10/5/99 10:24 AM If what he says is true, he wants a relationship, not a fling. Keight 10/5/99 10:24 AM Maybe that is why he picked up you deserving so much better... If so, then he is either very sensitive or psychic?? Keight 10/5/99 10:25 AM That is what it sounds like.... but if he is honest and all this is for real, then would you want it to only be a fling? Shary2 10/5/99 10:28 AM I don't think that would work. If we click, fit, spark, etc, we'll want the same thing. He does understand that my business is VERY important to me. And if we move to California, that would make it more difficult to see him. Shary2 10/5/99 10:29 AM If we don't go to California, we might move to Virginia next year. That would be nice. Keight 10/5/99 10:29 AM And if you hit, spark, etc.. would you be willing to change your life and fit into his world and not go to CA? Shary2 10/5/99 10:30 AM Nope. All things are subject to change, but as of now I would not consider giving up my business. Keight 10/5/99 10:33 AM Just checking... You most certainly have to and will follow your heart.... and your heart is in your business.... (at this time).. Shary2 10/5/99 10:35 AM Perhaps he can change that, but it's important to me to be my own woman. Cordell was kissing me recently and said, "Are you my baby?" I said, "No, honey, I'm not anybody's baby. You know that." He said, "Yes, I know." Keight 10/5/99 10:36 AM At least you keep it open and up front... that is important... Shary2 10/5/99 10:37 AM I'm anxious to see what he looks like. Like I said before, if he looked like John I'd just send ya'll postcards! Keight 10/5/99 10:40 AM I will be waiting to hear.... and you listen to me --- you had better keep me posted just as soon as you get back from meeting him... you know I will be sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear.... :-)) Shary2 10/5/99 10:40 AM I expect to be home later Friday evening. I'll talk to you Saturday morning. Keight 10/5/99 10:43 AM OK, I will be up early to hear what happened.... don't you dare forget me... :-)) Shary2 10/5/99 10:44 AM No way! Keight 10/5/99 10:46 AM OK, now that we have that taken care of... how is Cordell doing? and did you send John an email, and did he reply back? Shary2 10/5/99 10:47 AM No, didn't write to John let. I think I'm waiting till I see Daniel. There's no rush. Cordell is so sweet. We talked for a few minutes last night. He said he thought about me all day. Keight 10/5/99 10:48 AM At least he is someone you can have fun with and he knows how you feel.... Shary2 10/5/99 10:52 AM Yes, and he is a very nice lover. But if I decide to have a relationship with Daniel I'll probably have to stop seeing Cordell. We/ll just ahve to see. Keight 10/5/99 10:55 AM I wish I had a lover right now.... I am starting to get all "uptight" if you know what I mean... Butch is there, and he wants to make love with me, but I am not real sure I want to continue that kind of relationship with him, if it isn't going to go anywhere... I would like to find someone I can count on being with when I want to be with them.. and do things and go places with them.. Butch likes to stay home and not go anywhere... Shary2 10/5/99 10:59 AM I understand. Even though the situation with Cordell is temporary, we care about each other and enjoy doing things together. It's not about sex. That's just a nice bonus. Keight 10/5/99 11:01 AM That is the kind of relationship I would love to have.... I hope I find it soon... I may take up the offers of some of these jerks that only want sex... just for letting down some of the built up sexual energies... But I would much rather have a relationship with someone for other things too. Shary2 10/5/99 11:04 AM I need to conference with Rodona for a few minutes. ttyl Keight 10/5/99 11:04 AM Great TTYL too.. Shary2 10/5/99 5:50 PM u there? Keight 10/5/99 5:50 PM HI yes I am Shary2 10/5/99 5:50 PM I just got the neatest email from Daniel. >>>>> Keight 10/5/99 5:51 PM tell me about it.... Shary2 10/5/99 5:51 PM He told me in an earlier email that he would call me at 10 tonight. I sent him an email saying : Two things to look forward to: 10:00 Friday Life is good :) Shary2 10/5/99 5:52 PM He wrote back and said "I am looking forward to you." Keight 10/5/99 5:53 PM Wow, that is neat.... he really sounds genuine... but you will have to see when you meet him.... GOD I wish I were a mouse in your pocket on Friday... or a fly on the wall or something.... Shary2 10/5/99 5:54 PM That's exactly what Shannon said. I have to count a file for Rodona. Will be back in a few. Keight 10/5/99 5:54 PM Oh, Yeah, get me all excited and then leave... sure ! ! :-)) LMAO Shary2 10/5/99 6:07 PM I had to count 382 leads. I'm back now. Shary2 10/5/99 6:07 PM He's sounding more real all the time, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. Keight 10/5/99 6:12 PM damn that isp netcom... keeps going down on me and i am getting very frustrated.... any suggestions would be gladly accepted.... anyway as I had started to say when so rudely interrupted.... he is beginning to sound pretty genuine to me too... maybe you will be able to tell more by his voice when he calls Shary2 10/5/99 6:13 PM No way! His voice does me in :) Keight 10/5/99 6:13 PM Dreamy voice too....? Wow what a deal you have... Shary2 10/5/99 6:17 PM sexy voice, smooth, sophisticated, soothing Keight 10/5/99 6:17 PM What more could you ask for??? I wish I had that here... Shary2 10/5/99 6:19 PM What more could you ask for??? ANSWER: Sincerity (Not going to fall till I know he's not snowing me.) Wouldn't hurt a bit if he looked like Tom Seleck. Keight 10/5/99 6:21 PM Well, I am drooling anyway... Even without seeing him... :-)) Yes you are right and I am just voicing my own frustration in not having someone here to meet and be my prince in shining armor.... Shary2 10/5/99 6:25 PM I'm looking forward to talking to him tonight. We usually just talk for a few minutes, but he always has something nice to say. Keight 10/5/99 6:26 PM What a way to go to sleep, with kind sweet words to replay and dream about... Keight 10/5/99 6:36 PM I am going to bed now and see if I can dream up a sweet wonderful man of my own... :-)) Friday is one day nearer and you will finally be able to meet your prince charming in person... hope he looks twice as good and JOHN and is totally honest and sincere... Keight 10/7/99 10:14 AM Guess where I am going tonight.... ? Shary2 10/7/99 10:14 AM Tell me! Keight 10/7/99 10:17 AM Going to St Maries to visit Butch for the night.... I just told him that I really needed to visit him and spend the night with him and he said he was probably as horny as I am... So he promised to devote 100% to tonight and I think you might hear us in TN :-)) Shary2 10/7/99 10:18 AM I probably won't blush, but I might have to call Cordell :) Keight 10/7/99 10:20 AM :-)) We will see if we can get it that far... just put Cordell on the alert... :-)) I can't believe how horney I have been getting, never like this when Vic was around... Shary2 10/7/99 10:21 AM No reason to when he was around. I didn't with David either because there was nothing to turn me on knowing he wasn't interested. Keight 10/7/99 10:23 AM That must be what it is... It is an all the time feeling, but it just so strong at times that it drives me wild... May I ask you a VERY PERSONAL question??? Shary2 10/7/99 10:23 AM Yes, of course. Shary2 10/7/99 10:24 AM With sex ... the more I get, the more I want. The longer I go without, the less I care. Keight 10/7/99 10:25 AM Do you masturbate??? The reason I ask, it that a doctor recommended it to me many years ago, just to keep me from going bananas, and Butch wants me to and the guy in Vancouver wanted me to.... I have and it really doesn't satisfy me that much... I would much rather have a man there in person... does that make sense...? Keight 10/7/99 10:26 AM Maybe that is what I am feeling, I am getting it now and want more, but how do you get past the STRONG urges until it subsides..? Shary2 10/7/99 10:29 AM I have a vibrator which gives me a quick climax when I use it. I rarely masturbate by hand. Just doesn't turn me on much. Keight 10/7/99 10:32 AM That is what I find... Butch helped me pick out a vibrator and that doesn't even do much good (feels great) but I guess I would just rather have a real person there... Oh well, at least tonight that will be the case.... Butch has found another lady he is waiting to have come visit him, but he promised to devote tonight 100% to me... He has some catfish I am going to cook for supper.... what would go good with it..? Shary2 10/7/99 10:33 AM Cornbread, salad, vegie. Keight 10/7/99 10:36 AM That sounds really good. I bet I can pick up one of those Jiffy Cornbread mixes and make it here and take it there.... (I don't like to use his oven, 'cause I don't know how it bakes) Thank you for the ideas... Shary2 10/7/99 10:41 AM You're welcome. You have a great weekend. I'll let you know when I hear from Daniel. Keight 10/7/99 10:43 AM You better, I will be back tomorrow... and will be waiting with bated breathe..... Send out mentals and see if I can pick them up... :-)) Shary2 10/7/99 10:46 AM ok Keight 10/7/99 10:47 AM You are great at telepathic communications and I am not too bad, so we should be able to make this work... at least we will see..?? :-)) Keight 10/7/99 10:49 AM Would you like a pic of Butch and his two kids? Shary2 10/7/99 11:43 AM sure Keight 10/8/99 2:26 PM Say, Pretty Lady - What is going on with Daniel... Haven't heard if you are meeting him or not... He didn't sound sure what was happening last I heard... Shary2 10/8/99 2:27 PM Not this weekend. And Cordell is working all weekend. Daniel called last night but unable to reschedule till he knows where this new deal is going. Shary2 10/8/99 2:28 PM Are you still at Butch's? Keight 10/8/99 2:33 PM Ain't that the shi_s...??? No I am home, came home this AM... nothing happened last night for me.... He is going through some really tough stuff and is "down" mentally and spiritually and emotionally, then he drank a schnapps in hot cocoa before bed. it made him sleepy. we were going to try anal sex, but that didn't work too well, so he asked if I would do a blow job on him. I did and that was all he could take. I mean it was good for him Shary2 10/8/99 2:35 PM Sounds pretty awful, really. This just isn't our weekend! I'm getting a lot of work done though and Rodona invited me over for dinner so it's not a complete loss. I have got to get a car soon. Keight 10/8/99 2:35 PM with Vic he had me give him a blow job one time and held my head and forced me to take the semen in the mouth... I was angry and never did it again... I told Butch about that and he said that he thought I could do it if it was done right. So I did it and he didn't hold my head at all, and he said it was the BEST one he had ever had (from Dixie-his exwife) and he liked all the things she did... So I felt really good about it... Keight 10/8/99 2:36 PM Cordell is going to help you get a car, right? Shary2 10/8/99 2:37 PM He has his brother-in-law looking for one. I have the money now and hope to have a car within the next 2 weeks. That will also make it easier to see Daniel if we decide to try again. Shary2 10/8/99 2:37 PM I hate anal sex. Tried it once on purpose and Dick slipped in once by accident. Never again. Keight 10/8/99 2:39 PM You know something I am finding about using ICQ? Remember how you and David had said I should be counseling? Well, on ICQ I have gone open for random and found so many new people and have been doing a lot of counseling for people who had ill spouses, who have lost loved ones, who have lost the meaning of the universe and god, who just need someone to share some of their most secret parts of their lives with someone who will listen. Shary2 10/8/99 2:39 PM I enjoy giving oral sex but won't swallow. Shary2 10/8/99 2:39 PM Wow! That's great! It's good for them and good for you. Keight 10/8/99 2:40 PM I didn't swallow, I spit it out, but at least I took it in the mouth, which is a big step for me... Vic tried to force anal sex on me once and I didn't like it, but I still want to try it again to see if it could be different with someone else... I still may not like it, but at least I want to try.... Shary2 10/8/99 2:42 PM That's the only way to find out. It sounds like Vic was a bit of a bully in bed. Keight 10/8/99 2:42 PM It is amazing to me, who comes "to my home" I always welcome them off random that way and for the most part have gotten very nice people... I will send you a letter I just got from a lady in Lebanon that chatted with me yesterday for the first time... I wish I could send you the chat file too.. With all the killing over there she has lost her faith in god and is looking for someone to discuss this with.... Shary2 10/8/99 2:43 PM Daniel sounds like a tender lover. I hope he is IF we ever get together and I decide to go to bed with him. Shary2 10/8/99 2:43 PM I'm proud of you. Keight 10/8/99 2:45 PM He was when he wanted it his way... Which was actually quite often (I have realized this more and more recently). Butch really chewed me out last night (tenderly and caringly) about being careful when I try to find someone else to make love with.. I told him I am like a virgin of sorts because I don't know what to look for to be careful, I trust people (and want to trust them) and like the guy in Vancouver BC, he sounded so nice. Shary2 10/8/99 2:47 PM It's better to have the attitude of not really trusting anyone till they earn it. But I know that is hard for you. I think I'm learning ... slowly:) Keight 10/8/99 2:47 PM It wasn't until I got there that I found out what a jerk he was.... By the time I decided he was a jerk it was too late to do to much about it at the time... I had to wait until I could get him to let me out before I could leave... He had a drawer full of "toys" and all types of stuff and said he hadn't had a woman for a long time... excuse me... then why all the toys...? Oh, well that experience is behind me.. Keight 10/8/99 2:48 PM I may be learning, but it is not something I want to learn to apply to everyone and become synical about people. I would have people like Butch in my life that can be trusted Shary2 10/8/99 2:49 PM That's why it's a good idea to meet first in a public place. I did let Jacques pick me up at home when we went to dinner the other night, but I prefer a "coffee" meeting first so I have an escape route. Of course, the guy does too that way in case I'm not what he expects. Shary2 10/8/99 2:50 PM There is a difference betweem being cynical and being cautious though. Keight 10/8/99 2:52 PM When I met Fred in Vancouver, it was at a public park at the border, lots of people around and we supposed to have a picnic and I was starved (hadn't eaten since before I left).. He didn't have the stuff for the picnic and wanted to go right to his place.... At that point, I had gone there to have a sexual encounter and so I agreed and that is when it really started going downhill. Keight 10/8/99 2:53 PM I am trying to learn the steps of caution... It is harder without someone that you can trust to help teach you those steps, but I am learning (slowly) Shary2 10/8/99 2:53 PM I had forgotten about the picnic. Started off right anyway. Shary2 10/8/99 2:55 PM I try to make it a point to never have sex at the first meeting. I did with Andy but that was a bit different. It could possibly happen with Daniel ... I don't know. It's always possible to change your mind and it's a much safer plan of action. Keight 10/8/99 2:55 PM I probably won't meet anyone with the idea of having a sexual encounter again... and if I do, I will make sure that we have met and gotten to know each other first, before making that kind of commitment... That was my lesson this time... Keight 10/8/99 2:56 PM That is what I have decided too. Shary2 10/8/99 2:57 PM If Daniel is too insistent then I'll say know just to assert myself. But if I want to have sex and he isn't pushy about it, then I will. But it has to be my choice. Keight 10/8/99 4:08 PM Sounds delicious.... I fixed the catfish last night at Butch's and it was good too... never cooked catfish before.... cooked it like I used to cook trout and it was OK.... had apple muffins with it and corn and mashed potatoes with butter instead of gravy. It sounded like everyone liked it... Shary2 10/8/99 4:40 PM I had a great dinner at Rodona's. Joe cooked salmon, tuna and swordfish steaks on the outdoor grill. Yummy. Plus salad and broccoli. What a feast! Shary2 10/9/99 2:20 PM Hi ... You there? Shary2 10/9/99 3:03 PM helllo, hello Keight 10/9/99 3:08 PM Hey, Hi... Just got home - getting ready to do the wrap... took before pics and will take after pics too. I will send them when I get them on the computer. Shary2 10/9/99 3:08 PM great .... is this the second wrop? Shary2 10/9/99 3:08 PM I mean wrap :) Keight 10/9/99 3:10 PM I like the first wrop.... :-)) no this is the first one... Do you remember how many inches I went down with yours? Shary2 10/9/99 3:11 PM I'm thinking 9. Does that sound right? Wish I knew for sure. Talk to me after your wrap .... I don't want to hold things up. I had a great day. Keight 10/9/99 3:13 PM I think that may have been after the first wrap, but I was wondering if you remember the final total? Shary2 10/9/99 3:14 PM No, sorry. Let me know how this one goes. Enjoy it. I WANT DANIEL TO CALL ME TONIGHT !!!!!!! Keight 10/9/99 3:14 PM ME TOO ! ! ! Glad you had a good day, want to share? Shary2 10/9/99 3:15 PM Got time? Keight 10/9/99 3:16 PM Sure, I am just going on a split screen chat, but he knows I am talking with you too. Shary2 10/9/99 3:17 PM It rained hard all night long. We needed it desperatelly. I slept like a rock. I love the sound of rain at night. I woke up in a great mood and my energy level is especially high today. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (That means "more to come") Shary2 10/9/99 3:18 PM I got the computers all started early and went back to my room and spent an hour going thru the Blair catalog and ordered a bunch of new clothes. I don't have any winter clothing. >>>>> Shary2 10/9/99 3:19 PM The Lynda and Bill let me use their van for a couple of hours and I went grocery shopping and went to Blockbuster and rented some videos. Shary2 10/9/99 3:20 PM This afternoon I went to Fort Campbell with Lynda and Bill and boys for the Soldier Show. It is a stage show featuring all army entertainers. They were terrific. They tour the country entertaining at all the army posts. Shary2 10/9/99 3:21 PM Daniel has been in my head all day long. I want to meet him!!! I can see us spending quiet weekends in Lexington when we aren't doing something else. I'm so anxious to see Zaramus too. Shary2 10/9/99 3:21 PM finished :) Keight 10/9/99 3:22 PM who is Zaramus? You really did have a wonderful day... wow... Shary2 10/9/99 3:23 PM Zaramus is the Arabian mare Daniel said he would give me. Keight 10/9/99 3:24 PM Oh, I didn't know her name.... that is so neat... you are starting to really get into this man, be careful.... Shary2 10/9/99 3:25 PM Yes, I know! Keight 10/9/99 3:25 PM I certainly don't blame you tho. Shary2 10/9/99 3:26 PM I want to meet him soon before I over-commit and then find out I don't like him. Make sense? Keight 10/9/99 3:27 PM Yes it does make sense.... I know how easy it is to let go and be in love before you realize it... Shary2 10/9/99 3:28 PM I'm going to go look at car ads in the paper. Enjoy your wrap. Who is doing it for you? Keight 10/9/99 3:28 PM DAWN... here at home... Shary2 10/9/99 3:28 PM Well, have fun! Let me know when you finish. Keight 10/9/99 3:29 PM Will do... thanks - have a great evening... Shary2 10/10/99 6:20 AM r u there? Keight 10/10/99 6:22 AM I is here.... r u there? Shary2 10/10/99 6:23 AM I'm so glad you're there. First, how did the wrap (wrop) to? Shary2 10/10/99 6:23 AM "go" not "to" crazy fingers Keight 10/10/99 6:25 AM Didn't do it last night, watched the video and it says that it energizes you and it was so late when we got to a point of being able to do it, that I didn't want to be energized.. I have the "stuff" on the stove now, cooling and (Dawn stayed here last night) when she gets up, we will do it this AM. Shary2 10/10/99 6:26 AM Sounds llike a good plan. Shary2 10/10/99 6:27 AM Daniel called about 10:45 and we talked for neaarly an hour. (I'm getting double letters and don't want to take time to backspace and correct them all so bear with me.) >>> Shary2 10/10/99 6:27 AM Then he called at 4 this morning!!! Said he woke up so aarroused he couldn't sleep and we talked till 5. Keight 10/10/99 6:29 AM So, when are you going to get together...??? (Don't mind the typing, I can figure it out), I would be turned on pretty good now too, if I were in your place. Shary2 10/10/99 6:31 AM I'd be on my way now if I had a car. This is so frustrating. I'm going to try to get a caar in the morning aand see him tomorrow. But it's aaa holiday and this town reallly shuts down. Not a single car rental place is open after noon on Saturday and forget Sunday. Keight 10/10/99 6:32 AM I got a problem on my computer and have to take it down and bring it right back up, can you give me a couple of minutes to do that, Please... I want to hear every detail... Shary2 10/10/99 6:32 AM I'll be here. Keight 10/10/99 6:32 AM Can't he come to get you? Shary2 10/10/99 6:33 AM It's 4 hours from here to Lexington. Keight 10/10/99 6:35 AM So, does it take longer for you to drive there than for him to drive to you? Shary2 10/10/99 6:43 AM We would meet someplace in between. Even if I went all the way to Lexington, I would only have to make a round trip. If he came here, we'd at least have to go to Nashville which is another hour. Shary2 10/10/99 6:45 AM Did you get my answer? Keight 10/10/99 6:45 AM Would Rhodona let you borrow the van to go to Nashville? I guess I am a problem solver and I always try to find solutions, even when it isn't MY problem... sorry, don't mean to interfere. Keight 10/10/99 6:45 AM yes and I replied... Shary2 10/10/99 6:46 AM The van is the only "family" vehicle they have. Joe has a small truck for going to work. They have 2 boys in school who both play soccer ... on different teams. So they can't be without the van for any more than an hour or two at a time. Shary2 10/10/99 6:48 AM The solution is for me to get a car ASAP. Daniel wants me to get a Saturn because they handle well, have a good safety record, get great gas mileage, and haave front wheel drive, importanat in snow country. Shary2 10/10/99 6:49 AM Out of my price range though, and he hasn't offered to help. I woulldn't want him to either. Too much commitment in something like that. He told me last night he is going to make me his. We had quite a discussion about that. He is very persistent. I'll have to be careful with him. Keight 10/10/99 6:49 AM Well, I would say that if Daniel is as crazy about you as he says then he should be able to get to you, go to Nashville and back home. Why should you go to all the work of finding a way to get to him? I did it for Butch and for the guy in BC, because I could. But if I had problems getting to them, I think they should make an effort to get to me... See if he can't arrange to have a car sent to you, if he has all the money.. Shary2 10/10/99 6:50 AM This does give him an oportunity to show he's serious about seeing me :) Keight 10/10/99 6:51 AM Well, the one way he can make you his is to give you reason to be totally and completely in LOVE with him so you won't want to be away from him.... and I don't see that happening this soon... (right?) Shary2 10/10/99 6:52 AM Right. I told him he might get my body but my heart wasn't aavailable. Keight 10/10/99 6:53 AM Yes, it does give him the opportunity to prove how genuine he is... It is as much his responsibility to find a solution as it is yours.. and especially in that he wants to make you his... Then take care of you properly... Send you a limo and have it bring you to him... Shary2 10/10/99 6:54 AM He thinks he's in love ... I just think he's horny! Keight 10/10/99 6:54 AM You have a chance right now to make him either put up or shut up.... Keight 10/10/99 6:56 AM You could be absolutely right... He could even have someone pick you up and take you to Nashville to meet him there... You have all sorts of options to present him with and if he is genuinely as well to do as he talks, then it shouldn't be a problem for him. Shary2 10/10/99 6:56 AM Well, it will be interesting. He is clear about waanting a monogamous relationship. Very clear. Haas made lots of promises. But just what are promises worth? Keight 10/10/99 6:57 AM promises aren't worth the "paper" they are written on... or in this case the "spit" it takes to make them. challenge him and his commitment Shary2 10/10/99 6:58 AM I really want my own transportation. It gives me more control. I would rather meet him someplace if it is possible. That woulld be more comfortablle for me. If a car is availllable tomorrow we might get to meet then. Otherwise it will be at least next weekend. No point in him coming here. Keight 10/10/99 7:00 AM Like I said, I only think of different solutions and it really isn't my place to do that anyway.... you of course know more about what is best... I just get carried away with thinking too much... Guess where I am going today? Hint, St Maries - :-)) Shary2 10/10/99 7:00 AM No kidding! How did that come about? Keight 10/10/99 7:04 AM Not for "being" together... he loaned me his digital camera and I need to return it. Then I had written him a letter that I want to discuss with him. So it will only be impersonal visiting.... But I still like to see him.... Shary2 10/10/99 7:05 AM I miss the digital camera I had at David's. It was so much fun. BTW he called me yesterday because Lin has been doing some mailing for us and their check was a littllle late. He got really nasty about it. Keight 10/10/99 7:07 AM I can remember how nasty he can get. that was really uncalled for. He knows you get things out the best you can... what a turkey.. Shary2 10/10/99 7:08 AM I've wanted to do whatever possiblle to help Lin, and have given lots of my time but I won't mind if I never talk to David again. Keight 10/10/99 7:09 AM I don't blame you Shary2 10/10/99 7:10 AM I need to get working, but will let you know when I hear from Daniel again. Keight 10/10/99 7:12 AM Ok, I truly send you love and hope Daniel works out to meet all your dreams.... Have a beautiful day and keep that wonderful smile of yours... :-)) Shary2 10/10/99 7:12 AM Thanks :) LLet me know when you finish the wrap. I'lll be online most of the day. Keight 10/10/99 7:13 AM Will do... taking measurements right now.... Will let you know what the results are.... Keight 10/10/99 11:11 AM Just finished the wrop.....(wrap) and dropped off 12 1/2 inches over all. Dawn had problems wrapping me (dropping the towels, couldn't hold the towels together and wrap the plastic wrap at the same time) and kept blaming everything else, but by the time it was all done, I was cold and so were the towels... I think it would have worked better (more inches lost) if someone else had done it. Shary2 10/10/99 11:59 AM Sounds like you got good results though. It's difficult to work with. I did Rodona and it's nowhere as easy to do as the oil wrap. Keight 10/10/99 6:43 PM Gee, I didn't think it showed that much... Well, I guess he sort of made up for Thursday night.. Oh, and how did he make up for it... Now he is leaving town for two weeks and I guess that will have to hold me until he returns. :-)) What is going on with Daniel? Keight 10/10/99 7:09 PM Just got back from visiting Butch :-))))) Smiling all the way.... Shary2 10/10/99 7:36 PM Ooooh! Something tells me you did more than return the camera :) Keight 10/10/99 7:36 PM Is it the smile that gave it away? Or the song in the voice? :-)) Shary2 10/10/99 7:37 PM all of the above Shary2 10/10/99 7:45 PM I just talked with him. I'm going to see if I can get a car in the morning. If so, we'll meet somewhere between here and Lexington. Keight 10/10/99 7:48 PM Excited? (naw, I can tell you are cool as a cucumber -speaking of which, I hear they have quite a few good uses too.) When Dawn was wrapping me this AM she wanted to know if you wrap a man, does his penis shrink? Shary2 10/10/99 7:49 PM I've never done a before and after measurement on a penis! :) Shary2 10/10/99 7:49 PM wrap or otherwise :) Keight 10/10/99 7:50 PM They are definitely smaller "after" but I don't know about a wrap...:-)) Shary2 10/10/99 7:50 PM I'm tired so I'm going to hit the sheets. I want to get a good night's sleep just in case I go tomorrow. Shary2 10/10/99 7:50 PM tee hee hee Keight 10/10/99 7:57 PM Got my pics if you want them... can send them tomorrow... Keight 10/11/99 4:51 AM :-)) That is exciting..... Certainly hope it all turns out to be a dream come true.... Do you have any idea what time? Well, if you aren't excited, I certainly am :-)) Keight 10/11/99 5:43 AM Wearing clothes that were too tight is a gift in itself... Shary2 10/11/99 5:43 AM u there? Shary2 10/11/99 5:46 AM I have a rental car waiting for me and I'm waiting for Daniel to call. This might be the day :) He had some things that he had to do this morning and will call as soon as he can check his voice mail. I'm not excited. Nope. And bees don't like honey. Shary2 10/11/99 5:57 AM I'm practically sitting here with my hand on the phone waiting for him to call. Keight 10/11/99 5:57 AM I know the feeling - kinda like a teen girl waiting for her boyfriend to ask her out...? Shary2 10/11/99 6:05 AM More like waiting for him to show up :) Keight 10/11/99 6:05 AM That too, but you got the visual... so funny :-)) Shary2 10/11/99 6:08 AM If he doesn't call soon, I'm going to pop! Keight 10/11/99 6:09 AM Then to take you mind off of things, would you like the pics of b4 and after the wrap? Shary2 10/11/99 6:15 AM PLEASE!!! Keight 10/11/99 6:18 AM OK... Shary2 10/11/99 6:23 AM Keep taking pictures if you can use the camera. A series would be good. Where was your greatest loss. Keight 10/11/99 6:24 AM Hips 2 1/2 and Bust 2 Shary2 10/11/99 6:24 AM wonderful Keight 10/11/99 6:26 AM Also, went down 1 1/2 on the right thigh. There is another set of pics - different view I will send... I am going to continue taking pics after each wrap... also keeping track of the inches off. Shary2 10/11/99 6:30 AM It will be so much fun for you to look aack at the pics after you have had half a dozen wraps. Keight 10/11/99 6:32 AM I know, I am excited.... It doesn't show much now, but it will.... I have a pair of black jeans I want to get into by my birthday... Shary2 10/11/99 6:33 AM That's a good kind of goal. Keight 10/11/99 6:34 AM I figure if I KISS the goal will be easier to reach.. Shary2 10/11/99 6:34 AM always -- and I have a problem with complicating things so I need to remember that Keight 10/11/99 6:35 AM Me too, that is why I decided to do it this time and help make it all work the right way... I am going to be HWP (or at least close to it) Shary2 10/11/99 6:36 AM Good for you. I'm only about 20 pounds away from my goal now. Shary2 10/11/99 6:37 AM How is Dawn's weight now? She had put on a lot of extra pounds the last time I saw her. Keight 10/11/99 6:37 AM You are so beautiful, how could you need to get rid of pounds? It is great that you have set a goal and are almost there, but I just don't see how you could lose that much and still be visible... Shary2 10/11/99 6:39 AM I want to get rid of the roll around my waist. I detest it! Also my face is a bit too full and I'll take a bit off my boobs in the process. And, the best part, I'll be able to get into some of my clothes that I can't wear now. Keight 10/11/99 6:39 AM In the job she has, she has exercised off quite a bit of it... there are some pics that Butch didn't take time to send home (wait he did too - I just didn't get them on the computer) Let me go set them up and I will send you one of her taken a couple of days ago. Shary2 10/11/99 6:39 AM thanks Shary2 10/11/99 6:39 AM I'm going to restart the computer. |Be back in a few. Shary2 10/11/99 9:58 AM Daniel did not call. I am thoroughly pissed. I sent him a nasty-gram and I'm leaving -- in my rented car -- to go play. Keight 10/11/99 9:59 AM Wow, I wonder why he didn't call? Well, you just enjoy your day and have fun playing... Let me know later what happens... Shary2 10/11/99 10:00 AM Nothing is going to happen with him !!! But I'll tell you about my day later. Not sure what all I'll do. Maybe go to the mall. I'm going to look at cars too. Keight 10/11/99 10:01 AM That sounds like a plan... Maybe you can find a good car for yourself and not have to keep renting one.... Shary2 10/11/99 10:03 AM ttyl Keight 10/11/99 10:04 AM Let me know when you get back... Shary2 10/11/99 10:06 AM will do Keight 10/11/99 10:06 AM BYE Shary2 10/11/99 2:31 PM This is where I am right now. Keight 10/11/99 2:32 PM Has he responded back to your email? Shary2 10/11/99 2:33 PM I just sent it a few minutes ago. Keight 10/11/99 2:34 PM Did you find a car? Shary2 10/11/99 2:34 PM I'm thinking about leasing. I'm looking at different cars on the net right now. Keight 10/11/99 2:35 PM I hear you can get some good deals that way... What about Cordell's brother? Shary2 10/11/99 2:37 PM I haven't talked to Cordell in a few days. I'm thinking about calling him and asking him if he'd like to go to a movie tonight. Keight 10/11/99 2:38 PM That would be a good idea... tend to take care of a couple of things 1. see about a vehicle and 2. take your mind off Daniel for a while... Shary2 10/11/99 2:40 PM I just IM'd with Daniel. He said he is very, very sorry ... blah, blah, blah. He has people in the office right now and can't call and will call me later tonight. yeah, right! If I don't get hold of Cordell, I might go to a movie by myself. Keight 10/11/99 2:41 PM Good idea Shary2 10/11/99 2:56 PM I just talked to Cordell. He hasn't been able to call because his computer crashed and that's where he had my number. He's been wanting to call me for several days. But he has to work tonight. Dang! Keight 10/11/99 3:00 PM So are you going to go by yourself? Shary2 10/11/99 3:01 PM Haven't decided yet. Probably not because I have some videos here that I rented Saturday and have to return on Wednesday. Keight 10/11/99 3:02 PM Then maybe that is where you should focus your attention... But don't keep listening for the phone to ring... Shary2 10/11/99 3:04 PM I may not answer it if it does. And if I do see him sometime it will be much closer to Clarksville. Keight 10/11/99 3:05 PM Go Girl... But now you need to calm down and stop that adrenalin from flowing so much.... Shary2 10/11/99 3:05 PM Yep :) Keight 10/12/99 8:13 AM So, what's going on? Shary2 10/12/99 12:51 PM Just walked in ... will chat with you laterr. Keight 10/12/99 12:51 PM OK, whenever you are ready Shary2 10/12/99 6:49 PM Daniel called. Keight 10/12/99 6:49 PM AND????? Don't keep me in suspense like this..... :-)) Shary2 10/12/99 6:49 PM I was just checking to see if you were there :) >>> Shary2 10/12/99 6:50 PM He said he was very sorry, that I was right, that he should at least have hit reply and let me know there was an emergency. >>>>> Shary2 10/12/99 6:51 PM He said he thought it would be over more quickly than it was and that he would be able to call much sooner. >>> Shary2 10/12/99 6:51 PM He thought I had some things to do that would take me awhile. But by the time he was free, I was gone. He accepted all responsibility. Shary2 10/12/99 6:52 PM gotta reboot Keight 10/12/99 7:07 PM Do you have any suggestions - my server took down ICQ while I was getting ready to send a message to a gal in utah who was telling me she had me raped by someone at work.... When I got ICQ back up I sent her another message and it won't go through... She sent me another message saying she thought she freaked me out I tried to get a chat and it is all froze up... what can I do.... Shary2 10/12/99 7:09 PM reboot your computer Keight 10/12/99 7:09 PM OK, thanks... be right back... Keight 10/12/99 7:24 PM Got her back... Thanks a million... She was sexually assaulted not only once but twice, he got fired and then harassed her and she had him arrested... but she is questioning life at this point.... Keight 10/13/99 5:39 AM AMEN to that... I truly hope he is sincere (for your sake as well as his).. :-)) If he ins't, he may have met his first match with a real TIGER... :-))) Keight 10/13/99 6:14 AM Good AM Pretty Lady, and how goes it today? Did Daniel call last night? I got Jean back last night and she is such a neat lady.. she just needed some outside reminders of what she already had inside of her... Know how that goes? Shary2 10/13/99 6:30 AM Hi ... Daniel called. It was a subdued call but basically friendly. I'm not sure where it is going ... or if it is going anywhere, but at least it is still open. He was very tired when he called and said he would call again today. Keight 10/13/99 6:32 AM You are going to see about your car today though aren't you? Are you going to rent another car to go to the dealership? Daniel sounds like he was either very tired or maybe he is very moody.. Shary2 10/13/99 6:33 AM No, he wasn't being especially moody. But our last communication was when I landed on himwith both feet so I think he was feeling his way. He does sound sincere, but I never knew a good con artist who didn't. :) Shary2 10/13/99 6:45 AM My preference has not changed. Keight 10/13/99 6:47 AM Didn't think it had... but if he is not sincere, he may be in for a rather big surprise for you are not a lady to be treated like that. Shary2 10/13/99 6:48 AM Damn straight! I'm going to go shower while I wait to hear about my car. I have to take the rental back in a couple of hours. Shary2 10/13/99 6:49 AM Damn straight! I'm going to go shower while I wait to hear about my car. I have to take the rental back in a couple of hours. Shary2 10/13/99 1:40 PM I got my car :) Keight 10/13/99 1:41 PM HOORRRAAAYYY - THE Honda?? Yippeee..... ! ! ! ! Shary2 10/13/99 1:41 PM It's so exciting! Keight 10/13/99 1:42 PM Take me for a ride??? Shary2 10/13/99 1:43 PM You betcha! Keight 10/13/99 1:44 PM Let's go, Girl .... :-)) Shary2 10/13/99 1:47 PM I was gone most of yesterday, and again most of today. I worked till 3:30 this morning on a special project. Have to do it again tonight. Then I can relax. Keight 10/13/99 1:51 PM You better get some rest... congratulations Shary2 10/13/99 1:55 PM Thanks! Keight 10/13/99 1:56 PM You bet,,, talk to you later... then we can go for a ride... Shary2 10/14/99 6:06 AM Where is the article does it say you will be deleled? Did I just miss it? Keight 10/14/99 6:12 AM I didn't see it there either... I received that this AM and am checking out the AOL and ICQ websites to see if I can find anything. I read the article before I sent it out and feel that what will happen is that AOL will build the client base HIGH and then start charging. Then those who don't want to pay will be deleted and they will still have a large client base... I will let you know what I find out... HI... How is that new car? Shary2 10/14/99 6:19 AM I love it! Keight 10/14/99 12:54 PM So how is the new car riding? Shary2 10/14/99 12:55 PM Like a magic carpet :) Might see Daniel tomorrow! He's supposed to call me tonight after 10, but said he would like to meet tomorrow. Keight 10/14/99 12:56 PM You been out test driving.... ?? Shary2 10/14/99 12:57 PM I just did a little running around today, but might get it out on the road tomorrow. Keight 10/14/99 12:58 PM How long would it take you to get from TN to Spokane???? :-))) LOL So you might see Daniel tomorrow? WE will see, huh? Shary2 10/14/99 12:59 PM Yes, I'm really going to put him to the test with this one :) Keight 10/14/99 1:00 PM Good for you.... Don't let him get away with a thing... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 1:02 PM You know I was going to make him come to me. But I have had a very different thought :) Curious? Keight 10/14/99 1:03 PM You know that my curoisity always gets the best of me.... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 1:03 PM I'm working on something so will explain my "plan" in pieces, ok? Keight 10/14/99 1:04 PM You know the suspense is killing me ::-) Shary2 10/14/99 1:05 PM Lexington is only about an hour further than I had already planned to go last time. Maybe a bit further than that. Keight 10/14/99 1:05 PM AND ???? Shary2 10/14/99 1:05 PM I'm going to tell him I want to come to Lexington instead of meeting him in between. Keight 10/14/99 1:06 PM Will he go for it??? He should if he has half a brain... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 1:07 PM He won't if he has been lying to me or if he has something to hide. Keight 10/14/99 1:08 PM That's for sure... Shary2 10/14/99 1:10 PM After the way Andy lied about so many things, I want to be very sure the same thing does not happen again. I want to see the horses and his house, maybe his office. Keight 10/14/99 1:10 PM That is a great idea... he certainly can't hide all that... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 1:14 PM If he does not want me in Lexington, there has to be a reason. Not acceptable. Keight 10/14/99 1:15 PM You got that totally and completely right.... Shary2 10/14/99 1:16 PM I can hardly wait for him to call tonight so I can hit him with this idea :) Put up or shut up time. Keight 10/14/99 1:17 PM I would like to be a mouse on your pillow when you present him with the idea.... Shary2 10/14/99 1:20 PM I'm going to email him. He will probably get to check his email before he calls me. That does give him a chance to come up with an "excuse", but it also allows me to be very careful in just how I present it. It's an acceptable trade-off. Keight 10/14/99 1:21 PM Oh, but the element of surprise can be heard in the voice if he isn't prepared for the surprise... You can tell more in his voice than waiting for him to find an excuse. Shary2 10/14/99 1:22 PM You do have a point there. Perhaps I'll write it out for my own benefit to get my "presoentation" in order. I'm not trying to trap him. I want very much for him to be for real. But I need to know. Keight 10/14/99 1:25 PM It is good to write out and use it to tell him, but when you hear his voice, if he hesitates, doubt, you will have a better "feel" for what is going on... You aren't trapping him, you are protecting yourself... Shary2 10/14/99 1:30 PM yep! If he says to really wants to show me Elizabethtown or Bardstown or take me shopping there (our original meeting ideas), I'll tell him I really want to see Lexington and the things that are part of his life. Then we can go to one of the other towns and I will drive home from there. Keight 10/14/99 1:31 PM Good plan.... Shary2 10/14/99 1:39 PM I must admit I am truly excited about meeting him. BUT I am not going to be taken in by him. I'll be very careful. Lynda asked me today if I would like to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Daniel told me before he wants us to be together. I JUST NEED TO KNOW! Keight 10/14/99 1:41 PM I think you will find out tonight... Shary2 10/14/99 1:45 PM I believe I will. Send me good positive thoughts :) As I said in the beginning, if he is genuine he is dream material. But if he isn't I need to get on with my life and leave him in the dust. Jacques wants me to go out with him on Saturday. Keight 10/14/99 1:46 PM Jacques, who is he? Shary2 10/14/99 1:48 PM The French Canadian who lives south of Nashville. (I'm north of Nashville.) I went to dinner with him last week. He wants to go for a drive and take me to lunch and dinner. If I go it will be just a drive and dinner, not lunch. Can't confirm till I talk to Daniel tonight. Keight 10/14/99 1:50 PM Everything seems to hang in the balance of Daniel... what's up with that..? What would happen if you made him meet you on your terms? Today or tomorrow... ? Why are you waiting for him to make the calls? Shary2 10/14/99 1:57 PM I will see him tomorrow if he agrees to my coming to Lexington. He already told me if wants to see me tomorrow. If he reneges, then I will go with Jacques on Saturday. But if I have a chance to meet Daniel, that is my first priority. If he does not want me in Lexington, then I will assume he is hiding something. Keight 10/14/99 1:58 PM Great.. it was starting to sound like HE was calling the shots and I knew that couldn't be right... Shary2 10/14/99 2:00 PM Nope .... he isn't. Keight 10/14/99 2:02 PM Didn't think so, but had to make a reality check... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 2:03 PM I appreciate that ... you know, just in case I get stuck on stupid again :) Keight 10/14/99 2:04 PM ha ha ha , I think we all get stuck on that "stupid" thing once in a while... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 2:39 PM We just got a BIG job for tomorrow and I told Rodona I wouldn't leave. She has had to cover the office most of the last two days because I was car shopping and buying. But she said I need to meet Daniel and that if he is agreeable to me coming to Lexington tomorrow that she will handle the mailing. Keight 10/14/99 2:40 PM She is really a sweet lady... I enjoyed chatting with her while you were in Portland... Shary2 10/14/99 2:41 PM yes, she is Keight 10/14/99 2:42 PM So , I bet you are going to go now and take care of business to give her a break so you can meet Daniel tomorrow??? :-)) Close?? Shary2 10/14/99 2:46 PM I just told her I don't even want her butt in the office tonight. Keight 10/14/99 2:47 PM :-)) kinda figured you would do something like that... I better let you go so you can do what you gotta do... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 2:48 PM ttyl .... i'll let you know how it goes with D tonight Keight 10/14/99 2:48 PM You better... :-)) Shary2 10/14/99 2:49 PM :-) Shary2 10/14/99 7:58 PM Daniel just said ok to me coming to Lexington tomorrow. But he said he has to change a few things and will call be back in a few minutes. I wonder if he's going to call back with an excuse. We'll know soon. Keight 10/14/99 7:59 PM Well, how did he sound when you first told him what you wanted? Shary2 10/14/99 8:00 PM He sounded like he thought that would be nice. Keight 10/14/99 8:01 PM That is what you needed to hear... Hopefully he doesn't come up with an excuse not to meet there. Shary2 10/14/99 8:01 PM I'm not placing any bets :) Keight 10/14/99 8:02 PM I didn't think you had a "gambling" problem.. Shary2 10/14/99 8:02 PM Jacques is waiting for an answer about Saturday. I promised to let him know in the morning. Good grief! Shary2 10/14/99 8:02 PM I had a wonderful conversation with my daughter Mary tonight. It's her 27th birthday. Keight 10/14/99 8:03 PM Wow you have been busy.... how is Mary doing...? Shary2 10/14/99 8:04 PM Just great. She and Robert (the youngest girl's dad) are going to get a house and move in together next month. She has wanted this for a long time. I'm real happy for her. Keight 10/14/99 8:05 PM I may meet a local man tomorrow night... I will let you know what happens.... Shary2 10/14/99 8:06 PM tell me about him Keight 10/14/99 8:11 PM That would be terrific for her... He is a local man that I answered the personal ad for... I sent him a pic and didn't hear much from him until recently.. he wants to have a place in the mountains by a river and that has been a dream of mine for a long time... he seems to be a caring gentleman... but we will have to see what happens.. Shary2 10/14/99 8:12 PM have you seen a pic of him? What's his name? Shary2 10/18/99 8:18 AM That's cute! Keight 10/18/99 8:51 AM YOOO HOOO Shary - Tell me about Daniel... I am going crazy on this end... Thank you for the neat computer gender joke... but I want to know about Daniel.... Don't make me beg... please... ;-)) Shary2 10/18/99 8:56 AM I am just not interested. Will talk to you about it later. Walked into a work frenzy. Keight 10/18/99 8:57 AM OK, well at least that gives me an idea. Thanks and you take care. I will wait to hear from you later.. :-)) Shary2 10/18/99 8:58 AM ok Keight 10/18/99 11:53 AM HELP..... Shary2 10/18/99 12:09 PM What's happening? Keight 10/18/99 12:27 PM I was trying to receive a file transfer and got the message the the TCP is not set right... can you help? Keight 10/18/99 12:50 PM It says "Can't allocate an available TCP listen port for incoming events" for incoming and outgoing file transfers How can I set the TCP? You had me do it once before... Shary2 10/18/99 1:06 PM I don't know. I'll look at my ICQ and see if I can figure it out. Keight 10/18/99 1:37 PM I tried to find where it would be and even if I could find it, I don't know what it should be.... Thank you for any help you can give... Shary2 10/18/99 4:28 PM Check preferences/connection. Should show "using modem", and "determine IP automatically". Keight 10/18/99 5:41 PM It is already set that way.... Shary2 10/18/99 5:45 PM check your phone messages Keight 10/18/99 5:46 PM OK, as soon as I take the computer down.. Did you call? Shary2 10/18/99 6:01 PM yep :) Keight 10/18/99 6:44 PM OK, let me get out a couple of emails and then I will shut down and check the phone... What is your number and I will call back... Shary2 10/19/99 7:28 PM I love it. Keight 10/20/99 6:21 AM That was sent to me by a man in FL and I thought it was SO beautiful, I just had to share it. How are things going? NY is out of the running.... Shary2 10/20/99 11:57 AM What happened with NY? Keight 10/20/99 12:05 PM We had a big argument yesterday. He was asking me some pointed questions and one of the questions required me to tell him about Butch and that we had been together. Then he asked more questions which in answering I told him that Butch knew about him. Then he really came unglued. He doesn't want me telling anyone about him and me, he won't tell anyone of his friends about me, etc. Keight 10/20/99 12:05 PM I told him that I am open and talk about my friends to my friends, but in a positive way or stating facts, but I never say things bad about anyone... well, he hasn't contacted me anymore, so I guess he has decided that he can't handle me being open. I really don't know what he is going to do, but I do know that it is best for us not to be together. He was going to come here next spring or summer. Shary2 10/20/99 12:05 PM It's called weeding them out :) Keight 10/20/99 12:08 PM YUP, and Amsterdam is still in the running... There is another unmarried man in Florida that is nice too. He left today for a two day cruise to nowhere on a cruise ship. It is a maiden voyage to introduce travel agents to the new ship and he has a friend that is a travel agent and she (I asked-not serious) asked him to go too. But he likes to take cruises. Don't know if anything could come of that one, but it would be nice too. Shary2 10/20/99 12:09 PM At the very leasst, you're enjoying meeting these people and corresponding with them. If something comes of it, so much the better. Shary2 10/20/99 12:09 PM I want to see Cordell! Soon :) Keight 10/20/99 12:11 PM Has he still been calling regularly? Shary2 10/20/99 12:12 PM Not really. He didn't even call this weekend and it was his weekend off. But he had worked over 120 hours last week and was whipped. He said he misses me and wants to see me. I emailed him and told him I'd take him to a movie tonight if he isn't on call. He might be though. Keight 10/20/99 12:14 PM What is it he does? Sounds like he puts in a lot of hours... Of course, you could be good relaxation for him, a nice massage, soothing music, and ??? Shary2 10/20/99 12:20 PM He drives a roll-back wrecker. Keight 10/20/99 12:29 PM That's right, now I remember you told me that. I guess I didn't realize that was his avocation. That can keep you really busy. Have you ever thought of spending an evening while he is one duty and going out with him? It can be very interesting. It can also be very sad too. Shary2 10/20/99 12:32 PM I would have gone on the track with him at the NASCAR race if he had needed to go out. Fortunatekly he didn't need to. Keight 10/20/99 12:34 PM I need to go lay down for a bit, I am getting a headache that I don't want to turn into a migraine.. Don't know why I have this one.... Talk to you later, OK? Hope Cordell is free to night and you both get some relaxation.. You need it too. Shary2 10/21/99 3:11 PM use this icq so I can hear you if you need me Keight 10/21/99 3:21 PM OK. Shary2 10/21/99 5:48 PM don't hit submit for a few minutes -- we're downloading data base Keight 10/21/99 5:49 PM OK Shary2 10/21/99 5:49 PM I'll let you know when we finish ... about five minutes Keight 10/21/99 5:49 PM OK.. Shary2 10/21/99 5:50 PM ok ... you can go again Keight 10/21/99 5:51 PM OK, Thanks Keight 10/21/99 7:04 PM Do you need all these done tonight? Keight 10/22/99 6:49 AM Hi, am having a problem getting the form to send... I have hit it 3 times, but it doesn't go to the second page... Don't want to keep sending it if it is actually going out... But don't want to enter any more if they are not going out. I disconnected and brought it back up and that didn't help. I haven't taken the whole computer down, but will do that as soon as I hear back from you.. Keight 10/22/99 7:19 AM I found the problem... It didn't like the form coming from the desktop where I saved it... Yesterday I used the url you send and then saved it to the desktop. Today I used that and it wasn't working... Got it going now... sorry to bother you... :-)) Keight 10/22/99 11:05 AM Done entering the first 5 - and you have Sandra with no last name also, so I can go on from there????? Shary2 10/23/99 6:14 AM Did you just send an icq or was that a leftover? Keight 10/23/99 6:17 AM That was from last night.... I need your help today so I can continue - the error message is error 404 if that helps... Shary2 10/23/99 6:18 AM I'll run a test in a few minutes and get right back to you. Got in at 3 this morning :) Had my first taste of Nashville night-life. I'll tell you all about it later. Keight 10/23/99 6:19 AM Sounds fun - I will be out for a bit this AM but but will be back and will get your messages then.. Shary2 10/23/99 6:20 AM we have soccer games for both boys -- I forgot I need to leave in a few minutes. Will let you know when I get back. Keight 10/23/99 6:21 AM That is fine... I just brought up a new one just now and it is working...(I hope) I will keep going until I leave.... Shary2 10/23/99 6:22 AM I can't check the data base till Rodona gets here. Keight 10/23/99 6:22 AM OK, I will wait... Keight 10/23/99 10:15 AM I have printed these out and am typing them in and it is going so much faster... yeeha ! ! Shary2 10/23/99 10:43 AM good idea Keight 10/23/99 10:44 AM I have done as much today in a few hours as I did in two days by copy /paste... so much faster.... Got time? Shary2 10/23/99 10:44 AM Just came in. Give me about 10 min. Keight 10/23/99 10:44 AM Gottcha.... :-)) Shary2 10/23/99 10:49 AM Rodona is check ing the database now. Can you give me an idea of how many you have sent? Keight 10/23/99 10:49 AM Let me count.... :-)) Since our last count or just today? Shary2 10/23/99 10:50 AM We have about 80, so I think we're probably ok. Keight 10/23/99 10:52 AM I sent 52 since the last count Shary2 10/23/99 11:07 AM ok, thanks Keight 10/23/99 11:08 AM Going to take a break... Dawn bought her truck and wants to take me for a ride in it... Shary2 10/23/99 11:08 AM Sounds like fun. Enjoy! Keight 10/23/99 11:11 AM I don't know that she can afford it, but she will have to learn just like everyone else... She doesn't like it when I tell her she shouldn't do something. How is your new car? Shary2 10/23/99 11:12 AM I love it and the freedom it gives me. Keight 10/23/99 11:12 AM FOR SURE... It was really hard for us to be without a vehicle. Shary2 11/9/99 11:19 AM U THERE? Keight 11/9/99 11:45 AM Am now... Shary2 11/9/99 11:45 AM http://216.214.150.58/members/104/mort/ Keight 11/9/99 11:46 AM Got it thanks... Will start right away.... ;-) Shary2 11/9/99 11:47 AM Great! You are a good one :-) Keight 11/9/99 11:47 AM Thank you for sending the new form.... Isn't it funny how the Universe kept me from entering this AM? Never ceases to amaze me...;-) Shary2 11/9/99 12:01 PM We lost about 80 leads. Keight 11/9/99 12:02 PM HOW? Something I did? Shary2 11/9/99 12:03 PM Oh, no, not at all. That's about how many were on there thaat we hadn't pulled yet when the server went down. Keight 11/9/99 12:05 PM Oh, No ! ! ! ! That is too bad... ;-( Can they resend them to you? I don't know if you got the message yesterday, but the checks still have not arrived... Hope they come today.... Shary2 11/9/99 12:19 PM There is nothing to resend. People filled out the form to get info and there is no other record of them. It's not like the ones I send you to enter. Keight 11/9/99 12:21 PM Oh, that is really a shame.... I can imagine the red sparks that flew when that happened... ;-( Shary2 11/10/99 5:14 PM Don't give up :-) Keight 11/10/99 5:15 PM NOT ME ! ! ! ;-) Give up is not in my vocabulary... Shary2 11/10/99 5:18 PM It will be worth it. Shary2 11/10/99 5:22 PM soon Shary2 11/10/99 5:26 PM well? Keight 11/10/99 5:29 PM looking.... had some other messages to get through before I got to this one... brb Shary2 11/10/99 5:30 PM ok Keight 11/10/99 5:30 PM WHOAAA WOW MY WHEWW ;-)) Does that say anything.... my goodness... Shary2 11/10/99 5:30 PM Yow! Shary2 11/10/99 5:31 PM Doesn't he just make your mouth water? Keight 11/10/99 5:32 PM Mouth, yes... other places too... mmmmmmmm very nice... ;-)) Shary2 11/10/99 5:34 PM I can't believe I was actually flirting with him. And he was having fun too. Keight 11/10/99 5:34 PM I bet he was.... how old is he? Shary2 11/10/99 5:35 PM 34 Keight 11/10/99 5:36 PM That's not too young... I am chatting with a 24 year old who wants to come marry me.. ;-) Shary2 11/10/99 5:37 PM I was IM's and talking on the phone last night with a 60-year old east Indian who wants to come cook for me. Keight 11/10/99 5:37 PM Isn't it funny.... these guys are too cute.... ;-)) Shary2 11/10/99 5:40 PM Tony wants me to meet him for coffee next week. He knows I have kids older than him. He is married -- very unhappily -- but won't play around. He has an 18-month old daughter, Hannah, and he is going to stay married for now for Hannah's sake. He seems like a good dad. Keight 11/10/99 5:43 PM Are you going to meet him...? I think I would... just to see if he is for real in person... wow what a nice looking man. Shary2 11/10/99 5:45 PM Maybe. Keight 11/10/99 5:47 PM If you do meet him, let me know... Think you can keep from drooling.??? I might have a hard time.... ;-) Shary2 11/10/99 6:00 PM He's pretty yummy :) Keight 11/10/99 6:20 PM Yes he is... Sorry I was so long in answering... got into a chat session... Shary2 11/10/99 6:21 PM np -- I'm going to take a bubble bath break :) Keight 11/10/99 6:22 PM oooooooooo with candles? and aromatherapy? Shary2 11/10/99 6:23 PM bubbles, tea and a good romance novel Keight 11/10/99 6:24 PM and candles?? Shary2 11/10/99 6:25 PM Of course :-) Keight 11/10/99 6:26 PM tee hee thought so... ;-)) Your checks came today (finally) Thank you so much... Shary2 11/12/99 6:39 PM lost my connection -- hang on while I get that computer back up Keight 11/12/99 6:52 PM Well, shucks.... OK Keight 11/13/99 2:46 PM I forwarded that to you... It is from Jan in Amsterdam.... tell me what you think...